Talking about money benefits all of us — and we need to do it more. Join the conversation with Worth More, our 2024 guide to better finances, from navigating savings, debt and relationships to negotiating pay raises and, above all, investing in yourself.
We’re often reluctant to invest in ourselves. Think about the “girl math” trend, and how revealing it has been in showing the lengths women frequently go to when justifying purchases for themselves. Tori Dunlap, founder of Her First 100k and author of Financial Feminist, previously told Refinery29: “We’ve been judged for our spending and we feel guilty any time we spend money on anything.” Spending big on an item or experience for oneself *only* might feel taboo, or even selfish, because of this societal judgement — but sometimes, these purchases are the greatest investments, and putting them off is only going to cost us later down the line, be it financially or otherwise.
Forking out on longer-term, larger-scale costs — such as private therapy, or driving lessons — also isn’t always the most attractive way to spend our money. And yet, these high-commitment purchases can bring on the greatest reward. Below, R29 readers share their most worthy investments to date, from a self-development course to a car. For these women, the value of these things goes beyond their financial cost and is an important investment in themselves.
Anna Berman, 27
Location: London
Pronouns: She/her
Biggest purchase: Secondhand Pendleton Dalby bike
Cost: £350
“Rush hour on the Tube in London was so overwhelming. It was the worst part of my day and I’d be dreading it all day. Getting a bike (a secondhand Pendleton Dalby) suddenly unlocked two hours of my day where I’m not overwhelmed by people, not overstimulated, and it had this mindfulness effect on me because I was just focusing on the road. It also knocks out the gym for me too: This has become my cardio, as each journey I make to and from work is an hour. So I’ve given up that membership, and now I’m not using the Tube as much, the bike long term is actually saving me money.
“The helmet was £35 and my high-vis jacket was £15, and I bought this all at the end of October last year — already I’m seeing the benefits. I have a bad back because of a slipped disc, so I can’t do much cardio. When I tried running, I re-slipped my disc. Cycling and swimming are the only things I can do, and already from three months of cycling my back pain has gone — this is the first time I’ve not been in pain in five years.
“It’s made me feel way more peaceful. The Tube stresses me out — I really hate it. So as well as my physical health improving, my mental health has done too. I get a lot of racing thoughts and when I’m on the bike I find I can still my mind, which is something I always struggle with. It’s been quite liberating — and my friends joke that cycling is my new personality.”
Jess Bantleman, 27
Location: London
Pronouns: She/her
Biggest purchase: Sessions with a personal trainer
Cost: £600 for 12 weeks, then £180 per month
“I was seeing a PT from January to July last year, and I think I’m going to start again soon. I bought a block of sessions that cost £600 initially for 12 weeks, then went to a rolling £180 per month. It was a big investment, both in terms of money and time. The training was done virtually, but I had check ins and support plans, and it was tailored to me having polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS). For example, we focused on low-intensity exercises, factoring in things like yoga, stretches and Pilates to keep my cortisol low. He also helped me tailor my exercises when using weights, so I’d do progressive overload rather than reps.
“I work in health and fitness, so even though I have access to the best PTs and experts, I still felt confused as to what would be the right way to work out for me given the PCOS. I was diagnosed as a teenager, but given no lifestyle management advice. I’ve always been active, but found it hard to get the right balance, so I wanted help to find a fitness routine that was sustainable. My PT kept me accountable, provided structure, and would track my progress.
“For the first time in my life, I felt really strong.”
Jasmine*, 31
Location: London
Pronouns: She/her
Biggest purchase: Appointments with a dermatologist and accutane treatment
Cost: £295 per appointment, then £40 to 60 for treatment per month
“I’ve had acne since I was 13 and it got worse after I finished school. It’s been the bane of my existence. It’s not so much the vanity part of it —obviously it would be nice to have clear skin — but it’s painful and sore. If I sleep ‘wrong’ or pull a face, it will ache. I do cheerleading, and if I fall on my face it really hurts and a spot can pop.
“I work in beauty and in the industry no one seems to have acne, so it can be isolating. When I turned 30 I decided I’m going to take care of this once and for all — acne can’t be cured, only managed. I went to see Dr Anjali Mahto, who is a dermatologist I’d always wanted to see as she actively has acne herself and is a person of colour (like me), so I felt very safe in her hands.
