This week: “I’m a 33-year-old living in the countryside who was recently made redundant. My husband and I have been together since school and our approach to finances has changed radically in the last few years. Post-COVID all our friends started having babies and, while we’re totally in awe of them, we realised (after many, many conversations with each other and, for me, with a therapist) that parenthood isn’t the path we want to take. So we’re now at a really exciting (and kind of overwhelming) point in our lives where we get to completely reimagine what the next 20 years look like, without the raising kids blueprint we assumed we’d be following. We love to travel more than anything and are both interested in trying out non-corporate jobs so our main goal is to get to a place where we have enough financial freedom not to have to work full-time or be tied into an expensive mortgage, and spend way more time exploring the world.”
Occupation: Currently on redundancy.
Industry: Communications
Age: 33
Location: Oxfordshire
Salary: My most recent role (head of communications) paid just over £60,000. Household salary is currently just my husband’s salary of circa £50,000.
Paycheque amount: When I was working it was £3,301.98. Since being made redundant I’m paying myself £1,895 per month from my redundancy payment to cover bills and expenses.
Number of housemates: Two: my husband, C, and our rescue cat, G.
Pronouns: She/her
Monthly Expenses
Housing costs: My half of the mortgage is £756.50. We got screwed by the infamous mini budget: Our fixed deal ended just afterwards, increasing our monthly mortgage payments by a painful 50%. We bought an absolute wreck with a plan to borrow more to fund building work but now we just pay a lot of money for a house that’s falling apart. I love adulting.
Loan payments: I have just over £5k of my student loan (Plan 1) to repay so once I’m working again I should clear that in just over a year. I also have £2k on a 0% interest credit card for a creative writing MFA-style course I signed up for when I was made redundant (I’ll pay this off in a lump sum once I’m working again). We bought our car together on finance five years ago and have five monthly payments of £151.20 left (and hoping to get some money back as we’re affected by the car finance commission scandal that is currently being investigated).
Savings? Just over £15k in a high interest savings account.
Pension? Yes. One of my first life admin tasks when I was made redundant was to combine all my pensions into one — it’s currently sitting at just over £60k. When I was working I was paying in around £300 p/m and my employer had a very generous contribution scheme.
Utilities: £235 council tax, £130 gas and electric, £21 water, £49 internet, £13.25 TV licence (all split equally with C).
All other monthly payments: £113 life insurance, £54 home and car insurance bundle, £15.40 pet insurance, £20.50 vet plan — all split equally with C. Then I pay £6.95 for my phone and £25 in charity donations. Subscriptions: £13.99 Spotify, £10.99 Netflix, £8.99 Amazon Prime, £12 Dabble Writer.
Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
I did an undergraduate degree, getting student finance for tuition and maintenance loans. I’m the first person in my family to go to university and incredibly lucky that my parents were in a position to pay my accommodation costs throughout; they often gave me additional money for food and petrol, too. I worked in the holidays for a bit of extra spending money but I stopped drinking after my first year so nights out were cheap for me and the money mostly went on clothes.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money?
I was very privileged to grow up in a wealthy family, with one stay-at-home parent and one parent working in the City. I’m an only child, went to private school, had incredible holidays all over the world every year and never wanted for anything at all — in all honesty, money wasn’t really talked about. Looking back I definitely didn’t appreciate how fortunate I was until I was out of the private school bubble but I absolutely don’t take it for granted now. I’m very conscious nowadays of trying not to live up to the only child/spoilt brat stereotype.
If you have, when did you move out of your parents’/guardians’ house?
I moved out at 18 to go to university but properly left home at 22 when I graduated and got my first job in London.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself? Does anyone else cover any aspects of your financial life?
Technically I’ve been financially responsible for myself since I graduated at 22, as I’ve never asked for or relied on anyone else for money since then. But my parents did surprise me with a contribution to the deposit for our house as my 30th birthday present (we exchanged a few weeks after my birthday) and paid for most of our wedding later that year, neither of which we’d have been able to do in the same way without their help. I never had the expectation that they would pay for any of these things but I also know that, as their only child, they want (and can afford) to help me out with big milestones like these. Right now, I’m covering all my expenses with my redundancy payout but I’m fortunate that I share costs with my husband and know I could get help from my parents if worst came to worst.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
My very first job was a Saturday job, working in a cafe for probably about £5 an hour when I was 16 or 17. I got it mostly because I wanted to put it on my uni application/CV. My parents were pretty strict with not wanting me to work during any of my exam years so I could focus on studying, so I only worked during school holidays.
