When you think of things that are none of your business, you probably go to the usual: other people’s lives, finances, relationship intricacies. You probably don’t think, “the back of my head.”
But that seems to be a common item on the lists people are creating on TikTok that detail the things that are none of their business. The trend, which has amassed over 41.6 million views, started with TikTok creator Mads Mitch (@mad_mitch) who posted a video in July with a list of things she called “none of my business”. The list ranged from “the back of my head” to “what Apple charges me $4.99 for.”
@mad_mitch #greenscreen ♬ original sound – mads mitch
The format has since taken off across TikTok, with people creating their own lists that dismiss anything from “times tables” to “my screen time”. There is a delightfully tongue-in-cheek edge to the trend, with people gleefully uniting in their dismissal of things that are often touted as things that we, as adults, “need to know”. Maths and numbers? None of our business. When to change over your windscreen wipers? None of our business. How to change a tyre? Say it with me now — none of our business.
There is something to be said, however, for how the lists tend to display things we are happy to let slide, or simply accept as the status quo. Plus-size creator Alisha (@alishasecic) displayed her own list of things pertaining specifically to existing as a plus-sized woman, highlighting, among other things, “rollercoasters” and “aeroplanes”.
@alishasecic Things that are none of my business as a plus size person 🫶 also lol the amount of times i say none of my business 😭 credit: @mads mitch ♬ original sound – Alisha
These are unfortunately things that the plus-sized community is often forced to accept as uncomfortable and unpleasant experiences, leaving many with little recourse but to sometimes simply disengage. The trend is, in this case, a heartbreaking commentary on the ways in which so many of our societal infrastructures are inherently fatphobic.
Also, the fact that the ingredients in skincare, deodorant and hair dye were common items on people’s lists highlights how willing we are to blindly accept putting products on our skin that we are told will make us appear younger/glowier/sleeker/like a glazed doughnut — even when most of us don’t actually know what they really do.
With that being said, what I do like about the trend is the ways in which it encourages us to disengage emotionally from unnecessary causes of stress. In her video, Alisha shares that another item on her list is how she appears while getting out of a car. It’s on the list because she’s not going to care how she looks in this moment anymore.
That’s the crux of things that are none of our business — we don’t have to care about them. If it’s none of our business, it removes our requirement to engage with them. A TikTok comment on the original video from Mads Mitch sums it up nicely: “I have started telling myself that how I look from the back is literally none of my business and it is doing wonders for my self-esteem.”
Many of the items on people’s lists are focused on our physical appearance, like the redness of our faces when we exercise, the clamminess of our hands, our side profiles, the amount that we sweat. This highlights how the trend is, in part, about dismissing the many, many tiny details that our brain often latches onto as “imperfect”. By demoting these to things that shouldn’t concern us, we are, in some small way, reducing the power they hold over us.
And if other people point these things out? Well, why are they pointing out the sweat on my upper lip? It’s literally none of my business, so it sure as hell isn’t any of yours.
I’m all for a trend that’s relatable, a bit snarky and, in its own small way, dismantles some of the societal pressures placed on us. In my own life, I strive to be an unbothered queen who cares little about inconsequential things (although the fact that I’m more of an anxious bean who checks the back of her head using her phone means that I still have some way to go, but we’re trying!)
So excuse me if I go ahead and order myself an Uber Eats lunch for the second time this week — because my bank balance? Yeah, you guessed it. None of my business.
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