Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last penny.

If you’d like to submit your own Money Diary then please do send a bit of information about you and your situation to moneydiary@refinery29.uk. We pay £100 for each published diary. Apologies but we’re not able to reply to every email.

This week: “I’m a 33-year-old freelance writer living near Bristol. I live with my partner, J, and our angry but cute cat. We moved here almost two years ago because we could afford to buy here and my family is nearby. I’ve only started taking money more seriously in the last five years. I actually wrote a diary six years ago and was in a completely different place: I lived in London with a toxic boy, had more jobs than most people have changes of clothes, had no savings, little income and was miserable. Since breaking up with that lad and subsequently meeting J, I’ve got my act together. I got my first job as a full-time copywriter in 2019 and I’ve managed to save for the first time. I started to have problems with my health around the same time, though, and eventually went freelance a couple of years later. Pre-COVID, J and I lived and worked in London. When lockdown hit we moved in with our parents, which helped us save our deposit for our house.”

Occupation: Freelance writer
Industry: Marketing
Age: 33
Location: Southwest England
Salary: Last tax year (ending April 2024), I earned just over £36k pre-tax. The year before, it was £50k. I’m expecting something between those figures for this coming year.
Paycheque amount: Again, it varies month to month depending when invoices fall. Last year there were a couple of months where I earned nothing and a couple where I earned £5k. Generally I can cover my expenses every month regardless of when invoices are paid.
Number of housemates: One human (my boyfriend, J) and one cat.
Pronouns: She/her

Monthly Expenses

Housing costs: Our mortgage is £1,380 and we each pay half. We both pay £1,000 into our joint account monthly to cover the mortgage, electricity, council tax, water, internet, sofa finance (on 0% interest) and any other expenses that come up.
Loan payments: I’ve got a student loan which I pay around 9% on any earnings over a certain amount when I do my tax return. I save money for tax and student loan from each invoice.
Pension? I pulled all but one of my pensions from my previous jobs together into one and there’s about £7.5k in there. If I have some extra cash I’ll contribute, but it’s not high on the priority list right now. I’ve got another pension somewhere but not sure how much is in there.
Savings? £3,000 in my personal savings account, plus about £800 excess in the joint account that technically counts. I wiped out my savings when we bought the house. Shortly after, my health got worse and the market dipped so work has been slow enough that I’ve just about made enough to cover the bills and not save much on top.
Utilities: £30 water, £54 internet and TV, £130 electric, £128 council tax (this all comes out of the joint account).
All other monthly payments: £11 house insurance, £23 pet insurance (joint account again). £8 phone, £100 private health insurance. I’ve also got two 0% credit cards that I’m gradually paying off (most of the balance is from over five years ago when I had no money) — the minimum payments each month usually come to about £150. Subscriptions: £7.99 Xbox Game Pass, £9.99 Kindle Unlimited, £9.99 Apple storage (paid individually); £17.75 for my half of Netflix, Disney+ and Amazon Prime.

Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
I went to university and got student loans and the maximum maintenance grant to pay for it. I think my parents helped me out here and there and I worked sporadically as well. 

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money?
We didn’t really talk about money. I had a bank account from a young age but that was about it. Both my parents are spenders and this probably rubbed off on me: I was the kid that would spend her birthday money and not save anything. My dad hides it better but my memory of money growing up was not really having any extra because we’d spend it. Things were tight for my parents for a while after that but they seem more comfortable now.

If you have, when did you move out of your parents’/guardians’ house?
I moved out to go to university at 18 but came back for holidays. I moved out “properly” when I finished uni at 21 and moved in with my then boyfriend.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself? Does anyone else cover any aspects of your financial life?
I was mostly financially responsible at 21 when I got my first grown-up job. But a few years after that were a bit muddy. For a few years in my mid-twenties I suffered really badly with my mental health and couldn’t work, so I relied on my then boyfriend. After breaking up with him I had nothing (no savings, no income, no plan) so my parents helped me out by letting me stay with them for free and paying the rental deposit on a place when I moved back to London. When I moved out and got the deposit back, I paid them back. During COVID, J and I lived with our parents and because they knew we wanted to buy a house, they wouldn’t let us pay any rent. We moved out when I was 30 and rented somewhere for a year before buying so that’s when I (most recently) became financially responsible for myself again.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
I started waitressing for our school chef (he did functions outside of school) when I was 14. We got paid quite well — I remember him handing us crisp £50 notes for eight hours’ work.

