I’ve been with my dependable king single bed since my age ticked over to double digits. It’s the same bed I’ve had since I hit puberty: it’s moved into three houses with me; it’s witnessed my first period and my first pimple.
“But Maggie, aren’t you approaching your mid-20s?” I hear you ask. I want to make the case for keeping your single bed for as long as you can — hear me out.
While many ditch their single bed owner status as they age up, bigger isn’t always better. People with bigger beds always have a preference for what side of the bed they sleep on — left, right or in the middle. The leftover side usually just becomes makeshift storage, with clothes and miscellaneous items stacked where a body should be. But you won’t hear someone with a single bed pick a favourite side. The bed has chosen for you.
As a straight-sized person, a king single does the job. It’s unfussy, it’s a place to lie my weary head after a long day. Last year I posted a photo of my humble bed, and found a community of adults who still sleep in a single bed. “Thank you for repping king single gals,” read one comment. “Some king single representation for you,” read another person, tagging their friend.
Like drinking excessively or milling around on dating apps, the powers that be have declared that upgrading to an ‘adult-appropriate’ bed is part of the initiation into adulthood. But for many, this just isn’t feasible.
Beds are bloody expensive. Beds take up a helluva lot of space. For those who still live at home with their parents (me) and whose rooms are on the tighter side (me), a bigger bed simply won’t fit, especially in the WFH era.
“But what about engaging in sexy time?” people often enquire. To that I say, having strict Chinese parents is the biggest cockblock of them all. It takes (at least) two to coitus, and unless your partner is also part of the single bed club, there are other options.
And who actually enjoys sharing a bed anyway? The single bed life is your all-access, no-strings-attached excuse to maintain the sacredness of the holiest of rituals: slumber. Owning a single bed is the non-verbal equivalent of shrugging your shoulders and sighing, “Sorry, I have to wake up early tomorrow.”
Single bed owners, for too long we have lain in (appropriately-sized) shame. But no more. Tomorrow we rise (well-rested, of course) and embrace our beds that are definitely not made for children.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
What Happened When I Tried A Sleep Divorce