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The 14 Types Of Crushes, Explained

In a world full of bad news, crushes can fuel us. Butterflies in our stomachs, electrifying rushes from brief interactions and nerves that make us feel alive: the thrill of having a crush can add a lot to the mundanity of our lives.

Not to be confused with having more serious feelings for someone, crushes can come in all forms. But while some of us are hopeless romantics that are prone to developing crushes on everyone we meet (yes, you, dear water signs) no one is immune to the potential of a budding romance. By going through our own histories in an excruciating process of self-reflection, we’ve filtered the list down to fourteen kinds of crushes that you might have had (or will have).

Ahead, our guide to the different types of crushes and our advice for making sure they’re fun, not foolish.

Also known as the ‘Hometown Crush’, this is the one that we think of as our romantic awakening. Maybe they were the first person you ever had a crush on, or maybe they were the first you had actual feelings for, but either way, these crushes tend to stay with us. And, sadly, these people, no matter how bad they may be for us, tend to have a unique hold on us.
You might have had a poster or two on your bedroom wall of celebrities that you still kind of fawn over. Or maybe you’re still waiting for your Notting Hill moment. But everyone has had a celebrity crush, even if they refuse to admit it.

In 2022, though, the term ‘celebrity’ is foggier than ever. And on top of the Jake Gyllenhaals of the world, we also have a new kind of celebrity crush. As we spend more and more of our time online, poring over posts of influencers and strangers alike, we form parasocial relationships with people we’ve never met, and in some cases, the intrigue evolves into inexplicable crushes.

Maybe it’s because of the amount of time we spend there, the trauma bonding in toxic workplaces or just the mundanity of working, crushes are rife in the workplace.

While these are usually fairly innocuous, settling into friendships or relationships, it’s tricky terrain to navigate and important to know what’s appropriate. A bit of flirting never hurt anyone, but ensure that it’s consensual and that you’re both on the same page about the limitations of the situation. Where it can go wrong is when either party is engaging in an emotional affair or you find that the relationship is impinging on your ability to concentrate. When that comes, it could be time to get some space and assert some boundaries.

OK, hear us out because we know that these can be controversial and fraught with impropriety. But it’s natural to be crushing on your professor, boss or another figurehead. In evolutionary terms, it makes perfect sense to be attracted to someone in a position of power who seems resourceful and put-together. And besides, learning is hot and someone that can teach us anything in a non-man-splaining way is extremely attractive.

Of course, the caveat is that with authority comes a power imbalance. Where it’s healthy to feel an attraction to someone older and wiser, it’s vital to have boundaries in place. Even if it’s completely one-sided and you don’t feel like you’re being taken advantage of, there’s a lot than can go wrong here, so keep it above board.

These are one of the most common crushes and while they can vary in intensity, they’re essentially dead in the water, and never able to harness the momentum that would see anything real come into fruition.

What makes these crushes so ‘impossible’ is that despite the unreal chemistry, you know that the two of you could never work out in ‘real life’. Still, it’s fun to pretend otherwise as long as you’re both uncommitted, on the same page and not getting too attached.

This is the crush that emerges out of sheer convenience. Maybe you wouldn’t have looked twice at them at a bar, but they’re the only single friend left or the only person who shares your niche interests.

That’s not to say that there isn’t merit to these crushes and they can’t flourish into something great, but life’s too short to settle for what’s just in front of you, so make sure you’re being realistic and honest about your feelings so you don’t hurt anyone.

Let us paint you a picture. You’re waiting for your bus when you notice a handsome stranger standing near you at the stop. Some weeks later, you’re applying some lipstick for errands and timing your walks to catch them. Maybe you’ve even shared some eye contact or a laugh over the bus going straight past you. You don’t even know their name, their interests or anything else, really, but you find yourself creating entire personalities around them and projecting fantasies about how they’re ‘the one’. This is a stranger crush.

