Trigger warning: Reference to infant loss.
This week: “I’m 36 years old and currently two months into my maternity leave (on statutory maternity pay). Me and my husband, R, moved into our home five years ago and we got very lucky as we remortgaged on a five-year fixed rate in 2020 when interest rates were super low. We’ve been together for 12 years, and married for four. We’ve had a rollercoaster few years of pregnancies, losses and finally bringing home our rainbow baby. Because of all this, career and pay progression hasn’t been a priority for me at all. My salary has stayed the same for over five years, although I did drop to a four-day week a couple of years ago for the same monthly pay. I do occasionally worry I’ve fallen behind with my career, and I think I’ll have a bit of a career focus after my maternity leave has finished. But for now, I am just really enjoying my leave and our lovely, lovely baby.”
Occupation: Account manager
Industry: Marketing
Age: 36
Location: Buckinghamshire
Salary: £37,500 (for a four day week)
Paycheque Amount: £2,225
Number of housemates: two (my husband R and our baby L)
Pronouns: she/ her
Monthly Expenses
Housing costs: £460 for my half of our mortgage.
Loan payments: None
Savings?: £1,700 (but I’m giving myself £200 a month to supplement my maternity pay so this is rapidly decreasing!)
Utilities: £41 internet, £200 gas and electric, £20 building and contents insurance, £13 TV licence, £118 life and critical illness insurance (although have just removed the critical illness part of this, so it’ll be going down to £22 next month). These are all paid from our joint account. R pays separately for our council tax and water. Then I pay £30 pet insurance.
Pension? Yep, a few different ones from various past jobs that I occasionally try and fail to merge! I put in 3% and my employer puts in 5%. I worry a lot about my pension.
All other monthly payments: £45 phone bill, £3.49 Ring doorbell, £15 car tax.
Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it? I did a degree in marketing. My student loan covered my tuition, and my parents very kindly paid my rent. I worked part time in my final year.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money?
I wouldn’t say we spoke about a lot, but we’ve always been encouraged to save. I had a comfortable upbringing, my parents didn’t have loads of money when we were young but we never noticed, and we loved the camping holidays!
If you have, when did you move out of your parents’/guardians’ house?
At 18 to go to uni, then again properly at 24 when I bought my first home.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself? Does anyone else cover any aspects of your financial life?
Age 24. My husband is obviously contributing a lot more financially at the moment while I am on maternity pay.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
A retail job in 16. I loved it! I used the money for clothes, nights out and holidays.
Do you worry about money now?
Yes, a lot. I feel really lucky to be on the housing ladder and able to afford nice food, but I worry a lot about the future and retirement.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income?
My parents gifted me £10,000 as a deposit towards my first home. I honestly don’t know how I’d have ever bought without their help. I also received £12,000 when my grandparents passed away, with instructions to use it on the house. We replaced our old, tired bathroom and did our driveway.
5 a.m. — R comes in to take L downstairs while I catch up on a couple of hours sleep. R is sleeping in the spare room at the minute. I miss him being in bed with me but it’s the best way at the moment for us all to get some sleep.
8:30 a.m. — R brings L up for a feed and makes me a delicious oat milk latte.
9 a.m. — Head downstairs and make me and R poached eggs on toast, before we all get dressed and head out on a dog walk.
10 a.m. — Have a lovely long walk over the fields which gives pup a good chance to run about and burn some energy! He’s an almost-two-year-old Labrador so has plenty to burn.
11:30 a.m. — Stop off at the little Tesco and R gets a pork pie and sourdough bread for our ploughman’s lunch.
12:30 p.m. — We set out ham, bread, chutney, cheese, pickled onions and the pork pie on a big chopping board — such a good lunch!
2:30 p.m. — Luxuriate in a long hot shower where I wash my hair and exfoliate. Get out and put on a face mask and leave-in conditioner. I like to think this helps counteract the lack of sleep.
