This week: “I’m a 31-year-old policy manager based in Bristol and working predominantly remotely. I live with the two loves of my life: my husband, B, and our 1-year-old daughter, A. B and I have been living in Bristol for almost eight years after moving down from Scotland. We love the buzz of the city and it has become home for us, despite both of our families being quite far away. Life right now is pretty hectic as I am juggling parenting, working, postgraduate study and we are looking to move house soon. I’m also considering changing jobs after discovering last year that my three male direct reports, whom I had recruited and trained, were being paid more than me. Although the issue was eventually resolved, it affected my confidence deeply and my relationship with my director has not been the same since. That said, I enjoy my work, I love my team and my hours are flexible around A, so I am trying to look on the bright side for now.”
Occupation: Policy manager
Industry: Government
Age: 31
Location: Bristol
Salary: My husband and I have a combined income of £158,000 (my salary is £53,300).
Paycheque amount: £3,000 (mine) + £5,200 (my husband’s).
Number of housemates: Two: my husband, B, and our 1-year-old daughter, A.
Pronouns: She/her
Monthly Expenses
Housing costs: £940 mortgage.
Loan payments: I pay around £170 in student loan repayments each month, which comes directly out of my salary. We pay around £291 a month from our joint account for a small surgery B had recently.
Savings? Together we currently have £40k in ISAs (£20k each), £6,100 in NS&I and £1,000 in an instant access saver. A large proportion of this will soon disappear as we are about to move house.
Pension? Yes, with my current employer I have a private pension worth around £75k. I have varied the amount I have paid in over the last few years and currently pay in 10% and my employer pays in 10%. I also have a civil service pension from my previous role, which will award me a defined benefit of £2k annually upon retirement.
Utilities: £162 energy bill, £219 council tax, £13 TV licence, £79 water bill.
All other monthly payments: £1,185 nursery fees, £200 donation to a local charity I volunteered with before having A, £82 service charge, £70 for both our phone contracts, £46 indemnity for B, £49 professional registration fee for B, £95 life insurance and critical illness cover. Subscriptions: £9.99 Netflix, £9.99 Amazon music.
Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes, I grew up in a middle-class family where going to a top-ranked university was non-negotiable. I understand that my parents wanted the best for me and my siblings but sometimes this level of pressure was quite difficult to handle. For my undergraduate degree, I took out student loans and worked part-time in a clothes shop during termtime. I also worked paid internships during the summers. For my MSc, I studied part-time while working full-time and took out a postgraduate loan. I prioritised paying this off quickly as the repayment thresholds were low and the interest was high. Two years ago, I was awarded an academic scholarship to complete a part-time MBA. This reduced the fees from £55k to £12k. Shortly after being awarded the scholarship, I discovered I was pregnant. The university would not let me defer without losing my funding so I studied throughout maternity leave, which was exceedingly difficult. I will finish before the end of the year and have just paid the final bill from our earnings.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money?
My parents were very careful with money and prioritised our education over holidays, material belongings or eating out. My siblings and I all received academic scholarships to attend private schools at reduced fees. We were encouraged to save and get a job as soon as we were able. Sometimes my parents were overly strict with money but the purse strings were tight at times with us all receiving private schooling. They have retired recently and it has been great to see them start to enjoy their money more, including holidays and meals out.
If you have, when did you move out of your parents’/guardians’ house?
I moved out at 19. I would have liked to move out a year earlier but I was unwell and had to drop down a year at school.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself? Does anyone else cover any aspects of your financial life?
I became financially responsible for myself at 19 when I left home. Until recently, my husband and I earned similar salaries, however he recently completed his training and now earns double my salary. I have struggled with this disparity as I have always preferred things to be equal. I am very aware that our upcoming house move would not be possible without his salary.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
I started waitressing at 16 as soon as I finished my GCSEs. I wanted to earn some pocket money and get out more over the summer.
Do you worry about money now?
Yes and no. We are just about to take out a huge mortgage in order to get our daughter into the catchment area for an outstanding state primary school. I know that I am in an incredibly fortunate position to be able to even consider this move but I’m worried that the payments will cause the same stress my parents were under when I was a child. I don’t want to repeat the past.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income?
Yes, we have received £130k in inherited income, predominantly from my grandfather and a very close family friend. All of these funds were used for the deposit on our flat. I miss these people every day with all my heart.