Do you worry about money now?
Yes and no. I’ve achieved something I never would have thought possible seven years ago in buying a house without any parental help (other than the free rent, which is very appreciated) so I’m less worried about it long term than I used to be. But being a chronically ill freelancer means lots of ups and downs. Some months it’s a stretch to cover all the bills and demand is quite dependent on what the market is doing. I’d like to build up a bigger emergency fund to cover quieter times but my health seems to keep getting in the way. I think if I was well all the time, it wouldn’t be as much of a worry.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income?
When my great gran died when I was a child, she left £300 in bonds for me, which I think my nan gave me when we bought our house. My grandad also left me £1,000, which I put towards the deposit.

Day One

9:45 a.m. — Have a bit of a lie-in as it’s Sunday. My boyfriend, J, and I are going over to my parents’ house this morning to have brunch. Have a shower and get ready to go, bringing my tracksuit bottoms with me in case I need them (bad period cramps).

11 a.m. — We get to my parents’ and start cooking brunch. We got my dad the Dishoom bacon naan roll kits for his birthday a couple of weeks ago. I get the chai going while Dad and J cook the bacon, then we work together to cook the naan dough.

12 p.m. — Sit down to eat and it’s a pretty good version of the breakfast you’d get at Dishoom. I had a massive tooth out (not joking — the dentist said it was a monster) last week and have been having quite a lot of pain so this is the first non-mushy meal I’ve had in a while. It hurts to chew but it’s tasty so I push through.

2 p.m. — We’ve sorted through some stuff from my parents’ garage and worked out what we’re going to take home. About two years ago, my parents moved out of my childhood home, around the same time J and I bought our house. Apparently, now that I live in a bigger house with more storage space, aI have to keep my sentimental crap in my own loft (the cheek).

2:30 p.m. — Drive to my nan’s with the intention of picking up a massive indoor plant she’s been growing for me for a few years. It’s nice to see her and she recently had to give up driving (hopefully temporarily) so it’s good for her to have visitors. For some reason, I only now think to check if the plant is okay to have with a cat and apparently it’s not. So it will stay in my nan’s conservatory jungle for the foreseeable.

3:30 p.m. — Speed around Sainsbury’s getting some stuff for lunches and dinners this week. Food has been awkward for a few days with my tooth hole so we get stuff that can be made soft, plus yoghurt, juice, meat for J, bread and some other bits. All our shared expenses like this go on the joint credit card that we pay off at the end of each month, £40.11.

3:40 p.m. —While J checks out, I go to TK Maxx to pick up some art we ordered. I also find J a salt container and get a vase to hopefully fit the Lego flowers I made last week. It’s a home purchase so another joint one, £3 for my half.

3:50 p.m. — On the way out, we get some petrol, £26.08.

4 p.m. — The weather is finally starting to improve and we’ve got a BBQ tentatively planned for a couple of weeks’ time so we do some garden stuff. We didn’t really touch it last year but now we’ve got the house the way we want it, it’s time to dedicate some energy to outside.

6.40 p.m. — Get started on dinner. We’re making up a recipe for veggie pasta sauce as I feel like I’ve been living on beige foods and need some goodness. J is a great cook and brilliant at making stuff up, whereas I’m more of a recipe follower, so he tends to be head chef.

7.30 p.m. — After eating, I move our small supply of alcohol and some cookbooks into our new bookcase, then order a wine rack to make the space more efficient, £11.50.

11 p.m. — Sleep.

