This week: “I’m 37 years old and living in Edinburgh with my husband and dog. We’re about to go through our third round of IVF via the NHS, which was a hard decision to make after two failed rounds but we want to live without regret so we’re giving it one last go. In many ways it feels like we’re doing this round to confirm my infertility and close the door, rather than being filled with hope for a miracle, but we won’t know until we know. In terms of spending, we put £1,500 into a joint account each month and this covers travel, social lives, date nights and miscellaneous expenses like haircuts, acupuncture, therapy, presents, etc. All spending in this diary is on the joint account.”
Occupation: Digital marketing manager
Industry: Marketing and comms
Age: 37
Location: Edinburgh
Salary: £44,000
Paycheque amount: £2,800
Number of housemates: One: my partner, Z.
Pronouns: She/her
Monthly Expenses
Housing costs: My half of the mortgage is £592 and this includes a £200 overpayment we split between us.
Loan payments: £191 on our car finance and an additional payment of £26 per month to extend the warranty.
Savings? Our current joint safety net is £5,000 in a 4.5% Monzo account. We add around £500-700 to it most months (split evenly).
Pension? I pay 5% per month and my employer matches. It’s a final salary pension.
Utilities: Council tax is £150, power/gas is £105. I pay for both of these. Z pays for our £30 life insurance, £70 dog food, £33 union memberships, £30 pet insurance and puts the rest aside as rainy day money for the end of the month when things are usually tighter.
All other monthly payments: £15 phone, £14 Spotify, £52 internet (all out of my account).
Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
I did a degree in marketing and communications. I had one year paid for by my parents, one year on scholarship and one year through loans. My student loan is all paid off, Z still has theirs.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money?
I was always encouraged to be responsible with my money, although sometimes to the point of not ever having any fun. I think I’ve struck the balance a bit better than my parents did.
If you have, when did you move out of your parents’/guardians’ house?
I moved out at 18 and have never moved back in.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself? Does anyone else cover any aspects of your financial life?
My parents helped with the cost of two root canals and the first year of my degree but otherwise my cost of living became mine to cover when I moved out. Z and I have a good dynamic with our finances, having been together since we were 19, and we happily look after each other.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
I worked in a wee corner shop and it mostly just funded my teenage social life.
Do you worry about money now?
Yes I do. We’ve had a lot break in our flat in the last 18 months (boiler, washing machine, dishwasher, kitchen plumbing), which has set me on edge, but at least it’s good motivation to save.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income?
No, we’re both financially independent.
8 a.m. — Wake up and start the day with Wordle (got it in three) and Connections (no mistakes today, yay!), then take the dog out while my husband, Z, makes coffee.
8:30 a.m. — No sign of my period. It’s due any day now and when it arrives I’ll call the NHS for instructions on what dosage of injections I need to start taking for this round of IVF. Log on to work and get cracking with emails.
12 p.m. — Make lunch (egg and salad roll) then head out for a hill walk with Z and the dog. We’re so lucky to WFH most days (which we both enjoy) and to get to do this on our lunch breaks.
3 p.m. — Busy afternoon at work, fuelled by pistachios, peanut butter rice cakes and a lot of water. Remember to take my vitamins, including folic acid.
4:30 p.m. — The sun’s out so we decide that the second the clock hits 5 p.m. we’re jumping in the car with the dog and heading to the Pentlands for another hill walk. We share a cheese and pickled onion toastie as a pre-walk snack.
5 p.m. — Head straight to the Pentlands and park up to walk the Torduff reservoir circuit. It’s a beautiful evening for it and takes just under an hour with lots of city and sea views.
7 p.m. — Reheat some leftover chilli from earlier in the week and serve it with Greek yoghurt and pickled onions. Read my book for a bit with dinner and have a quiet evening pottering.
10 p.m. — Remember to get some chicken in the fridge to defrost for tomorrow. Log on to work to check a few emails and see what meetings I have in the morning, then shower and get into bed with my book (Blue Sisters by Coco Mellors).
Total: £0
7:30 a.m. — Wake up with spicy hay fever. I’ll have to stop taking antihistamines once I start the stim drug and I’m not looking forward to it at all.
7:45 a.m. — Still no sign of my period. After over five years of wanting it NOT to arrive, it feels strange being in a hurry for it to get here. I have mixed feelings about doing IVF for a third time so in a way it’s almost like I want to get it all over and done with.