6 a.m. — Alarm goes off, I hit snooze and doze for a few minutes. Our little girl, A, has recently started sleeping until around 6.30 a.m. as opposed to 5 a.m., which has been greatly welcomed. After a few minutes, I grab the baby monitor and head to the bathroom for a quick shower before she wakes. My husband, B, follows suit.
6:45 a.m. — After a quick nappy change, of which she is not a fan, it’s time for breakfast. Ready Brek and fruit is standard every morning.
7:15 a.m. — After cleaning Ready Brek off the floor, walls and table, I pick a cute outfit for A and we get ready to head to the park. I am currently working part-time as I came back from maternity leave with a ridiculous amount of holiday to use up. It has been a great way to spend some extra time with A and save on childcare.
8 a.m. — We nip to the greengrocer’s for two punnets of raspberries and then to the supermarket for some milk, £4.45. I then go to Greggs for a free hot chocolate (thank you O2!) and post a card to an elderly friend up in Scotland I used to volunteer with who has recently had heart surgery.
9 a.m. — We return home and make a game out of washing the raspberries, which involves fishing for them with a wooden spoon. It is good fun and A gets the giggles but it also turns the kitchen floor into a swimming pool. Ah well!
11:30 a.m. — After returning some books to the library, I meet my friend E and her little one, C, to go to a local play café (prepaid). I treat myself to a mega slice of apple and caramel cake and a sparkling elderflower, and I get a tea for E, who is far healthier than me and forgoes the cake, £10.15. A and C have a great time going down the slides and exploring the toy kitchens.
3:30 p.m. — Arrive home just as A wakes. We read some stories, FaceTime B’s mum and then I pop A in front of Bluey so I can rustle up some dinner.
6:20 p.m. — B arrives home. A is very clingy in the evenings so it’s quite tricky at times. All she wants to do is be held by me and she will scream blue murder otherwise. While I love that she is so attached, it is causing me some back problems and I think B is a little annoyed at being neglected (by both of us) in the evenings.
6:30 p.m. — After a clean and a change, and the battle that is brushing a baby’s teeth, we settle down on the sofa chair in A’s room for stories together. Unfortunately B is not allowed to hold either A or the book at this time of the day, but she permits him to hold her hand from time to time.
7:15 p.m. — B and I have dinner and catch up on our days. It has been a busy day for B in the hospital. One of his more vulnerable patients had a complication but thankfully they are okay and recovering.
8 p.m. — I wash my face, brush my teeth and apply some No7 1% retinol. We snuggle in bed and watch The Trouble with Maggie Cole on Netflix. B is not a big fan but I enjoy it and it makes me think that maybe we should uproot our urban lives and move to a small village by the sea…
Total: £14.60
6 a.m. — Alarm as usual. I throw on gym gear and make sure A’s nursery bag is well stocked while B gets ready.
6:30 a.m. — A is up and I sort her usual Ready Brek and we do some dancing in the kitchen.
7:30 a.m. — B drops A at nursery twice a week, which frees me up a little those mornings. I head out for a 10km run.
8:30 a.m. — Back home and a quick shower before jumping onto my laptop with a coffee and some cornflakes. I respond to emails I have missed over the last day, catch up with a couple of my team regarding ongoing projects and check in with two others who are flying out to another country to make sure they are getting on okay.
12 p.m. — I make pesto pasta and then have some Greek yoghurt with honey and peanut butter. I want to get some baby-friendly paints and crafts for A and me to do next week so I end up ordering a few bits from Smyths, £22.98.
12:30 p.m. — I walk to the Clifton Suspension Bridge to meet a direct report who is just about to leave my organisation. My team are geographically spread out across the UK and overseas so it’s nice to see someone in person for a change and it will be a shame to no longer have a colleague in the city. We tidy up a few loose ends at work and enjoy the sunshine while putting the world to rights. I buy us both an iced tea, £7.
4:30 p.m. — I start walking home via nursery to collect A. En route I stop and pick up some chocolate and sweets from a newsagent as a Friday night treat, £2.65. B is very lucky these treats make it home safely. As I walk, I get the bad news that I wasn’t successful in an interview I had last week. I feel quite down for a few minutes but the feedback is positive and they have encouraged me to apply for other roles.