Total: £80.69

Day Two

10.30 a.m. — Have my breakfast of Ready Brek and a coffee. Miss my usual crunchy, delicious cornflakes. 

11 a.m. — Reply to some emails then go through LinkedIn, Slack and Discord to look for freelance opportunities. I started working for myself out of necessity when my health got too bad to handle a full-time job a few years ago. I quickly discovered I really enjoy it and it works much better for me but it is slowwwww at the moment. A recent flare of constant migraine attacks has meant I haven’t been looking for new work as much as I should have been so I’m somewhat scrabbling now.

3 p.m. — I’ve enquired about a bunch of freelance opportunities and sent a couple of cold emails so now it’s time to wait and see if anything comes back. Make a tuna mayo sandwich for lunch. I squash the tuna to make it as smooth as possible and slice cucumber very thin. Eat while I watch Gilmore Girls.

3:30 p.m. — Back to my desk. Send some chasers out to people I asked about work last week and write something on LinkedIn. I HATE LinkedIn but it’s annoyingly important to have a presence there to get work. Add some people who are looking for copywriters.

4:45 p.m. — Okay, now I’ve spent more than half an hour on LinkedIn looking for people saying they want a copywriter, sending messages and liking stuff. I feel a bit sad. But I’ve had a conversation with someone about a potential gig so progress? Think it’s time for a snack. 

5:30 p.m. — Quick look at Vinted and buy a T-shirt dress that’ll hopefully work as an oversized tee on my tall frame. It was £4 plus fees but I’ve got credit from selling some bits so it’s technically free?

6:30 p.m. — I’ve got two weddings coming up this year and as they’re different friendship groups I can wear the same dress to both. There’s an Abercrombie dress I LOVE and they do tall sizing. I see this year’s version is in stock in my size so I order it and another option that’s in their sale. This is the most I’ve ever spent on a dress (well, two, but I’ll send at least one back) but I’ve fallen in love and will hopefully wear it loads, £144.99.

7 p.m. — I put some trees from our garden on Facebook Marketplace earlier and I’ve had 30 messages! Reply to them all and arrange for one person to come round tomorrow and another the following day. Then do some googling for inspo on what to fill the garden with when the trees are gone.

8 p.m. — I warm up some gnocchi with last night’s pasta sauce for another soft meal, while J makes a veg and meatball traybake. We eat while watching The Office (it’s our show of the moment). Then we do some gaming with our friends online.

10:30 p.m. — My tooth hole starts to hurt so I only play one game before I go to bed with a hot water bottle. Watch Gilmore Girls until going to sleep.

Total: £144.99

Day Three

8:45 a.m. — Alarm goes off but snoooooozzzzzeee.

10:30 a.m. — Make some Ready Brek (really done with this sludge) and a coffee. A lady comes over to dig up one of the trees. They’re quite big and probably would be expensive to buy but I put them up for free in exchange for someone digging them out. This sweet lady has brought her friends who all tell her there’s no way they can pull out the biggest one that she wants and she’ll have to choose some others. I think she’s my spirit animal.

2 p.m. — I’ve been replying to emails, writing LinkedIn posts, sending cold messages and petting the cat. I’ve got a meeting booked in with a potential client for later, a brief I need to submit a proposal for and hopefully another lead or two. Break to make some soup that I don’t really fancy. 

2:30 p.m. — The electrician comes round to fix the fan in our bathroom. We had to have our bathroom redone last year after the ancient shower stopped working and the fan the company supplied was faulty. He’ll send the bill to the company as it was their problem so nothing for us to pay.

3:30 p.m. — I’ve got a call in half an hour but decide that now is the best time to wash my hair. I’m my own worst enemy. Do my skincare (BeautyPie Japan Fusion face wash and mist, Paula’s Choice for whiteheads, Olay eye cream and a BeautyPie moisturiser) and manage to dry my fringe before my call.

