This week: “I’m 33 years old and I work as a brand strategist in a creative agency. I live in London with my husband, W, and our almost-2-year-old, M. We bought our house five years ago with help from both our parents who contributed to the deposit (£80k). We renovated it ourselves with a loan we took out to do the work. My husband is an architect so he did all the design work and we did A LOT of DIY including the tiles, painting, garden etc. We aren’t terrible with money but we’re also not great. I’ve recently started a new role that has increased my salary by £20k so I’m still getting used to this level of paycheque. I work a compressed work week, which means I get paid my full salary but need to get five days’ work done in four. I feel incredibly lucky that both my previous and current job have allowed me to do this as it means I can spend Fridays with my son, which also helps with childcare. I get a huge amount of personal validation from my job and it’s important to me that I work hard and do well. Simultaneously, being a mama makes my heart hurt because I love it so much. W and I split everything evenly so we both put £2k into the joint account at the start of every month and this covers the mortgage, bills, loan repayments, car, house insurance and the food shopping.”
Occupation: SVP, Brand Strategy
Industry: Marketing
Age: 33
Location: London
Salary: £95,000
Paycheque amount: £4,980
Number of housemates: Two: my husband and toddler son.
Pronouns: She/her
Monthly Expenses
Housing costs: £900 for my share of the mortgage, split with my husband.
Loan payments: £250 for my share of a seven-year fixed rate loan (we took this out to do some building work when we bought our house), £200 for my share of car repayment.
Savings? £10k in a stocks and shares ISA (my savings took a big hit on maternity leave). I now put £500 a month into a Moneybox stocks and shares ISA.
Pension? I pay in 4.5%, as does my employer.
Utilities: £90 gas and electric (my half of the bill), £60 insurance (my half of the bill), £40 internet (I pay this as it’s looped in with my phone bill).
All other monthly payments: £600 childcare (my share paid directly into government tax-free account), £40 phone, £38 spinning membership. Subscriptions: £15 Netflix, £8.99 Amazon Prime, £7.99 Disney+, £40 Naked Wine (I love wine!). I pay for all these subscriptions simply because I was the one that wanted them.
Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
I have a BA in Italian and art history. I’m almost finished paying off my student loan, which was a slightly higher total amount as it was a four-year course. I had a job all throughout uni to pay for my accommodation etc.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money?
My parents always instilled a hardworking attitude in our family. I was encouraged to volunteer from age 14 and got a paid job in a shop when I was 16. Prior to that, pocket money was always available but it had to be earned by doing chores and jobs around the house.
If you have, when did you move out of your parents’/guardians’ house?
After university.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself? Does anyone else cover any aspects of your financial life?
Age 22, after graduating. My parents paid my rental deposit on the first flat I moved into and I gave it back to them when I moved out. They also paid for the odd train home to see them until I was about 25.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
My first professional job was as a copywriter in a small creative agency. I was told about the position while I was finishing an internship (supported by my parents) and somehow wangled my way in. I proved I was a hard worker and a team player and rose through the ranks quite quickly. I started on £18k but through demonstrating my output and value added, turned that into £28k after a year.
Do you worry about money now?
Yes, in the sense that between childcare, loan repayments and our mortgage, we have significant outgoings and I always worry about something happening to one of us. But I also know we’re in a very fortunate position.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income?
No.
5.55am: Wake-up call from the toddler, M. This is actually quite a reasonable time for him so instantly good vibes predicted for the day.
6am: My husband, W, goes to grab milk and brings M into us to snuggle and doze for as long as we can encourage him.
6.45am: Still dozing as M reorganises the bedside drawers. This is all well and cute until he gets into the bottom, more adult drawer. There’s something about trying to stop your toddler using your vibrator as a teething toy that really calls into question your parenting.
7am: Drag myself up to get dressed.
7.10am: Get M dressed while W is in the shower; he’s working from home today and moving at a glacial pace. I love getting M dressed. We open all the shutters and sing songs and say hello to the morning birdies.
7.20am: W takes over on breakfast for M so I can sort makeup and hair. A friend recommended some incredible Korean skincare snail goo and it’s the best, glowy af.