5:30 p.m. — Home with a very tired A. She has breadsticks and some milk and I give her a bath. Her giggles cheer me up and I feel very lucky.
6:10 p.m. — B arrives home and we enjoy some time playing with A before cuddles, stories and lights out.
7 p.m. — We have pizzas from the freezer, then enjoy some tea, chocolate and sweets. I love these kinds of evenings and I don’t miss nights out one bit. I’m definitely getting old.
8 p.m. — We snuggle in bed and watch some Netflix.
Total: £32.63
6:30 a.m. — A starts singing to herself. B and I have an arrangement where I take A for a few hours on Saturday morning and he does the same on Sunday.
7:30 a.m. — After the usual Ready Brek, A and I get ready and head over to the park where we enjoy the swings and slides. I chat with a grandma who is playing with her granddaughter and feel a little sad that we don’t have any family nearby.
8:15 a.m. — We have three people coming to view our flat this morning as we are hoping to move into a house fairly close by. While I love the flat and it is certainly big enough for the three of us, we are just outside the catchment for good primary schools in the area. I occupy A with some toys and give the place a quick tidy and a hoover.
9 a.m. — We all head out, first to the greengrocer’s for bananas and apples, £3.52. We then go to the post office, where I send off my legal power of attorney registration to my best friend for a signature (we are trying to be grown ups and get our lives in order now we have A). I send this signed-for first class and buy an envelope and I also include some money for her to return it to me, £14.50. We then head to the local shoe shop to buy A’s first shoes. I am very excited but she is not a fan of getting her tiny feet measured. It takes some coaxing; the lady in the shop is very patient, £35.
10:30 a.m. — We head back home via the park as the flat viewings are now done. We then play for a while as we await a bed delivery. I spotted a beautiful, solid mahogany bed in a charity shop last weekend. B is not too impressed as we don’t need an extra bed while we’re in the flat but it was too good to pass up! The bed will go in our basement room, broken down into parts. B slowly came round as I convinced him it’s a good investment, is saving the planet and supporting charity simultaneously!
12 p.m. — We all have some cucumber sandwiches, crisps and fruit and then head down to the local city farm a short walk away. We spend an hour or so noseying at the animals and then return home. I get an email from the estate agent: Two of the couples liked the flat but no offers unfortunately. We will have to sit tight and see. It is a much slower market than when we bought the flat four years ago.
2 p.m. — A has a nap while B and I sit in the garden. I have a prosecco and B has an alcohol-free beer.
3 p.m. — A wakes and goes on her trike in our little garden. B FaceTimes his family and after saying hello I sneak off for a bit of quiet time to finish reading The Color Purple.
4 p.m. — I rustle up a quick dinner of gnocchi with a homemade tomato sauce, roasted peppers and vegetable sausages…and lots of cheese as usual.
7 p.m. — After A’s bedtime routine, it’s sleepy time for her and we watch a movie before drifting off.
Total: £53.02
6:30 a.m. — A wakes and B gets up to sort her out.
7 a.m. — I pull myself out of bed and stick a wash on. After some cuddles with A, I have a quick coffee and throw on my gym gear.
7:30 a.m. — I arrange to meet A and B in the park and head off for a 12km run. I absolutely adore running early on a Sunday morning when there is no one about and the sky is blue. I head down to the harbourside, under the suspension bridge and back to my neck of the woods, stopping at Greggs for a hot chocolate (free once again, thanks to O2 — on my work phone this time!).
8:45 a.m. — I meet A and B in the park for a short stint on the swings and slides.
10:30 a.m. — After a quick shower, cornflakes and packing a picnic, we bundle A into the car and head through to Bath for a few hours. En route A naps and I respond to a few messages on Peanut, scheduling some meet-ups with other mums in the area. As we don’t have family nearby, it’s super important that we have a good social network in the city. We find a free parking spot near a park and have an early picnic lunch of cheese scones, sandwiches, yoghurt, fruit and crisps. We attempt to play catch but A hasn’t quite got the hang of it yet.
11:15 a.m. — We wander into town and have a nosey around the shops, then walk up to The Circus and back down to the abbey. It is absolutely mobbed but still beautiful. B and I get pistachio ice creams from our favourite gelato place, £8. Despite her sweet tooth, A isn’t particularly interested and settles for a cereal bar I brought with us instead. I also buy some sour marshmallows, £5.