Do you worry about money now?
Yes and no. I don’t take for granted that both my husband and I have family safety nets if we really needed them, but day to day I do worry that we could be better at managing our money. A few years ago we racked up £15k on 0% interest credit cards from holidays, several transatlantic weddings (that we turned into extended road trips) and some small renovation projects for our house. That was a real turning point for me because I found it very stressful being in that much debt to fund ‘wants’ not ‘needs’. Travelling is the most important thing to both me and C and we’ve never regretted any of the amazing trips we’ve taken, but I did feel a lot of shame for getting into so much debt when our household income was over £100k at the time. We earn significantly less than most of our friends and, coming from wealthy backgrounds too, I think it’s been hard not to compare and get swept up in a lifestyle we can’t actually afford. We cut back and worked really hard to pay everything off before the interest-free deal ran out and ever since then I’ve taught myself a lot about personal finance. I now use Ramit Sethi’s conscious spending plan method for all our budgeting and we’re determined to build our savings and start investing (why, oh why, didn’t we do this earlier? Better late than never, I suppose…).
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income?
I haven’t received any inheritance but as I mentioned my parents gifted us £10k towards our house deposit (we paid £10k ourselves and my husband’s parents also gifted us £10k).
5:24 a.m. — Woken up in the same manner as every morning: by my cat, G, jumping on me. We have a deal going that if I let her cuddle in my arm under the duvet (literally like you’d hold a teddy bear), then she’ll allow me some more sleep. Drift back off to her purrs.
5:54 a.m. — After 10 minutes of head bumping and pawing at the side of the bed I take the hint and get up for G’s complex breakfast routine. C and I were devastated to find out a couple of weeks ago that she has a terminal heart condition, even though she’s not very old. We don’t know how long she has left so we’re treating every day as a bonus. I administer her inhaler (yep, she also has asthma — who knew you could train a cat to take an inhaler?), her first lot of heart medication, and breakfast. I should just stay up now but I head back to bed.
7 a.m. — Finally out of bed after C and I make the most of being awake before he gets up for work. We’ve been dealing with a lot of anticipatory grief and what feels like constant vet visits since G’s diagnosis so it’s been nice the last few days to feel like we’re out of crisis mode and heading back to some sort of normality.
8 a.m. — Drive to the supermarket for brownie ingredients at the request of my best friends, who I’m seeing tonight. Grab strawberries and raspberries to go with them, £23.20.
10:30 a.m. — Have a follow-up call with a recruiter. They reached out to me earlier this week about an FTC job that sounded promising but on further research is for a defence tech company. I reluctantly agree to a first-round interview in a few days as I’m having zero luck with my job hunt so far, but I’ve spent my whole career working for really purpose-led companies and charities so it feels like a weird pivot. Morally I don’t know how I would feel about working in that sector.
1 p.m. — Highly nutritious lunch of leftover garlic bread and a Twister ice lolly, then spend the afternoon doing house chores. After that it’s time for G’s second lot of heart medication (a revolting gel she will only eat if she can lick it directly off my fingers, of course).
5 p.m. — Drop C at his rugby club social on the way to meet my best friends, L and M, at a pottery painting evening.
10 p.m. — Have the best time chatting and eating our feast of a BYO picnic. I was overambitious with the design on my mug and will need to go back for a second session to finish it. We paid a deposit when we booked so tonight I just pay the difference for the cost of the mug, £5.
10:30 p.m. — Get home and read a couple of chapters of the book I’m analysing for my creative writing course before falling asleep. C rolls in around 1 a.m.
Total: £28.20
5 a.m. — Oof. Early wake-up from G today. C still dead to the world so I do the meds/breakfast routine and then G and I get back into bed for her favourite activity: the post-breakfast nap.