7.55am: Head out the door and walk to the Tube. It’s about a 20-minute walk but then the Tube is only 20 minutes to the office.
8.35am: Head to local hipster coffee place near work. I totally justify my morning work coffee routine by the fact I’m only in the office twice a week. I get a large latte, £3.90.
8.45am: I’m at my desk by quarter to. It’s going to be a busy day, packed with meetings, but I also need to get some decks done.
12.40pm: I haven’t really stopped all morning and I need to run and grab some food before my two-hour meeting. Literally just run across the road to Pret (exciting). Grab a tomato soup, bread roll, popcorn and drink, £11.30.
4pm: One of the perks of being in a bigger global company with budgets is that they really do look after us. Drinks come out every Thursday at 4pm; on offer are beers, rosé and prosecco. I grab a prosecco with a friend and have a quick catch-up.
6.09pm: Close my laptop and pack up. I’m meeting two friends for dinner tonight so head back into central to meet them in Soho. W and I take Thursdays in turn to be social so one of us is nearly always out.
7pm: Meet the girls at Din Tai Fung by Tottenham Court Road for a dumpling feast. We all have cocktails and order a ton of food for the table. MVP is the smashed cucumber salad and prawn gyoza.
10.40pm: Have an epic night putting the world to rights over three cocktails each. We’ve found that our girl time is more and more precious as we’ve got older and especially now we all have kids, it’s basically our therapy. Split the bill three ways as we all had the same amount of drinks and shared food, £77 each including tip. Not cheap but cheaper than therapy.
11.10pm: Home via Tube and bus, down a pint of squash and ibuprofen for inevitable headache and head to bed.
11.20pm: W is watching TV in bed so I snuggle in and am asleep in seconds. My TfL daily charge comes to £9.70.
Total: £101.90
5.45am: A delightfully early wake-up call from the toddler, who is already up and playing in his room. W is off on his 6am Friday cycle so I drag my hungover self downstairs with M to have a bottle of milk and snuggle in front of CBeebies.
7.15am: After breakfast I start a focaccia mix in the KitchenAid, ready for lunch (would highly recommend getting married just for the awesome kitchen gadgets). I tend to make fresh bread every Friday, I love baking/making things and it’s a great toddler-friendly activity.
8.30am: Transfer focaccia into tray for second prove and have more tea with W, who is back from his morning ride. We’ve got into quite a good rhythm of fitting in our own exercise and socialising around being parents and working. It keeps us sane!
10.30am: I don’t work Fridays so I can look after M and have a bit more work/life balance. We head out to soft play and I grab a flat white, £3.20, for the walk.
11am: Arrive at soft play and pay £6 for the pleasure of lying in a germ-infested ball pit. M loves it so it’s worth it.
12.15pm: Stop by the shops to get some tomatoes and fruit, £5.64.
12.30pm: Arrive back home and W is finishing up his morning of work. He works a 4.5 day compressed week so we tend to always have family Friday afternoons. We realise we’re super lucky to have this. We both spent our 20s working very long and late hours so it feels great that our lives right now are a bit more balanced and we can hang with M.
1.10pm: M goes for a nap and W does a bit more work. Meanwhile I get to do an hour or so in the garden. I got really into gardening in lockdown and while our garden is small, it’s our little oasis. I’ve managed to grow nearly everything from seed over the last few years and we spend a lot of time hosting our friends out here.
3.15pm: M is up and it’s FriYAY so we head to the pub. There’s a little brewery not far from us so we go and grab some seats outside. W gets our usual pale ales and some Space Invaders (the MVP of pub snacks), £12.90 on the joint account.
4pm: We’re lucky that the street we live on is awesome, with tons of couples with young kids. Our friends who have a little girl a similar age to M join us for another round. We get this one, £39.
6pm: Neither of us fancies cooking and the second fish and chips is mentioned, we know there’s no going back. I take M home in the pram and W heads to get the food, £16. We eat F&C on the sofa and carry on watching Ozark, which we’re finally getting into.
7.50pm: M off to bed. We then get a good 90 minutes of us time on the sofa, doing the inevitable endless scroll through Netflix to find something to watch.