4:30 p.m. — The guy doesn’t have his camera on so there was no need to rush and make myself presentable. I think it goes well — he has some copywriting work he needs help with and my experience seems relevant but I’ve learned you never really know until they sign a contract (or even pay a deposit, tbf). Finish drying my hair and wipe off my lipstick. Then back to my desk where I book in a meeting with an old work pal who might need some freelance help at her new job. 

6 p.m. — Eat a banana then head to B&Q. We need to work out what to do with the garden once the trees are out as we’ll have a blank border. We browse the plants and get some ideas but they all look pretty dead so we don’t buy any. We do grab a garden fork in preparation for the digging, £11.

6:45 p.m. — We then go to M&S Food to drop off some parcels and get me some soft stuff for dinner (and some cookies cos M&S), £9.45

6:45 p.m. — J makes another meatball veg bake while I heat up my bolognese and greens from Marks. I don’t usually eat this much pasta but it seems to be the only thing my healing mouth can handle at the moment.

8 p.m. — Eat dinner while watching The Office and have a cookie for dessert. Migrate to the office to play Helldivers 2 with our friends online. At one point, the cat sits on J’s lap (which is cute as he’s not usually one for lap cuddles) and distracts us for a little while.

11 p.m. — Gilmore Girls, then sleep.

Total: £20.45

Day Four

8:40 a.m. — I’m woken up five minutes before my alarm by little feet and a fluffy body plonking himself on my back. I move the cat off to take my morning tablets so he decides to share my pillow instead. Snooze ‘til 9 a.m. then get up and feed him.

9:10 a.m. — Another person comes round to try and dig out the trees. I thought they were a guy and being a bit creepy over message so I ask J to answer the door. Turns out it’s a lovely lady so now the emoji make sense! She gets one tree out then says she’ll come back with reinforcements for the others.

10 a.m. — Changing it up with breakfast of Weetabix and hot milk, plus my usual Nespresso coffee. Eat while reading a Money Diary, then check all of my usual business channels and reply to some comments on LinkedIn.

1:15 p.m. — This morning I made an Instagram post for my business account, sorted out a bit of work for a client and replied to some enquiries. I break to make a ham and pink coleslaw sandwich and have it with a decaf coffee. 

1:50 p.m. — Summer’s almost here and I need a top-up of my go-to anti-chub rub balm. I’ve tried a few and swear by Body Glide Anti Chafe Balm but it’s so expensive on Amazon. I end up getting it directly from the company with a 10% code so it comes to £16.48. One stick seems to last a year so I won’t need to buy another for a little while.

2 p.m. — I’ve gone dizzy. This happens sometimes (I was basically dizzy for the entirety of January) and is either a migraine symptom or a vestibular migraine on its own. Take some meds, drink some juice and eat some Nutella and bread. Follow that with an M&S chocolate pancake (sometimes sugar helps) as I’m supposed to leave for an appointment soon. At 20 past I’m still dizzy and won’t be able to drive so I send an email to reschedule. 

3 p.m. — Lie down to try and nap it off.

6 p.m. — I feel better, if a bit delicate. However, my period that ended a couple of days ago seems to have restarted(?). I also see a client has published a blog that I wrote, which is great but they haven’t paid me for the work yet so they technically don’t own the copyright — interesting move. I was waiting to invoice them on two projects at once but decide to send this one separately and do it right away.

6:40 p.m. — See an ad for Uniqlo and have a quick look. Put off by the sizing — I’m sorry, Uniqlo, in what world is a size 16 XXL? 

7:10 p.m. — I always crave salty, carby food when I’ve got a migraine so we decide to get takeaway from a local BBQ place. There’s a £5 off promo and J is doing the free Uber One trial so it’s £18.09 each. I get a hot dog and J gets a burger and chips, then we share mac and cheese and burned ends. So good. 

9 p.m. — Have some ice cream in front of The Office before playing some online games. We keep losing tonight and it’s very frustrating.

11 p.m. — Same as usual, Gilmore Girls then bed. Anyone else not a fan of Logan?

