Getting married – that is to say, legally wed – is a different beast to having a wedding. It has to be done by a religious official or a registrar in an officially registered space and it can be annoyingly bureaucratic. In England you have to give notice in your district and, if you’re having a destination wedding, get married there too. Sure, organising a wedding guest list is a headache but have you ever tried getting through to your local council after a pandemic?
Many couples end up doing two ceremonies: the Proper Wedding and the legal ceremony. And this, of course, affords the opportunity for two outfits (and twice as much fun). We spoke to eight women about their legal ceremony ‘fits, what inspired them and how they celebrated their official, legal change without the big to-do.
Why did you have ‘two’ weddings?
I got a job in Canada and it was in the midst of the pandemic so we needed to be married (or in our case, civil partnered) for him to come with me. We’re doing the big wedding party at the end of May this year.
What did you wear for the legal ceremony?
I wore a white wool, Roland Mouret jumpsuit, my mum’s cape that she wore at her wedding and some borrowed jewellery from my aunt.
I didn’t plan to wear white, just something cool, interesting and suitable for a small city wedding (we did it at Islington Town Hall). I also needed it quickly as we had to move forward our date because of an impending lockdown (we ended up getting married the night before a new lockdown came into effect – it was stressful!). What I chose happened to be white, which I wasn’t really thrilled about but went with it anyway. It was only £200 (down from around £1,000). I bought some pretty plain Kurt Geiger shoes and went round to my aunt’s to borrow jewellery that had belonged to my grandmother. I don’t really wear jewellery usually but thought it was quite winter-appropriate (we got married in November) to be all glittery for an evening.
On the actual wedding party I’m wearing a white, long wedding dress. Although it’s similarly simple and pretty pared back. I’m going to wear the same shoes and the same cape that my mum wore.
How else did you celebrate?
We could only have our immediate families in the actual room with us but we drank champagne with some more family and friends out on the street before walking back to my parents’ house and eating a cake my friend made for us. It was very lowkey – mostly due to COVID – but still lovely. It was also my partner’s idea of a perfect wedding: I think if he had his way we wouldn’t be doing the big party at all! (No no, he’ll like it I’m sure…)Photo Courtesy of Agnes.
Why did you have ‘two’ weddings?
Myself and my partner threw a surprise wedding with 150 guests on the Saturday beforehand. Nobody knew a thing so during that ceremony we said to the four witnesses: “Pack your bags – we’re heading to the National Library of Wales on Monday to make this thing legal and we need you there!”
What did you wear for the legal ceremony?
I wore a vintage suit I found on Oxfam Online and paired it with vintage Gucci heels, an original ’60s pillbox hat and a vintage Dior cuff. Everything was handmade or secondhand.
I own my own bridal boutique in south Wales championing handmade dresses, separates and jumpsuits. The 10 designers I work alongside are such a team that there was no way I could ever choose just one to wear… I’m a big believer in voting with our money and wanted to support charities and female-founded businesses. My shoes had an embroidered bumblebee on the front – I love all things nature and I swapped the original buttons off the suit to match them. I’m a huge fan of Dior and statement jewellery so when I saw the cuff I knew that was the perfect finishing touch.
How else did you celebrate?
I believe a successful relationship is all about teamwork so we got ready together, drove to the National Library together, walked in together and wrote our own vows. Afterwards our four witnesses headed with us to a little cottage we had rented to celebrate with a plant-based feast and endless cake!Photo Courtesy of Rachel.
Why did you have ‘two’ weddings?
We had to have something legally binding but wanted to do an outdoors wedding in Devon. The cost of licensing and getting a registrar out to a place that’s licensed is not only ridiculously expensive but such a faff. So it was cheaper and easier, as we live in London, to get the legal bit out of the way. We got married in London on the Wednesday, then drove to Devon on the Thursday to have the wedding on the Saturday.
Our wedding day was a marquee field wedding on the coast, so completely different. I wore an ivory dress with detachable sleeves and a detachable skirt to be able to have a mini dress in the evening. While in London we had family and local friends who could pop out of work for an hour or so to come; the Devon wedding was the whole shebang.