9.45pm: God, sleep is just the best.
Total: £82.74
5.30am: M wakes up shouting, “Mama and Dada”. It’s so cute, we honestly can’t wait to bring him in for morning snuggles with us.
6.40am: Start running a morning bath. I love a Saturday morning bath/spa session and I’ve been desperately trying to take a bit more care of myself and my skin. Double cleanse and do a face and hair mask, feel like a new woman.
7.30am: It’s action stations as W and I are heading off to Kent for the night with some friends. We’re really good at having our own time but finding time as a couple is tough with a small person. We’ve been trying to make a concerted effort to do more date nights; this is the first weekend away just us two since Christmas.
8.54am: My dreamboat of a mother arrives to take over. My parents don’t live close but M is their only grandchild and they’re obsessed so are always offering to help.
9.30am: After a quick cup of tea with Mum, we hit the road. Stop off at local hipster coffee shop for overpriced flat whites, £6.80.
10am: Pick up our friends who we’re headed to Kent with. They’ve also deposited their kids with parents and there’s a giddy sense of freedom in the car.
12.20pm: Find parking in Rye near to where our friends have booked lunch. I have the Ringo app so I pay for parking. It comes to £1.40 for three hours — hello, out-of-London prices.
12.30pm: Lunch at a pub/restaurant. We’re all foodies so we order loads of small plates and share everything; bavette steak and whipped goat’s cheese salad is particularly good. Basque cheesecake and chocolate mousse with four spoons to share for pud. We get this on the joint as they’ve paid for the hotel, £179.
2.14pm: Walk around Rye, it’s so lovely here! Get more coffees, four flat whites for £13. We then head to the hotel, which is set on a vineyard. Our friend’s brother is a sous chef here and his wife is the sommelier so it’s a double bonus of getting to see them but also friends and family discount.
4pm: Vineyard tour and wine tasting start. Amazing wines and the guide is so knowledgeable. Very decent size pours, too!
5pm: Tour and tasting finishes and we head back to our rooms to chill for a bit before dinner. I have another bath (when in Rome) and W goes for a swim.
7pm: Meet in the bar for drinks. We all have a glass of something we tried on the tour and I buy a bottle of what we’re drinking to take home, £58.
7.30pm: Dinner is incredible, pretty much everything is grown and raised on the land or on neighbouring farms. We don’t know what we’re going to eat until it comes out but it’s not pretentious at all.
11.15pm: Happy and full after a night of laughing with old friends, we call it a day. The total bill for dinner for the four of us is £390 with friends and family discount. We split between the two couples and it comes to £195 on the joint account.
Total: £453.20
7.30am: Wake up of my own accord, feel like a new woman. Stay in bed and mindlessly scroll through TikTok, which has me in a chokehold on skincare and interiors.
9am: Go down for breakfast with the other couple. W has a full English with everything and of course beans. Pancakes for me with bacon and the obligatory hash brown on the side because #carbs. Breakfast included in hotel stay.
9.50am: Head back to room and pack up the stuff. We’re going to check out and head to Camber Sands beach for a coffee and a walk.
10.25am: Arrive at Camber Sands and find suitably hipster coffee shop. Get four flat whites for £15.60. Walk down to beach and get absolutely sandblasted by the wind. Do a brisk dip of toes in the sea and head back to the car.
11am: The boys want to drive by Dungeness because we always hear good stuff about it. Not gonna lie, I think it might be a bit emperor’s new clothes — it’s not exactly the prettiest place. The Derek Jarman house and garden is brilliant but the massive nuclear power plant isn’t screaming delightful beach retreat. Maybe I’m just hungover and grumpy but I’m not into it. Still take a pic for Insta though.
11.14am: Start the drive back to London. Stop off at a petrol station for petrol and snacks (an absolute driving essential). I have a diet Dr Pepper, mint Aero balls and Tangfastics. W pays for petrol and everyone’s snacks, £77.56 on the joint account.
3.20pm: Arrive back home and have the best welcome a mama could ask for. Going away is brilliant but coming back to him is incomparable. We have a cup of tea with my mum, who gives us the lowdown on everything he’s been up to: park, playtime, gardening, more park, cake-making etc.