8 a.m. — Feel more human for an extra three hours sleep. C is still snoring so I lie in bed listening to my new audiobook and then do more house/garden chores. I’m so glad I decided to stop being a snob about audiobooks as it’s basically doubled how many books I can get through and I genuinely live in fear of running out of time to read all the good books out there.
11:45 a.m. — On an organisation roll and decide to Project 333 my wardrobe. I’ve realised recently I would so much rather spend my money on other things.
3:30 p.m. — Don’t really know where the day went but give the cat her meds before C and I head out for dinner at L’s. Her partner, B, recently got a pizza oven so they are treating us to a pizza night. C already has some beers at home we can take and I bring the rest of the brownies for dessert.
10 p.m. — Home from the loveliest evening of eating delicious homemade pizzas and playing in the garden with L and B’s 2-year-old, who is just the cutest. C gives G dinner and we roll into bed around 11 p.m.
Total: £0
6:17 a.m. — G feeling generous this morning and I practically get a lie-in (perhaps late dinner is the answer?). Sort her breakfast and then read another new book (a physical one this time). I normally have several books on the go at once — as long as they’re all different genres, it works!
10 a.m. — A former colleague, who has become a good friend, comes over for a long walk along the river to the next village and back. We catch up on gossip from my old company and a date she’s going on this afternoon.
1 p.m. — Get home for a quiet afternoon while C is at a sports match in London. I catch up on some literary Substack newsletters I’d bookmarked while G chirps at me.
4:55 p.m. — I didn’t have any lunch as we don’t have any food in, and I can’t be bothered to go out — the dangerous trifecta that means I fall victim to my worst habit when I’m home alone and order a takeaway. Try (and fail) to ease the guilt by telling myself I can eat half tomorrow and that it’s the first one I’ve had since not working, but with delivery fees and service charge it comes to £23.25. Instant regret. Spend the rest of the evening annoyed with myself that I could have had a no-spend weekend. Feel like I’ve had an unproductive end to the week and basically have Sunday scaries, which is ridiculous because I’m not even going to work, so I make a schedule for tomorrow. I’m finding it’s quite easy to spiral while unemployed and that planning out my days and giving myself a list of tasks helps keep me feeling focused and productive.
6 p.m. — Attempt to sneak G’s gel medication into her food so my hands don’t have to smell of fish oil but she’s having absolutely none of it.
8 p.m. — Do a couple of online modules for my creative writing course to cheer myself up while eating leftover strawberries.
10 p.m. — Give C a lift from the station and we catch each other up on our days. I’ve been trying really hard not to complain about having all this time off but the panic is starting to get to me. C is super laid-back (we are, and always have been, the definition of opposites attract) and he always makes me feel better when I’m spiralling. Still, after 15 years, can’t believe how lucky I am to be with him. Head straight to bed when we get home.
Total: £23.25
5:40 a.m. — Twenty minutes of cuddles with G before we get up. Breakfast, meds, litter boxes and up to my office for a Productive Monday.
6:20 a.m. — Go over my monthly planner/calendar and write a to-do list as I find I can focus better if I brain-dump first thing. For nearly a year I did morning pages pretty religiously (IYKYK), but that’s fallen by the wayside recently.
6:30 a.m. — Ready for my favourite hour of the day: novel-writing time. I aim to write for an hour at least five times a week but after the recent cat drama I’m only just getting back into my routine so I’m trying to be gentle with myself.
7:30 a.m. — Manage 440 words, just short of my 500-word daily target. Try not to worry that they feel like 400 words of absolute drivel. Words are words at this point in the process.
9 a.m. — C is working from home today so we plan our weekly menu before I head back to the pottery studio for the extra session I booked to finish my mug. It’s gloriously quiet and I listen to my audiobook while painting. An introvert’s dream. Run out of free monthly listening hours so top up on Spotify, £9.99.
12 p.m. — On the way home I do the weekly food shop (we plan meals for four or five days normally, and leave weekends flexible) and pay for it from our joint account, £27.20 for my half.