8 a.m. — Take the dog outside while Z makes me coffee. She’s extra playful and cute this morning.
9:45 a.m. — Peanut butter toast while I do Wordle and Connections before a department meeting. I get Wordle in three and completely muck up every single chance at Connections.
12:45 p.m. — Tuna salad for lunch and take the dog for some sniffs in the park. Remember to get the chicken marinating, and to take my vitamins.
2 p.m. — Quick snack before afternoon meetings. We are nearing the end of our weekly food shop and options are limited, so muesli with Greek yog and a cup of tea it is.
5 p.m. — We finish up on time and it’s a long weekend for us! Take the dog out and nip to the shops for some top-ups: tenderstems, a lemonade, a beer for Z and dessert pots, £8.76. Sit in the sun in the park to decompress from the week.
6 p.m. — Dinner is a gochujang chicken noodle stir fry. I have a panic remembering the IVF medication I was given two days ago was supposed to go in the fridge and I’ve completely forgotten to do so. I put it in the fridge now but suspect when I phone the hospital in the morning they might ask me to come in for a new supply. Cue the guilt.
9:30 p.m. — Head up a local hill with the dog for the summer solstice. Unfortunately it’s too cloudy to properly witness the 10.02 p.m. Scottish sunset but it’s still a beautiful and very light evening.
10:45 p.m. — Home, shower, bed, book, lights out.
Total: £8.76
9 a.m. — Manage a lie-in for our day off! Spend the first hour of the day FaceTiming a friend who moved overseas.
10 a.m. — Call the NHS and they comfort me that leaving the stim drug out of the fridge isn’t the big deal I thought it was and it’s totally fine for up to 28 days. I’m so relieved. Still no sign of my period.
11 a.m. — Pop out to a new local to grab breakfast bao buns and coffees, £16. Pick up our dog’s bestie for a day of fun together.
11:30 a.m. — Drive to the beach with the dogs and give them a good hour running around the sand, throwing sticks, digging holes and splashing in the sea. Good for the soul.
1 p.m. — Pop into a cafe with incredible sea views. We grab two drinks, a chicken burger and chips to share from one of the onsite food trucks, £20. Enjoy the cliff top view before driving home.
6 p.m. — We need dinner and there’s very little left in the flat but we manage to rustle up a pasta using some chilli from the freezer and leftover tenderstems from yesterday.
7 p.m. — Drop our doggie pal back to her parents and it’s motivated me to do a proper Lidl shop. We spend £40 on fruit, veg, fish, halloumi, eggs, some pantry staples and snacks.
9:30 p.m. — My hobby of tuning into the Eras livestream for surprise songs continues. London is SPOILED with some great song mashups.
10:15 p.m. — Bed and book!
Total: £76
8:30 a.m. — Wake up (still no sign of period), take the dog out, Z makes me coffee and we chat about what to do with our sunny Saturday.
11 a.m. — After a leisurely morning we decide to walk the dog into Bruntsfield for a play in the Links and grab cold brews and a pastry to share from Beatnik. We have one free coffee on our loyalty card so it comes to £7.60.
12:30 p.m. — After a good mooch around we head to a beer garden where we split a focaccia fish finger sandwich, chips and a drink each while we read our books in the sun, £25.
1:30 p.m. — Our friend swings in to say hello and we grab a round while we catch up, £18.
4 p.m. — Walk home and grab pizza, crisps, drink and dessert for £18.80. I arrive home to see my period is here. Of course it arrived during the out-of-hours service at the hospital. I phone but get their voice machine and the alternate number sends me to a department that has no idea what I should be doing. They’re going to do some digging and phone me back.
5 p.m. — They call me back and there’s nothing they can do as the out-of-hours department isn’t trained in fertility support. Suppress tears. It sucks but there’s literally nothing we can do except hope someone phones tomorrow.
6 p.m. — Z puts the pizza in the oven and we spend the evening doing our own things.
10 p.m. — Eras tour surprise songs, take the dog out, bed and book.
Total: £69.40
8 a.m. — Wake up in excruciating period pain. Z makes me a breakfast roll and gets me painkillers.