4 p.m. — Do some dinner prep. I’m doing Indian tonight, so I marinade some chicken for the curry and make the onion bhaji batter.
5 p.m. — Watch Married at First Sight Australia while having snuggles with L.
7:30 p.m. — Eat our dinner (black pepper chicken curry, onion bhajis and pershwari naan) and watch The Gentlemen on Netflix. We love it!
8:15 p.m. — I’m hoping for an early night tonight so R sorts out downstairs while I get L ready for a bath. R comes up for bath time then heads off to the spare room and me and L have snuggles and lots of feeds in bed.
9:15 p.m. — Put L down to sleep. He wakes five minutes later.
9:40 p.m. — Try again. He wakes two minutes later.
10:15 p.m. — We both sleep! (Until the first feed which ends up being just one and a half hours later.)
Total: £0
8:15 a.m. — Another rough night’s sleep, but I’m feeling okay — maybe I’m just starting to get used to it! L is actually our second baby. We had a baby girl previously, but she passed away when she was just a few weeks old. There’s no sugar coating it, but if there’s any silver lining it’s that I feel so grateful and lucky to have a healthy baby at home, and it can sometimes make the tough parts a little easier.
9:30 a.m. — Head out for a dog walk. I have L in the sling as he normally naps the whole walk but today seems wide awake! I was worried about managing a dog and baby, but the walks are one of my favourite parts of the day, and do wonders for my mental and physical health.
11 a.m. — Do a few house chores and make myself look slightly more presentable. I’m trying to master L’s daytime naps, and apparently should be aiming for a long nap around lunchtime, so I settle us down on the sofa.
11 a.m. — L’s not having any of it today so I give up. I have a parcel I offered to return for R, so I drive to Waitrose and walk 20 minutes to the post office assuming L will nap. Spoiler: he doesn’t. Send the parcel, £4.95.
1:20 p.m. — Stop off at the pet shop and pick up a few bones for pup, £3.65.
1:45 p.m. — Get back to Waitrose and buy a couple of bits we need: oat milk, coffee, coriander and rice, £8.65.
2 p.m. — L finally falls asleep just as I’m leaving Waitrose, so I use it as an excuse to walk over to Dobbies. Don’t think I’d ever been in a Dobbies until I came on maternity leave and now, I can’t seem to get enough of it! I enjoy a ginger beer and slice of carrot cake while L sleeps. I also get a Bakewell slice to take away for R, as they’re his favourite, £9.05.
5 p.m. — I have a lovely afternoon nap in our bed with L (safely bed sharing) and feel quite refreshed.
7 p.m. — R makes veggie bolognese for dinner. We try and do at least one vegetarian dinner each week. L is a bit cross this evening so we take it in turns to eat.
8:30 p.m. — A lovely early bedtime for us! I read in bed for approximately three minutes before falling asleep.
Total: £26.30
5:30 a.m. — R comes in to take L down. I stay in bed for another couple of hours.
7:30 a.m. — Head downstairs to join them, feed L and have a coffee and peanut butter on toast. Order a couple of new nursing bras from H&M as I’m sick of my very shapeless ones, £25.
9 a.m. — R is off to the gym this morning, and I meet up with a neighbour and her dog and we do a nice circular loop through fields. Our dogs are best friends and it’s SO cute.
11 a.m. — Me, R and L are off to Costco, which I am far too excited for. We are going under the guise of looking for garden furniture but as expected we get sidetracked in the food section. End up buying a tomahawk steak, rump steaks, a load of chicken, prawns, lots of fruit and a sticky toffee cake (R pays). This is a lot but we are stocked up on meat for weeks now so our weekly shop should be cheaper. The tomahawk was a bit of a splurge but looks amazing! And we figure it’s still cheaper than a takeaway.
2 p.m. — Get home and chill on the sofa reading my book (The Year of the Locust) while L naps on me, lovely!