Total: £34.57

Day Five

9 a.m. — Alarm goes off and snooze for a bit. Make breakfast: Weetabix with yoghurt and raspberries (slowly getting back to pre-tooth extraction food), which I have with a coffee. J goes off to the dentist while I reply to some work messages.

11 a.m. — Have a call with my work bestie from one of my previous jobs. We both left around the same time, me when I went freelance, and we’ve worked together on a couple of things since. She recently got a new job and wants me to do some work for the company. I love that she’s thought of me and it’s a bonus that we get to catch up and work together again. We speak for over an hour, mostly about life but a little about work too.

12:30 p.m. — Review some info from a potential client and work out a quote for the work (it’s the guy from earlier in the diary who didn’t have his camera on). This is my least favourite part — it’s so easy to price yourself too high or too low. I ask J his thoughts and mull. Pop outside and see the lady from yesterday has come back and managed to get the tree out — woohoo! 

1 p.m. — Do some more work. A company I wrote for at the end of last year has unfortunately closed. It’s really sad as it was a great idea and I loved working with them. Feel a bit bummed out as I screenshot everything to make sure I’ve got copies for my portfolio when everything is wound down.

2 p.m. — Make a cheese and coleslaw sandwich, which I have with a decaf coffee. Read Money Diaries while I eat, then get back to work. I start on an article that’s on a pretty fun topic and put in some requests for sources on a couple of different websites.

3 p.m. — Bite the bullet and send the quote to No Camera Guy, then try to distract myself with the article. He comes back positively but negotiates a little. I budge a bit and send my reply. Have a chocolate pancake.

4:10 p.m. — Oh boy, I’m dizzy again. Take some tablets and start a bath running (this is another thing that helps sometimes). While it runs, I call the hospital to check on an appointment I’m waiting on but haven’t received a letter for. 

5:30 p.m. — I’ve soaked and read my book for a little while and feel better. Go back to my desk and see No Camera Guy agreed to my price — yay! I’m super excited as it’s a fun project and a decent chunk of work. I always ask for a deposit upfront from new clients so send him the invoice. Annoyingly, I haven’t heard from the client I sent the invoice to yesterday — I’m waiting for him to confirm he got it and give me feedback on another piece I wrote. I’ve chased a couple of times but guess I’ll have to do another chaser tomorrow.

6:30 p.m. — I’m feeling icky still and don’t know what to eat. Settle for chucking a burrito from Costco in the air fryer. Watch Gilmore Girls until J joins me, then we switch to The Office.

11 p.m. — Sleep.

Total: £0

Day Six

9 a.m. — My alarm goes off. I wake up and feel like I’m going to get a migraine today. Stay in bed for a bit, then have breakfast and coffee.

11 a.m. — Doing business admin. Send a contract to my new client (No Camera Guy), reply to some emails and chase the guy I’m waiting on feedback for. He replies and says he’s happy so I send over the invoice. It’ll be nice to get some cash in as I haven’t had any invoices out for a few weeks. Then I edit some email copy for another client. 

12 p.m. — J comes back from the hygienist, shocked by the £150 price tag. He has to have some other work done, which could be up to £1,200 in the future. 

1:30 p.m. — Here comes the migraine. Start to feel sick, dizzy and generally rubbish. I flop on the sofa with J while he watches a documentary over his lunch. One of our friends cancels on a group get-together in a month’s time and we’re secretly happy — he’s the boyfriend of someone in the group and a few of us aren’t super fond of him. I switch to Gilmore Girls when J goes back to work.

3 p.m. — Peel myself off the sofa and make a Nutella and banana sandwich. I still feel sick but I usually start to feel worse if I don’t eat. Plop back at my desk as I’ve got an article I need to finish today. I also answer a call from a writer from a super cool brand that I’d love to work with (but not holding out much hope). 

5 p.m. — My article is finished and sent. Get a message from No Camera Guy and it’s bad news: The project is going on hold. He’s a freelancer too and has said something vague about the end client’s reasons and that he’ll try to find out more. I’m properly gutted as this was the first big project I’d booked for a while and it felt like a good step in the right direction. This and the migraine give me the cries for a bit. Have a bath to try and pull myself out of the funk.

