What We Really Feel About Giving Blow Jobs: 13 Women Don’t Hold Back
Oral sex — either giving or receiving it — can be as contentious as whether pineapple belongs on pizza; you either love it or hate it.
The spectrum of opinions towards oral sex is never more evident than when discussing blow jobs.
“Having a hot bf is tough, I be asking to shd every chance I get,” reads one TikTok with over 4.7 million views. Here, SHD stands for sucking his dick. Fellatio, gobbies, giving head… whatever you call it, being intimate with someone who has a penis means that you might end up being a giver of blow jobs.
Pop culture and sexual folklore have set blowies at gold-tier status — but the stereotype goes that women don’t like giving them.
How true is this? We asked 13 Refinery29 readers what they really think of blow jobs. Here are their unfiltered and honest answers.
“I hate them because I feel like there is so much pressure to be ‘good’ at giving a blow job and have your partner finish in like 30 seconds… and I have just never been able to achieve that. So they’re mostly filled with dread and self-doubt for me.” “I love giving blow jobs! It’s so much fun when it’s a partner you care about. Giving them pleasure gives me pleasure. Also, I love dressing up in lingerie for it!” “I actually kinda dig it, to be honest. For me, giving head to a dude feels empowering. Like I get to control every sensation he is feeling. I mix it up with how hard I suck, where I lick and at what point I feel like I’m done. I’ve been with lots of different partners, but my last relationship was really fun when it came to blow jobs. He was always really enthusiastic about it and we made clear what we both liked (for me, I hated my head being pushed down, for him, he didn’t like me sucking near or on his balls).
I’ve really enjoyed the experience of giving my partner pleasure as well. I think being clear, honest and respectful about your style of blowing a dick (or lack thereof) is really important because it’s different for everyone and can be enjoyable for both the giving and receiving parties.”
“Sexual desire is complicated. I’ll happily go down on my partner, knowing that blow jobs make them orgasm in a way nothing else can. However, if they expect me to let them cum in my mouth, it’s game over. Get that shit away from me.” “I love it. I’ve always found it fun. I’m bi, and I’m way better at and more turned on by giving oral sex to men than to non-men.” “Boring but an efficient way to a hard erection before penetrative sex — I would never give a blow job to ejaculation ever again in my life! Poor young Gracie didn’t know she could say no to that…” “I don’t do it so often, but when I do, I really enjoy it as I can see how much my boyfriend loves it. I think if I did it more often I wouldn’t enjoy it as much, it would feel like an obligation.” “I do it ’cause I know my guy likes it. I did it prior to being in a long-term relationship ’cause I assumed all guys liked it. I wouldn’t say I love doing it or that it’s the first place my mind goes. The nice thing about it is knowing it’s giving pleasure to the person you’re being intimate with and/or love.
For me, that’s what is good about sex or physical intimacy — what it does for the other person and feeling empowered by that. All that said, I refuse to swallow. Couldn’t pay me.
I appreciate things (and prefer it) being tidy down there. I reckon it’s better when it’s mutual, I don’t like the idea of being watched while doing it ’cause I don’t feel or look particularly attractive doing it (in my eyes). Who knows, I could look like The Birth Of Venus. But mostly I feel like I look like The Scream.”
“I don’t really like it but feel like I’m disappointing him if I don’t. Also, he happily gives me oral sex and I feel guilty that I don’t enjoy giving him blow jobs.” “I find it really empowering to go down on someone. It’s really sexy to offer up so much pleasure to someone and have their most… valuable and vulnerable ‘asset’ completely in your control.” “I’ve only ever given blow jobs to my boyfriend (of three years) and I like to give them. I love being able to see how much he enjoys the feeling of it, as well as watching me. I also like it for when I can’t receive penetrative or oral sex for whatever reason (period or a painful vagina) but can still have an intimate moment with my boyfriend and help him cum. I don’t think I would feel the same positive feeling to a blow job if it was with a random and probably would feel more like a chore.” “I don’t particularly care for it. A little can be fun, but it gets boring quickly.” “I love it and I’m pretty damn good at it. It’s so satisfying to see how my partner reacts and I love how good it makes them feel. My one requirement is that it’s clean but they always give me that courtesy.”
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