What did you wear for the legal ceremony?
I wore a red suit from Zara basics that’s a few years old now. They remake it similarly every year. Cost £50!
I liked that it was bright and still smart. I wanted to keep the ‘wow’ factor dress until what I classed as the big day. I’m also a big fan of ‘more is more’ so why limit myself to one look when I can have multiple? I already owned the suit but hadn’t worn it yet so it seemed perfect.
How else did you celebrate?
We followed the ceremony to the pub down the road. We chose to get married in Southwark Register Office rather than our council as it was better located. We had a lovely drinks reception at The Camberwell Arms and followed with a private dinner. It was perfect! Photo Courtesy of Olivia-May.
Why did you have ‘two’ weddings?
Having a separate legal ceremony was purely because we wanted our actual wedding to be done our own way. We’d met working on theatre productions together so knew we could make something ourselves that was personal. The separate, legal ceremony was the best way to make sure the actual wedding was totally ours.
The legal ceremony was two days before our actual wedding and only our immediate family were present, with the exception of my cousin who wasn’t going to be at the main wedding due to being a best man for his friend the same day. This day was more intimate and chill. We didn’t put much effort into it!
What did you wear for the legal ceremony?
I now can’t remember why but I hadn’t sorted my outfit, apart from the shoes, until the day before the ceremony. We had a very relaxed approach to this part of the wedding so I possibly had something else that would do and last-minute changed my mind? I raided my mum’s wardrobe with no luck, then we dashed off to TK Maxx in the afternoon. We actually found the exact thing there. It was perfect: floral, floaty, elegant and autumnal. But the only one they had was like half a size too small. My incredible sister (who also made my actual wedding dress) managed to alter it to make it fit and mum dug out some beautiful vintage coral jewellery to complement the autumnal colours.
The dress was navy with orange and yellow flowers and soft, floaty frills. My shoes were a dusty pink satin mid heel with ballet ties from ASOS. I wore a simple necklace of small coral beads and coral earrings shaped like bunches of grapes.
How else did you celebrate?
We met our families at the pub next door to the town hall before the ceremony, then got married, then went to a different pub for dinner and then a night just the two of us in a fancy hotel. Except I actually got the time wrong and we were all there at the first pub an hour early. So we filled the time with another round…or two. I remember us looking at each other in horror when we had to stand during the ceremony, realising we were accidentally getting married absolutely hammered. When we got back to the hotel we were so tired we fell asleep watching a Pixar film on my husband’s laptop!Photo Courtesy of Idgie.
Why did you have ‘two’ weddings?
We’re Nigerian and Pentecostal Christians so our pastor isn’t authorised to conduct legally binding wedding ceremonies. I wore the typical white wedding dress for this, having worn traditional Nigerian outfits for the Nigerian traditional ceremony.
What did you wear for the legal ceremony?
I wore a white wrap Ted Baker dress with gold flecks. I bought this dress specifically for the day (legal/registry wedding). I just wanted it to be something I could wear on a different occasion, so a more versatile dress.
How else did you celebrate your legal ceremony?
It was very much a rational/practical choice versus my religious ceremony. It was very informal and tiny, comprising just my mum and brother as witnesses – our traditional wedding had about 500 people and the religious ceremony about 250.Photo Courtesy of Angela.
Why did you have ‘two’ weddings?
We had to have a legal ceremony as we were getting married in France for the main event and you have to be legally legally wed in the UK to be able to do this.
What did you wear for the legal ceremony?
I wore a gorgey green Ganni number and a pair of white Ganni kitten heels. I also incorporated a pearl bag of my nan’s, which she wore on her wedding day. Cute!
I aimed to go lowkey for my legal day but that isn’t in my nature and it turns out it was probably our favourite wedding day overall. I knew I definitely wanted some white elements within the ‘fit but not necessarily a white dress or suit as I wanted to save that for the main event. I found this beaut dress online while procrastinating at work and sent it to many colleagues who demanded I order it. I’m so glad I did as it’s potentially one of my favourite things I own – it’s got bloody pockets and a zip down the front, for god’s sake! I felt rather adorable in it I must say. I teamed the dress with a white velvet headband, heels with a bow on the back (of course) and a bouncy blow-dry.