3 p.m. — Portion up all our Costco meat into labelled freezer bags, feel super organised.
7 p.m. — We make the best dinner. R slathers the tomahawk with garlic butter, puts it in the oven then finishes it off on the BBQ. I make sweet potato chips and asparagus with lemon and parmesan.
8 p.m. — Eat dinner on the sofa and watch The Jungle Book.
9:30 p.m. — Bedtime.
Total: £25
8 a.m. — Wake up after an unusually good night’s sleep (even got a six-hour stretch at one point!). Head downstairs for coffee and cereal.
9:30 a.m. — Head out on a dog walk in the sunshine. I take L in the baby carrier 99% of the time and he naps the whole way round.
10:30 a.m. — Get back and L is still asleep! Keep him in the carrier and scroll my phone for a while and eat some more sticky toffee cake. Decide I should make the most of the long nap and do a few bits round the house.
11 a.m. — Decide to jet-wash the patio, which I’ve been meaning to do for ages. Spend 10 minutes making very slow progress then realise I’ve not turned the tap on! Turn it on and get to work, takes about 15 minutes and it looks so much better. I didn’t realise how filthy it was.
1 p.m. — Make a quick lunch of cheese and cherry tomatoes on toast.
2 p.m. — Meet up with a friend and her baby, but it’s a bit of a disaster. We planned to sit in a pub garden but when we get there, we find they are closed for training! We decide to walk 20 minutes down the canal to the next pub, but 10 minutes in we have to turn back as the path really isn’t pushchair friendly. Get back to our cars and drive to the next pub and sit in the garden. I go up to get some drinks before realising they are also closed. We end up walking to a shop and getting Soleros, worth it in the end! I pay for both, £3.80.
5 p.m. — A friend of ours used to clean our house twice a month before I went on maternity leave, and we’ve just asked her to start up again once a month. Very much a luxury but it’s something I’ve been struggling with in the newborn madness, so I’m very grateful we can do this. It’s also lovely to see our friend so we have a good catch up when she arrives! R pays.
7 p.m. — Make dinner for me and R — tonight it’s sea bass, pesto new potatoes and asparagus. We eat on the sofa and watch the first half of Cruella.
9 p.m. — Bedtime!
Total: £3.80
8:30 a.m. — L is having a lovely lie in. I end up waking him up as I worry it’ll mess up his routine (which is ridiculous as we have no routine). Have coffee and crumpets for breakfast.
10 a.m. — Lovely sunny dog walk which takes me right past my new favourite place, Dobbies, but I manage to resist!
11:30 a.m. — Pop L on his play mat and give my hair a much-needed wash. He weirdly loves watching me dry it, so that works well.
12:30 p.m. — Quick lunch of butternut squash tortellini with pesto and roast kale (trying to get a bit more veg into my lunches!).
1:30 p.m. — My friend arrives. We are working on a bit of a joint business venture, and we have a call at 2 p.m. with our website developer. L is a dream and sleeps throughout the call! We leave the call feeling excited as we’ve been working on this for months and looks like our website will be live next week.
3 p.m. — R gets home and we play with L for a while. He’s at such a cute age and getting so chatty! I leave them to it and build our garden storage box that arrived yesterday. I’m normally useless at this kind of thing but I surprise us all and get it finished.
6 p.m. — Make a start on dinner. It’s a butternut squash and red lentil curry tonight.
8 p.m. — Finish off Cruella and head up for an early night.
Total: £0
7:30 a.m. — Me and L wake up after a pretty good night (only two wakes!). Head down and have coffee and cereal.
9 a.m. — Pup seems a bit floppy today, and doesn’t eat his breakfast, which has literally never happened before. Don’t think he’s turned down food at all in his life! We go for a gentle stroll and he seems to perk up a bit. Walk past the fancy houses near us on the golf course, love imagining living in one of them!