3.40pm: Feeling the need for a healthy but homely dinner so we all put shoes on and head to the local Sainos. We get a whole chicken for roasting, baguette, avocado, tomatoes and milk, £11.90 on the joint account.
4pm: M and I visit our tiny veg patch to grab herbs to go into chicken and lettuce leaves for a salad. I love our tiny garden so much, it was such a saviour when I was pregnant. I’m a very anxious person and have struggled with anxiety for years but having our garden to spend time in is a godsend.
6pm: Family dinnertime. I love that M is at an age where he eats what we eat and we can all have dinner together. I grew up with family dinner being a mainstay of our family life and I’m really keen to keep that going with our little unit.
6.40pm: W cleans up while I do bath time for M. We meet on the sofa for family snuggles 40 minutes later.
8pm: Bedtime for M and very shortly afterwards, us. It’s been a manic weekend and work looms so early nights for all. We watch TV in bed ’til we drift off.
Total: £105.06
5.55am: Not a terrible wake-up time but not great either. W brings M into bed as he’s off early so it’s solo parenting this morning. Snuggles and CBeebies for as long as possible.
6.45am: Get myself up and dressed. I’m working from home today so it’s a jeans-and-jumper, casual vibe.
7.45am: Wrestle M into his shoes and pram and head to nursery. It’s only a 10-minute walk round the corner and he loves it so that’s a bonus.
8am: Drop M off waving and head to Tesco on my way back to the house. Pick up wipes, nappies, salmon, sweet potato, broccoli, crisps and milk, £27.80.
8.30am: Put everything away and whack on a load of laundry. It’s sad how much I enjoy working from home to stay on top of housework. For me, a tidy house is a tidy mind and it definitely helps my anxiety.
9.22am: Make my morning latte. We got a Sage machine as a wedding present and it is just fantastic. There’s something about the ritual of making morning coffee that I love. I sit on the back doorstep with my face in the sun for a few minutes, admiring the garden and generally just being grateful. I’m all about the slow moments.
11am: Stare blankly into the fridge for inspiration way longer than is normal, then grab an apple and almond butter to snack on.
1pm: Morning meetings all done. I tend to hyper-fixate on recipes I love and eat them until I hate them so my at-home lunch of the moment is smoked mackerel pâté (random, I know). I blitz mackerel with lemon and sour cream in the Nutribullet, scoop into a bowl and grab a packet of Ryvita Thins to shovel it in.
5.45pm: I’m in the middle of a call that’s overrunning when I suddenly realise the time and have to hurriedly apologise and hang up. Throw on shoes, grab a banana and a pack of raisins and rush round the corner to pick up M. I’m not actually late but he always seems to be the last one to be picked up and I don’t like the idea of him on his own without his pals. He is delighted with his banana and raisins.
6.40pm: Bath time. I love this time in the day because he plays happily with his toys in the bath and sings away and I sit on the bathroom steps and scroll through TikTok. It feels like well-needed downtime for us both.
7.30pm: Make dinner and resist the temptation to pour a glass of wine. I’m trying not to drink Monday to Wednesday, which sounds like a small feat but over lockdown we got into the habit of drinking every day and never really got out of it. I know it’s not great for my anxiety either so I pour a plain tonic instead.
8pm: W comes through the door and manages a quick snuggle with M before he puts him to bed. Dinner on the sofa in front of Netflix. We catch up on each other’s day and then I head upstairs for a bath while W tidies up.
9pm: Sleep.
Total: £27.80
6.22am: Oh hello, lie-in! Well this is delightful, please let this be the new norm. Milk in bed and snuggles, the usual.
6.55am: Action stations as we’re both in the office today. I get M dressed while W showers and then he does breakfast with M while I get ready. Teamwork makes the dream work.
7.40am: I head out a bit earlier today as I have a big presentation at 9am and I want to read through the deck.
8.14am: The usual office coffee routine, one large latte, £3.90.
12pm: Good presentation and client session. I actually love presenting. It still makes me nervous and it never gets less intimidating but I’ve become more sure of myself and I love the challenge of getting typically middle-aged white men to agree with me.