Even if they’re your barista or local bartender and you do get to interact with them a little, deep down, we know we’re romanticising. As long as you’re not getting all your hopes up and banking on them being your future partner, you’re likely to move on pretty quickly. But hey, if you’re single and feeling a bit spontaneous, you could always just… ask them out?

We all take on a different persona when we’re on holiday — and why not? Being on holiday can feel like a suspended reality where nothing really ‘counts’ the way it does back home with our everyday lives. Our usual Icks are thrown to the wayside for the sake of a good time and that can be incredibly liberating.

Where issues can arise is when we tell ourselves that these flings are something that they’re not. Sure, it’s possible to meet the love of your life on holiday, or even just a great pen pal, but be realistic about how this person fits into your life, and make sure you know where you stand, too.

After a breakup, it can feel like we’re never going to have feelings for anyone ever again. But then, suddenly, whether it’s weeks, months or even years, we meet someone and something stirs within us. It could be an unremarkable match, but it feels like your heart has been jumpstarted and you realise you’re ready to get back out there.

These are freeing crushes, and can definitely mark the beginning of a new flame, but make sure you’re not stringing someone along while still getting over an ex, or just reaching out for some kind of intimacy in a lonely low point in your breakup journey.

When we’re not happy in our relationships, sometimes we find ourselves more vulnerable to forming crushes on people. Sure it’s perfectly healthy to be attracted to people who aren’t our partners, but when we’re looking at them as a kind of ‘getaway’, then that’s where it gets real.

Usually, they’re someone we interact with often and even if they’re not someone we’d usually be into, we feel inexplicably drawn to them because they seem like an exit route. But it’s more the idea that there’s something else out there for us that we’re really drawn to, and the hard part isn’t getting over the crush, but admitting what it could mean for your relationship.

They say it’s a fine line between love and hate, but we reckon it’s a little more lust than love. A hate crush is usually born out of spite, when someone gets our blood boiling so much that it circles back to turning us on. We know it’s a little twisted, but you’re not a complete weirdo or hypocrite for feeling an attraction to someone you can’t stand. Only, it’s important to not confuse opposition with passion.

Whether you know it’s a non-starter or the idea that it could actually work is beginning to creep up, we recommend getting space from the person in question — both for your stress levels and the romantic reprieve.

This could also fall into the Stranger Crush, but what sets these crushes apart is that you’re not so much drawn to them as you are to their look. Maybe they dress really well or hang out in the same places as you and seem to fit your general ‘vibe’, but you can’t help but convince yourself they’re the one because of their taste.

Unfortunately, these crushes are fairly superficial and can lead to a lot of disappointment. We know that physical attraction is important and we’re entitled to our preferences, but if you’re ignoring red flags or discounting people because they don’t fit a certain aesthetic, then you might be in for some heartache. Because while you’re pining after the person in the good ‘fit, you could be missing out on the really great person who is actually a good fit for you.

During dry spells or certain points of your menstrual cycle, we can hit a juncture where we’re just really, really horned up.

Biologically, our hormones play tricks on us and we can develop feels for anyone and everyone. Have your fun but try not to do anything you’ll regret, like hooking up with that friend you swore you’d never or making things awkward with a coworker.

Crushes come and go, but the ones that stick around can devolve into something more sinister and obsessive… limerence. If you’re not familiar with the term, limerence, as coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov, PhD, in her 1979 book Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love, refers to “an involuntary interpersonal state that involves an acute longing for emotional reciprocation, obsessive-compulsive thoughts, feelings, and behaviours, and emotional dependence on another person.”

If you find yourself becoming emotionally overwhelmed by your crush, hell-bent on making them yours despite rejection or other roadblocks that have been life’s way of telling you it’s not going to happen, then it’s definitely time to remove yourself from the equation. Anything unrequited that occupies substantial real estate in your brain is not healthy and we recommend taking the nearest exit and speaking to a therapist. It’s easier said than done, but dismissing your feelings won’t help you move on!

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