1:30 p.m. — We head back and A falls asleep again. When we get home, B offers to sit in the car while she finishes up her nap. I go inside and set about planning activities B and I could do next week, as we have two full days off while A is in nursery. We have had so little time just the two of us since A was born that I’m quite excited. I plan a long walk/pub lunch and some kayaking.
4:30 p.m. — I pop A in front of Bluey while I prepare dinner. We were lucky enough to be given some Cook vouchers by my best friend when I went back to work a few months ago. I take out a tomato risotto and steam some peas to mix through.
5 p.m. — Dinner goes down a treat. A has a mango pouch mixed with Greek yoghurt for pudding.
6 p.m. — Usual bedtime routine for A, lights out at 7 p.m.
7 p.m. — I snack on marshmallows while I finalise my proposal for my MBA final project. The deadline is midnight tonight. Thankfully I finished it last weekend so I just make a few tweaks and submit. I will be so happy to get this finished in a few months, it has been exceedingly difficult and stressful juggling studying, work and a baby.
9 p.m. — Doze off and vaguely hear B coming into bed a little later.
Total: £13
6:30 a.m. — Get up and pop on some laundry while B has a shower and breakfast. A decides not to wake until 7 a.m., which must be a record. I throw on my gym gear and wash my face. I get some homemade sweet potato and coconut soup out of the freezer. Sadly the freezer is starting to look a little empty. I will need to do some batch cooking soon!
7:30 a.m. — Walk A down to nursery and do a quick 5km, finishing back home.
8:30 a.m. — After a shower, I log on. I respond to some emails and see that all is going well with my team out in India. I jump on a few project calls and continue writing a report that I am hoping to finish before I log off for annual leave tomorrow evening. I catch up with another team lead and we have a good moan about the incompetence of senior leadership, particularly with regard to ongoing pay disparities and how, surprise surprise, it is always women or people of colour who come out worst. I snack on marshmallows throughout the morning and drink copious amounts of tea.
12 p.m. — I nip down to the bakery to buy a large white sourdough, a school cake slice and a bread-and-butter slice, £7.20. When I get back I have two slices of the bread with peanut butter, then go back for two more, then have a banana. I text my older sister as it is her birthday today and she is heavily pregnant with her second baby. I gave her a bath set when we visited a few weeks ago and she texts me back to thank me.
4 p.m. — I have a call from the estate agent. We have an offer! However, the buyers are still in the process of selling their property so I don’t get too excited. We also have another viewing scheduled for tomorrow afternoon so I make plans to work in a coffee shop for a couple of hours.
5 p.m. — After a packed afternoon of calls, emails and report writing, I head down to collect A from nursery. It’s raining heavily so I drive. I’m not a confident or experienced driver and I only do it when I absolutely need to. I manage to get stuck in a ditch when trying to turn in the narrow road the nursery is located on…with a whole bunch of cars and motorbikes waiting to get past. Ah well. Somehow manage to get us out and home safely.
6:30 p.m. — B arrives home as I am bathing A. We all enjoy snuggles and stories, lights out for A at 7 p.m. as usual.
7 p.m. — B and I have the soup with sourdough and lots of butter, followed by the cakes. Delicious but a few too many carbs.
8 p.m. — Netflix and sleep. I wake up about 3 a.m. with really bad insomnia and sneak into our spare room. I have a horrible tendency to overthink everything when this happens. Eventually I manage to get back to sleep.
Total: £7.20
6 a.m. — I hear A stirring upstairs, roll over and pull the duvet over my head. I hear B going to get her and lie guiltily for 15 minutes as he didn’t feel well yesterday evening. When I get upstairs A has already polished off her breakfast and is being very moany so I manage to distract her with some toys while B gets ready. I had an email from A’s nursery that all the kiddies need to come prepared with waterproofs as the weather is so bad. I log on to Vinted and buy a cute puddle suit with colourful animals and some red booties, £16.08.
7:45 a.m. — B drops A down at nursery and I head out for a quick 6km while listening to the Happy Mum Happy Baby podcast. You might have guessed that running is my absolute happy place and keeps me sane. I even went running (waddling?) the day I went into labour with A — I was definitely getting some strange looks from passersby at that point! I jog past the house for sale we are interested in and hope it doesn’t go before we are ready to make a move.