1.47pm: Pop out with a work friend to a local salad place. Grab a Greek salad with extra chicken to go and they shake our bowls like they’re auditioning to be a Kardashian. I also grab a Diet Coke, £11.20.
5.11pm: Pack up a bit early and head round the corner to a spin class. I swear spinning is my religion, I am a fully fledged disciple. I really notice when I’ve not been in a while, it gives me a really good, positive mood reset.
7pm: Leave the spin studio after showering and head home. W is on dinner tonight so I text him my ETA.
7.45pm: Home and greeted by M. There’s just nothing better than his fluffy head nuzzling into you after a long day. I snuggle with him on the sofa for 10 minutes and then take him up to bed.
8.10pm: Dinner is served. W has made butter chicken with rice and naan. He’s such a good cook (annoyingly much better than me) but I do the bulk of the cooking because it takes him half a day to decide what to cook. Saying this, he has this recipe nailed and it’s delicious.
9.15pm: Tea and chocolate eclairs on the sofa and then bed. Absolutely shattered.
Total: £15.10
6.03am: Toddler wake-up call, milk and snuggles in bed, morning routine repeat.
7.10am: Everyone is still lying in bed as both W and I are working from home today (it’s a rare occurrence that we overlap). W jumps in the shower and I get M dressed and throw on clothes myself.
7.30am: Family breakfast: toast for W and M, smoothie and tea for me.
7.55am: It’s nice weather so we decide to do M’s drop-off together. Walk back via our local coffee shop, grab a latte for me and flat white for W, £7.70.
8am: Take a walk around the park. We did this quite a bit when I was on maternity leave and it feels nice to just catch up the two of us before work. We grab tomatoes and bread for lunch, £5.60.
8.30am: Back at home and down to work. We get our heads down for the day and aside from the odd tea offer, we don’t chat until lunch.
1pm: On the dot we break for lunch. I make bruschetta with the tomatoes and bread we bought and pick some basil from the garden. We eat lunch in the garden, soaking up the sun. All that’s missing is an Aperol.
1.25pm: We head back to our respective desks and get our heads down.
5.40pm: W leaves to go and pick up M and I get started on dinner. I’ve defrosted some sausages to make a sausage lentil stew thing, a cupboard/freezer staple in our house. Cobble together and resist the urge to give myself the swig of red wine instead of the stew. Leave on to simmer.
6.15pm: The boys arrive and we have playtime in the garden, soaking up the last of the evening sun. We sit out for a good 30 minutes before W takes M for bath time. I stay outside, answering some emails and catching up with the girls chat.
7pm: Dinner for me and W. We are actually at the table tonight, how grown up! M runs in and out for tiny tastes. I’m so pleased he’s getting a bit more adventurous with trying food after what seems like a lifetime of pesto pasta.
7.40pm: I say goodnight to M early and head upstairs for a bath and a face mask. I decide I’m in need of a pamper so remove old nail varnish while soaking and scrub ’til I’m basically a new woman.
8pm: Order a top off Rixo while I’m browsing in the bath, £95. I also do a baby Zara order for M, who is growing out of his clothes quicker than I can blink, £69.
8.15pm: PJs on and head downstairs where I sit and give myself a mani/pedi. I use a quick-setting clear polish called Seche Vite and honestly, it’s like a gel mani at home. I’ve used it for years and it’s the MVP. I never pay to get my nails done now, instead I do a weekly mani and fortnightly pedi.
8.45pm: Snuggle with W on the sofa with tea and biscuits while he watches some conspiracy documentary.
9.20pm: Nails dried to perfection, time for bed.
Total: £177.30
Food & Drink: £704.44
Clothes & Beauty: £164
Home & Health: £0
Entertainment: £6
Travel: £88.66
Other: £0
Total: £963.10
Conclusion
“Wow, we spent a lot on food and drink. This was a bit of a funny week in that we went away for the weekend so that holiday spending mentality definitely kicked in. It is also a miracle I didn’t have any random Amazon purchases this week. Keeping this diary definitely made me a bit more conscious of what I was spending. It also showed that I really don’t need to spend anything when I’m working from home if I plan a bit better.”
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