10:15 a.m. — The hospital rings (thank god) and has guidance for my injection timeline. Thankfully all is okay. I start my stim drug in two days (upsettingly on a day when I’ll be flying for work so will have to administer it myself at the airport) and we have a timeline laid out for the drugs and scans.
1 p.m. — Take some items out of my Eras VIP box to give to a friend’s child who’s a big Swiftie. I have no need for a Taylor tote or box of postcards and only bought VIP so we could actually get tickets so it feels nice to pass these things along to one very happy kid. Head out for a walk with Z and the dog to deliver the goods.
2 p.m. — Split ways with Z and meet up with a friend in the park to lie in the sun chatting. Intermittent tears about having to go to London during IVF.
5 p.m. — Bus home, £2. Get back and go into full decluttering mode. Hall cupboard is completely tidied out and rearranged before dinner.
7 p.m. — Fish burgers and salad for dinner and a long chat with Z about where I’m at mentally and if I can handle London this week. I’ve never had to do the injections myself and even though I’m not scared of needles, I’m not sure I want to administer the drug to myself for the first time ever while in an airport bathroom. Z encourages me that it’s okay to cancel plans and put my needs first.
9 p.m. — Eras surprise songs, shower, bed, book.
Total: £2
8 a.m. — Wake up filled with anxiety about talking to my manager about cancelling my London trip. On the plus side, it’s payday.
8:30 a.m. — Never felt older than I do right now as I make my payday treat purchase of…a mop. It’s one I’ve had my eye on for a while and I’m jazzed, £12. Z heads to the office so will spend £4 today from the joint account on buses there and back.
9 a.m. — Tell myself I won’t cry when I call my manager about cancelling London. Call my manager and cry while telling her I need to cancel London. She’s so nice and understanding. The trip is officially off the cards.
12 p.m. — Make a controversial personal fave for lunch — tinned fish on toast — before taking the dog out for a play.
2 p.m. — Afternoon meetings are fuelled by an apple, some nuts and lots of water.
5:30 p.m. — Finish work and take the dog to the park. Z arrives back from the office and joins us.
6 p.m. — Dig out some onion tomato masala from the freezer to use as a base for a quick matar paneer curry, served on rice with kachumber. One of those meals that looks fancier than it is, and 10/10 for flavour.
7 p.m. — Tunnock’s Teacakes for dessert and an episode of a shitty (in the best way) murder mystery show that we’re watching together.
10 p.m. — Take the dog out for one last play and she gets to zoom with some of her neighbourhood doggie pals. Shocked it’s already so late but the days are so long in Scotland that time loses meaning.
10:30 p.m. — Shower, bed, book.
Total: £16
8 a.m. — Awake and ready for day one of stim drugs. I’m grateful Z can administer this for me and that I’m not alone at the airport. I’m fine with needles but I’ve never been able to jab myself. Also holy moly, I’m going to miss taking my hay fever medication.
11:30 a.m. — Our dog’s bestie gets dropped off to hang out with us for the day. The girls are SO happy to be reunited. Start feeling peckish and make buttery scrambled eggs on sourdough with vine tomatoes.
1 p.m. — Take the dogs out for a play. It’s warm today so we only let them play in the long grass in the shade (my hay fever hates me) and keep them regularly hydrated. I’m sneezing up a storm but it’s worth it for the gals.
3 p.m. — Afternoon snack of honey roasted cashews, remember to take my vitamins. Chappell Roan on as I blast through some tasks I’ve been putting off.
5 p.m. — Sell an item on Vinted (No It’s Becky T-shirt, IYKYK) and pop out to the shops to post it while returning our dog’s bestie to her parents.
7 p.m. — Dinner is a roast veg and sausage pasta salad. It’s okay but this hay fever is ruining my enjoyment levels somehow. We eat while watching two episodes of our perfectly shitty murder mystery show.
10:30 p.m. — Long shower to try and scrub the hay fever off me, bed and book.
Total: £0
Food & Drink: £154.16
Clothes & Beauty: £0
Home & Health: £12
Entertainment: £0
Travel: £6
Other: £0
Total: £172.16
Conclusion
“I guess we eat out more than I realise. I always think we don’t eat out that much as it’s only once a month or less that we book a table somewhere, but it seems we do tend to eat out a fair bit on a whim. In general I feel okay about this level of spending but I’m also hyper aware that if IVF does miraculously work for us this time, we have some reining-in to do!”
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