8:45 a.m. — Back, showered, laundry load on and I log onto my laptop. B is also working from home today, which is very unusual and it’s nice to have some company. One of my team calls in sick so a couple of meetings are shifted. I have two lengthy reports to review, a report of my own to finish writing and quarterly forecasting for our finance teams. I also schedule a team meeting for next month in London. As a government agency, we don’t have any budget for team days so I try to get creative. I book free tickets for the Sky Garden and suss out where we could all have a picnic afterwards.
12:45 p.m. — Break for beans on toast (with cheese of course) and send my grandparents an email to arrange a date to visit next month. They are both in their 90s and despite us disagreeing on many things (they are super traditional), I love them dearly. I then get confirmation that I am getting a student loan refund as I didn’t earn over the threshold last year due to mat leave. £591 coming back into my bank account, hurrah!
4 p.m. — After a couple more hours of calls, B and I head to a coffee shop to continue working while someone views our flat for the second time. I get some chocolate on the way over, £0.70. We get a call from the estate agent and they say we now have three offers and will be going to best and final tomorrow morning! We pivot to the pub near A’s nursery for celebratory elderflower cocktails/mocktails, sheepishly keeping an eye on our work emails, £10.
5:15 p.m. — We collect A and head home. She hasn’t eaten much dinner at nursery apparently so I quickly cook the fresh mushroom tortellini sitting in the fridge with a tomato sauce and salad.
7 p.m. — Bedtime for A after the usual routine.
8 p.m. — B and I have tea and biscuits and finalise a few bits of work we should have completed earlier before putting on our out-of-offices and turning in.
Total: £26.78
6 a.m. — Wake up after another night of bad insomnia and overthinking life. Thankfully B and I are on annual leave today. A is in nursery this morning. We will collect her at lunchtime and drive up to my parents’ home.
7:30 a.m. — After the usual morning routine, I drop A at nursery and B loads the car, which is packed to the brim. It is crazy to me how much stuff little humans require!
8:30 a.m. — B and I head to a local café that we love, which has the most amazing array of cakes and pastries. It feels strange being out without A but nice to have some child-free time. We both have a pain au chocolat, £8.45.
10 a.m. — We go for a walk on a nearby common. As we admire the views of the bridge, I get an email from our estate agent with the three final offers. The offers are very similar so we go for the couple that we think liked the property the most and would be a good fit for our lovely neighbours in the building. We celebrate by sharing an ice cream, £4. While we are out, our two cleaners pay a visit. This is something that we decided to start when we had A, especially with me studying. They come every other week for an hour and are angels, £55. I will start cleaning again when I finish my studies in a few months.
12 p.m. — We collect A and bundle her into the car for the four-hour journey. B drives and I periodically break into renditions of “Edelweiss” in the back to keep A sleeping as long as possible. Parenting has put my childhood singing lessons to good use! A sleeps for around half the journey and I pull out the snacks, toys and iPad for the final stretch. We top up with petrol, which costs £52.30, and I buy a bunch of flowers for my mum en route for £20.
4:30 p.m. — We arrive at my parents’, with lots of cuddles, cups of tea and cakes on arrival. The weather is wonderful so we relax in the garden for a while before having vegetarian haggis, neeps and tatties, followed by strawberries and ice cream.
7 p.m. — After A’s usual bedtime routine, my dad lights a fire outside and we catch up with wine and alcohol-free beers.
9:30 p.m. — We turn in, happy to be home and looking forward to a few days of being spoilt and a couple of nights at the local pub!
Total: £139.75
Food & Drink: £71.12
Clothes & Beauty: £51.08
Home & Health: £55
Entertainment: £22.98
Travel: £52.30
Other: £34.50
Total: £286.98
Conclusion
“This was probably a fairly standard week for me. I didn’t do a large food shop or much cooking, which is very unusual, but I did pay for things like petrol and A’s shoes, which wouldn’t be weekly occurrences. It was interesting to see my expenditure down on paper, however, I’m quite careful with money and fairly aware of my spending most of the time so it wasn’t a huge shock. That said, it did make me think that I probably need to cut down on my cheese and sweets intake!”
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