6:30 p.m. — The bath was nice but I’m still feeling down and ill so we decide to order shedloads of carbs for dinner from McDonald’s (their fries cure migraines). I get a Chicken Big Mac and milkshake, J gets some sort of beef burger and we share some desserts. I genuinely feel so much better afterwards, £16.72.

8 p.m. — Games with our friends. One of them (B) texts J and I to gossip about another of them (M) while we’re all chatting on Discord. B and M used to live together and I’m not sure their friendship will ever recover from it.

10:30 p.m. — TV, reading, sleeping.

Total: £16.72

Day Seven

9:30 a.m. — We’ve got a big day of gardening today. I have breakfast while J gets started (I wish he’d wait for me but he’d rather crack on so I just try to eat quickly).

10 a.m. — The weather is not the one for doing garden stuff! It’s not quite raining but it’s grey and damp. We’re clearing out our beds to get them ready for new plants, which involves shifting a metric tonne of stones and pulling up some tarp. J goes to the tip with the first load of stones and comes back with some buckets to help with the process, plus some lunch from M&S. There are two more trips to the tip and we end up having to pay to get rid of some of the stones as it’s classed as rubble, £15.42 for my portion of the tip, buckets and lunch.

1 p.m. — SO MUDDY. I have a quick shower and eat my sandwich, then get dressed in acceptable outside wear of Tala flares (so comfy) and a jumper. First stop is the garden centre. 

3 p.m. — We get loads of plants, including three climbers, some heather, some hostas and a bunch of flowering ones. We also get a selection of herbs. I’m starting to feel the migraine coming back (when I get one, it tends to come back for a few days) so we also get some snacks, £87.38.

4 p.m. — We go down the motorway to the next town to pick up some bits from Facebook Marketplace. We get two big wooden planters for £15 and a selection of plants for a tenner (from two different people), £12.50 for my half. Drop in at my parents’ house to say hi.

5 p.m. —We’re having my family round tomorrow for cassoulet so we need to go to the supermarket. We go to Lidl and get meat, veg and fresh bread, plus supplies for dinner tonight and things for meals in the week, £36.11.

6 p.m. — Next stop is B&Q (again) for some garden things we forgot/know are cheaper from here (twine, an extra trowel and a massive bag of compost), £12.18.

7 p.m. — Finally home and we’re exhausted. We make club sandwiches for tea and veg out in front of the TV for a bit. 

8 p.m. — Game time. We don’t usually play every night but it seems to have been a bit of a pattern this week. It’s a fairly new game for us so I think everyone is excited to play as much as possible. 

10.30 p.m. — TV, reading, bed.

Total: £163.59

The Breakdown

Food & Drink: £121.48
Clothes & Beauty: £160.97
Home & Health: £152.98
Entertainment: £0
Travel: £26.08
Other: £0

Total: £460.51

Conclusion

“Recording my spending certainly made me more mindful as I’m usually the kind of person who wonders where all my money has gone at the end of the month (or at any point really, given I get paid at random times). This was quite an expensive week with the garden stuff but we’re hoping that this investment will mean we don’t have to do it again for a while (we bought mostly perennials that should hopefully come back year after year). I spent quite a lot on food, which doesn’t really surprise me as we both love to eat and I tend to crave specific things when I don’t feel well. Most of my socialising is done online so I guess that’s an area where I save money — I probably see my friends IRL once every couple of months or so for a weekend as they live further away, rather than going out and doing stuff each week. I was also ill for quite a lot of this week, which meant less spending on fun stuff to do. I’m trying to get better about online shopping. There was a time when I’d put hundreds on Klarna only to return it all and it was a bad habit. If it hadn’t have been for the weddings, I wouldn’t have spent anything on clothes this week so that’s pretty good for me (I also ended up sending them back!).”

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