10:45 a.m. — Take L to get his third set of vaccinations, which I’ve been dreading. They’re quick though and he’s easily soothed with some cuddles. So relieved that’s them done for a while now.
11 a.m. — I’m off to meet a friend and her baby for lunch. I swing by the garage on the way to swap over a gas bottle for our BBQ, but they’re sold out. A glimmer of sun and upcoming bank holiday weekend means everyone is getting BBQ ready.
12 p.m. — Meet my friend at a pub halfway between where we both live. It’s definitely not what you’d call a “foodie” pub and I have a Diet Coke and very average plate of vegan chilli nachos, £12.50. It’s lovely to catch up with my friend, we’ve not met up in a few months so have lots to catch up on. I do worry all we talk about now is stuff to do with our babies though!
2 p.m. — Swing via Dobbies on the way back (any excuse!) to try for barbecue gas. The lady on the tills is lovely and entertains a grizzly L while we get it sorted. Total comes to £55 (ouch), but should last us a couple of years.
3 p.m. — Set up on the sofa for lots of cuddles with L, who’s super sleepy after his jabs. I’ve got all my essentials though — coffee, cake and MAFS. Order a personalised card for an upcoming birthday, £8.99.
5 p.m. — L wakes and R gets home from his after-work gym session. We chat while he has a snack (peri chicken and a salad with tomato and feta).
7 p.m. — I make a start on dinner. We get a Simply Cook box once a month and I’ve been really impressed with the recipes. Making a chicken makhani tonight, with rice and naan. Really regret not picking up a bottle of wine when I was out today.
8 p.m. — R and I watch another episode of The Gentlemen, really enjoying it.
Total: £76.49
9 a.m. — L naps on me on the sofa for 40 minutes so I make a start on the new season of Selling Sunset (omg, the drama).
11 a.m. — Have a BBQ breakfast with R and his friend who’s over for the day. We make our own version of sausage McMuffins.
1:30 p.m. — Drive 30 minutes with L to meet my sister and nephew. We go to the best gelato place. I get half a scoop of hazelnut and half a scoop of birthday cake. Incredible, £3.25.
2 p.m. — We walk down to a playground near the river. My sister stays on a bench with L while me and my nephew spend a lot of time going down the big slide!
3 p.m. — Back to the gelato place to pick up a cookie dough billionaire slice and a Biscoff brownie for R and his friend, £6.50.
3:15 p.m. — Stop off in the most random shop that sells a bit of everything. My nephew chooses two packs of stickers, £1.90.
4 p.m. — We walk past lots of people drinking in pub gardens and get jealous, so my sister invites us back to hers for a glass of wine in the garden, which is lovely! While there we video call my parents (who are on holiday in France).
6 p.m. — Stop via Tesco on our way home to get our Click and Collect food shop. I can’t be trusted to do an in-person shop, I’m such a sucker for random impulse purchases. £132 from the joint account, (£66 for my half).
6:15 p.m. — Me and R unpack the shopping while his friend keeps L entertained.
7 p.m. — I make dinner for us all — sweet chilli chicken thighs, pitta bread, hummus, halloumi and salad, plus a large glass of sauvignon blanc for me! Really regret not also buying myself a cake.
8 p.m. — Watch some more Selling Sunset. These houses are ridiculous, what do you actually do with that many rooms?
9 p.m. — In bed with L for feeds and cuddles and (finally) sleep.
Total: £77.65
Food & Drink: £109.75
Clothes & Beauty: £25
Home & Health: £58.65
Entertainment: £0
Travel: £0
Other: £15.84
Total: £209.24
Conclusion
“I really enjoyed doing this, partly as it gave my brain something to focus on while on maternity leave. I’m not at all surprised that nearly all the money was on food or food-related items as that’s literally all I do at the moment! Reading it back makes me feel pleased that I’m making the most of my maternity leave with all the coffee and cake dates — we’ve waited a long time for this so I want to enjoy it all.”
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