It was a very different dress to my main wedding day – although both dresses had flowers on, which definitely wasn’t purposeful, I swear…
How else did you celebrate?
We had a really lovely meal with the immediate family, went on a bar crawl of Birmingham and ended up the last group standing in a karaoke club – dreamy?!Photo Courtesy of Megan.
Why did you have ‘two’ weddings?
My husband and I decided to have a separate day a month before the wedding to do the legal ceremony at the Camberwell register office. I picked the flowers for my bouquet in the morning from my garden in southeast London and we cycled over to the pub to meet our two best friends who acted as our witnesses. Quick change out of cycling clothes and then off to the register office for the ceremony, then out for a lovely dinner in Peckham. It was such a special, freeing day and so beautifully hot but I don’t see this day as our wedding, which was a month later in July 2021.
We did this because we wanted to have our main wedding ceremony outside in a place not ‘legal’ for wedding ceremonies. We weren’t getting married at an official venue, it was just a place special to us, owned by people we know. It was my dream day, with a big canvas marquee, lots of amazing food, drink, friends and family.
Because of COVID we got married five days after ‘freedom day’ in 2021 but it was uncertain leading up to the wedding that we’d have our 100+ guests and we wanted to secure that as an outdoor event rather than have 30 people indoors somewhere that wasn’t in any way special to us. We’re really not that into marriage as a concept so the celebration was much more important to us than the paperwork.
Also, we wanted our friend to be our celebrant and he’s not a registrar. It was so so special and intimate having no one else at our wedding but our friends and family.
What did you wear for the legal ceremony?
For our wedding I wore a Jacquemus white linen gown, which was my dream dress. For the legal ceremony I still wanted to wear white – I’m not sure why but it just felt right. I didn’t have any expectations and left it a bit late but a month or so before the wedding I saw a simple, white dress in Zara and it just felt perfect for the legal ceremony. It felt a bit fateful because I wasn’t even looking, it just landed in front of me. It was £30. My shoes for both were the St Agni Gio sandals. I did buy two different pairs of heels before just deciding to wear flats. Heels aren’t my thing so I’m not sure what I was thinking – it’s so important to feel yourself!Photo Courtesy of Anna.
Why did you have ‘two’ weddings?
I was never interested in getting married inside a church, ideally I wanted to be married outside. My partner and I found an organic farm where we could have the ceremony and reception but it was so expensive to hire a registrar that we decided to marry with our immediate family there the day before. At the time, both of us just wanted to be married. The wedding always came second so the price (considering we were both students at the time) made it a no-brainer.
I wasn’t expecting the legal ceremony to be as emotional as it was. I didn’t cry at our wedding but I cried in the registry. How much I meant each of the vows really hit me in a way that felt less overwhelming at the wedding. Being surrounded by the people who had raised you and grew up with you was really special.
What did you wear for the legal ceremony?
In all honesty I wasn’t that precious about it. It was seven years ago and I threw on a black jumpsuit that I’m pretty sure was from ASOS, a black woollen jacket and brown shoes with a gold buckle. One of my close friends from years before had talked about their parents eloping to Scotland and her mum wearing a black dress. I always thought that was pretty cool and maybe I internalised it. I never fantasised about weddings so when it came down to it actually happening, the only thing I really cared about was being married to my partner. Dressing up in a white wedding gown didn’t feel very ‘me’. It’s pretty theatrical to walk down an aisle towards your partner in a massive, white dress you will never wear again. But the registry felt very natural, honest and real. Being with my best friend, in our everyday clothes, making the decision to get married!
How else did you celebrate your legal ceremony?
We were married where we met, in Cornwall, so afterwards we went with our family to a local beach cafe. We had spent a lot of time there with friends and family who came to visit, and we both love being next to the sea. A lot of that day felt very rooted in reality. It was a mirror of our relationship at that point – how we had met, places we spent time together, clothes we wore every day, etc. Plus we had to go to the farm to get everything set up for the wedding!Photo Courtesy of Jessica.
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