The fantasy of walking into a sex party and being surrounded by ultra-hot people ripping each other’s clothes off might be fun to entertain but it’s not always the reality of sex parties, according to people who have turned their sexual fantasies into reality.
Here, we hear from six people who shared their sex party experiences on Reddit. Some are super sexy, others less so. From mindblowing orgasms to lavish hotels, here are true stories about people’e pursuit of ethical non-monogamy.
One of the best sex parties I’ve been to (as far as production value goes) was located on the top fours floors of a hotel in New York City. The top two floors were the penthouse, and had a pretty open floor plan. That’s where the DJ, a dance area, various cuddle puddle spaces, and furniture on which to chill or have sex were. There was an area for catering up there as well.
On the bottom two floors of the party were separate hotel rooms (four rooms on each floor), each room decorated with a different theme. One room was covered floor to ceiling in bubble wrap and coloured lights. Another room was pitch black and filled with giant inflated latex balloons. One room had a rope suspension rig and supplied a bunch of flogging implements, and throughout the night they did bondage/suspension demonstrations and shows. Another room was all flowers and soft things. One room was a bar, one room had trippy videos projected all over the walls/ceiling. I don’t remember the rest of the rooms. You could just explore from area to area and see what was going on in different places and what turned you on. Basically a sexual theme park. And of course, beautiful people just running around naked and fucking literally all over the place.
Of course, every room had a large supply of condoms, lube, sanitary wipes, gloves, towels, chucks, water, etc. Every bathroom had mouthwash, floss, breath spray, all the amenities. Large bathtubs and showers galore (as it was a hotel). Everything you could think of that you might need was provided for.
Obviously not every sex party is so lavish (in fact most probably aren’t), and they certainly don’t need to be so fancy to be amazingly fun… but it doesn’t hurt. The really important part is inviting the right people. This can’t be stressed enough. If you invite a bunch of people who just want to gawk and be selfish or who are prone to jealousy and drama, you’re about to have a bad time, no matter how fancy the decor is. Also, in my experience, the best sex parties are the ones where everyone feels safe and there are rules in place for how to handle breaches of consent (if they happen, which they shouldn’t).”
When guests started arriving, the hosts started handing out drinks. They also gave us some icebreaker cards with sexy/flirty questions. Stuff like most daring experience, favourite place to have sex, easiest way to orgasm, a lot of fun questions. Most of the people there seemed to be 30s-late 40s. I think I was the youngest, but there was a young-looking couple that I kind of gravitated towards quickly.
They were married, in their early 30s and in an open relationship. She had been to parties before, but this was his first as well. Maybe because of our closeness in age and both being first-timers, I was drawn to him and ended up spending most of the meet and greet chatting with both of them. I was left on a couch with him and feeling anxious and self-conscious but he turned to me and asked if I wanted to cuddle in one of the bedrooms. We closed the door and got under the covers together and spooned and talked. I was still feeling really anxious but also felt comfortable with him. I could feel him against me, but he was kind and patient, and I ended up making the first move kissing him.
We had sex and it was SO GOOD. It was also a psychological thrill knowing his wife was also nearby having sex. After our first round, we cuddled again and we could hear the play going on outside.
I don’t want to go too greatly into the details, but basically I played with him and his wife together in the bedroom. And then I eventually made my way out to the living room with them and I did a little more with one other guy with her.
Overall, I had a genuinely amazing, exciting experience where everything was very well organised and the host couple really put in effort to make me feel comfortable. I’m really glad I had the experience and it’s something I definitely want to explore more!”
It’s strangers for the most part, but people rarely come alone. More than half were couples in more or less open relationships. The rest are usually acquaintances (FWB who might have met on an app or earlier parties) or single girls going together. Single girls might also come with couples they’ve played with before. Once you’ve been to one party you’ll usually meet some people again at another party.”
These environments also tend to have, at the very least, a lot of alcohol (and often more exotic substances), and substance abuse is just not my thing. I don’t have any specific moral boundaries per se, but my enjoyment of alcohol is on the order of a glass of champagne after dinner, not downing shots until I pass out on the bathroom floor.
When I have sex, I want it to be with someone I’m into, not with someone I can tolerate. So yeah, obviously some people are into this scene, but for me, I hated it.”
I attended maybe half a dozen parties over the course of a couple of years, all held in private homes. Sheets draped over basement game room sofas. Beds with waterproof bed pads under the sheets. Brandy snifters full of condoms and lube. Incense to obscure the smell of sex. Hot tubs were popular and one place had an enclosed pool. Six to 10 couples at each, there were folks in the loop that I only saw once, some I think I never saw, a few that were at every event. The lack of emotional context made the party sex more about friction and mutual masturbation than an intimate expression of lust and love. I found I’d rather stick (and stick it to) people I know and like or go it alone.”
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
The Wand Vibrators You Need In Your Life