“Seeing her costs £295 per appointment, and I do that whenever my bank account lets me, which is usually every two or so months. The medication seems to differ depending on where you go, but I usually spend £40 to 60 per month on accutane. I could go through the NHS for this, but I’ve heard waiting lists are long, and I thought my acne wouldn’t be deemed ‘severe’ enough. I also wanted an expert holding my hand through every stage, and to be able to check in with them when I have questions.
“My mental health has been better for it, and it’s nice to wake up and not have to see a new spot I had to take care of. I feel neutral about my skin, I’m not skin positive or negative.”
Marcela Salisbury, 35
Location: London
Pronouns: She/her
Biggest purchase: Self-development course
Cost: £400
“For five months in my spare time after work in 2022, I was studying an online life-planned course. I’m Brazilian, living in the UK, and the course was taught in Portuguese. It helped me create a blueprint that I now use all the time, both in work and in my life outside.
“It helped me work out what my core values are, and where my life isn’t aligned with that. I’d been saying for a long time that Japan was my dream travel destination, but I’d made no effort to make it happen. The course gave me a sense of urgency, so I began saving and planning, and now I’m going to Japan this year. Without the course, I probably wouldn’t be going. I’m more strategic now.”
Polly Parkin, 28
Location: London
Pronouns: She/her
Biggest purchase: Regular BIAB (builder in a bottle) nails
Cost: £60 to 80 every five weeks
“It’s an investment of £60 to 80 each time (depending on the nail art I get) every five or so weeks, but it makes me feel more confident about having my hands out. I was a serial nail-biter when I’d feel anxious, but now I invest in my nails and have been for about a year and a half, it makes me stop picking at them so much. Now I’m much more confident having my hands on show, and in general find it boosts how I feel about myself.
“It’s also become a creative outlet in how I choose the nail art, and it’s nice to feel like I’m doing something for myself. It’s superficial, but I no longer hide my hands.”
Ata-Owaji Victor, 25
Location: London
Pronouns: She/her
Biggest purchase: A car
Cost: £3,100
“My car is a him and I’ve called him Mike. I took a long time to pass my test because I have dyspraxia (a developmental coordination disorder, affecting movement) and learning difficulties, but this is also why I like to drive instead of getting trains. People said my secondhand car was too expensive when I bought him outright for £3,100, but he’s still running today over six years later.
“I grew up on the edge of London so transport links were always an issue throughout my teens — there was never a bus or train to get me the whole way home if I went into London. It was frustrating, not to mention the safety issues of that, and it was getting very expensive to often need to pay for cabs. I also would miss out on social events because I’d be looking at my watch the whole time, worried about how to get home. Having a car, because I don’t really drink, means I don’t need to worry about that anymore and it’s really helped me enjoy my social life.
“My car really helped during university when, because of my learning difficulties, there were lots of new things to take in but public transport wasn’t one because I could drive. It took a burden off my shoulders and has been a passport to freedom.
“Even if I have to pay £15 to park somewhere, I’d be spending more than that on cabs and trains.”
Kira*, 29
Location: London
Pronouns: She/her
Biggest purchase: Private therapy
Cost: £45 per week
“I’ve been spending £45 per session each week for just over a year and am still in therapy now. I’m such a big advocate for therapy and honestly think everyone should have it at least once in their lives. It might not be as glossy as a gym membership, but mental health and physical health go hand in hand for me.
“Therapy has changed my life for the better — I’ve been able to learn more about why I am the way that I am, how I love, how I interact and why I think certain things. It’s given me self-awareness I didn’t have before. It’s also good to have an outlet that isn’t friends and family. It’s been an investment in myself and allowed me to sit with my thoughts, and ultimately to better myself.”
Meck Xayavongsa, 32
Location: Dallas, US
Pronouns: She/her
Biggest purchase: Roomba
Cost: on sale for $200 (approx. £158)
“I hate cleaning and the Roomba is great because I can schedule the time and days for it to vacuum the whole apartment. I usually do it on days when I know I’ll be out of the house, so it saves me time and means I don’t have to vacuum. I still need to mop and do other chores but without needing to vacuum, it frees up time to focus on other things.
“It’s improved my day to day because it’s one less thing to worry about. Having a Roomba makes the other cleaning I have to do bearable.”
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