1 p.m. — Have leftovers for lunch when I get home. I’m pretty useless between the hours of 2 and 4 p.m. so I spend the afternoon pottering around the house and doing some more job applications. C does G’s meds.
5 p.m. — Out of the afternoon slump and have a power hour of house chores (how are there always so many?) while C starts prepping for a new recipe he wants to try. I’m super lucky C does all the cooking. I used to cook a lot but just find it so spectacularly boring. Acts of service are one of my love languages and for me, being cooked for is the ultimate one! Since we moved in together eight years ago, C’s gradually got more and more into cooking (thank god). Now he does all the cooking and I do all the cleaning/laundry etc. (which I actually love). It took us a while to get here but now everyone is happy and it’s stopped the weekly bicker about unfair division of labour.
6 p.m. — Log onto a webinar run by my writing course. This one is a Q&A with a top literary agent and is super interesting.
7:30 p.m. — Dinnertime. C made an incredible mushroom ragù, which we have with potatoes and Swiss chard, both from the garden.
10 p.m. — Reading and bed.
Total: £37.19
6 a.m. — Normal morning routine. C is in the office today and kindly returning some clothes for me on the way in. He heads out for his train and I review my big to-do list ready for a day of life admin. I normally enjoy this but today it’s mostly holiday cancellation tasks, which is decidedly not fun. We were supposed to be leaving for an epic, month-long road trip at the end of this week but made the decision to cancel because of G’s diagnosis. Most of the big stuff like flights and car hire we were able to get refunds on or can hopefully claim back through insurance, but we’ve still probably lost around £1k.
8 a.m. — Take a quick break from life admin to measure the cat’s breathing rate while she’s in deep sleep (we have to monitor this regularly now). She’s lying upside down with her legs in the air, in what we affectionately used to call her dead cat pose. Perhaps a little too on the nose these days…
12:30 p.m. — I don’t do any writing today but catch up on a great webinar from my course while eating a random lunch of whatever I can find in the fridge that requires no cooking.
2 p.m. — Spend a few hours on yet another soul-destroying job application. I was a little naive to think finding a new job would be easy now I’m more experienced. I’ve never found it difficult to get a job before but right now it feels impossible. I’m getting nowhere, whether it’s a job at the same level as my last role, more senior or more junior, and it’s really hard not to take the constant rejection personally. Feel demoralised after reading some articles about AI on LinkedIn and have an existential crisis that my chosen career is the Blockbusters of the 2020s. Google how much it would cost to retrain as a gardener.
6 p.m. — Drop round to my mum and dad’s for a family catch-up before dinner because they’ve been away for a week and are off on holiday again tomorrow (ah, to be rich and retired). I stay longer than I thought and text C to have dinner without me as I’ve snacked at my parents. Throw some sweet potato fries and vegetarian nuggets in the oven when I get home a few hours later.
10 p.m. — Bedtime. Read a chapter of my book before falling asleep.
Total: £0
4:50 a.m. — Nice try, G. I politely explain it is not time to get up and offer cuddles instead. She stalks back to her bed in a huff.
5:55 a.m. — Up for G’s breakfast and have good intentions to write for an hour before C gets up but I can’t resist going back to sleep. Promise myself I will do some writing later.
7:15 a.m. — C is in the office again so I make myself a drink and sort out my ‘payday’ finances, moving some of my redundancy money into our joint account for bills, petrol, food, etc. It’s actually been a good exercise in really understanding what is essential in my budget and what is just superficial spending.
10:15 a.m. — Drive to our nearest town for some chores. Return another item of holiday clothing I no longer need (boo) and pick up some fake bacon lardons, £3.50. I went vegetarian at the start of this year and wanted to avoid ultra-processed fake meat but bacon is the one thing I miss and these are the exact taste and consistency of real bacon. 100% worth it.
12 p.m. — Spend some time in the garden watering our plants and collecting our latest harvest — an absolute glut of tomatoes and courgettes, and, excitingly, our first aubergines. We only got into gardening once we bought our house but it’s become a real passion. Roast some of my bounty for lunch and eat with leftover beans and mashed potatoes. Random lunch as always but at least healthy this time and it sort of counts as cooking?
2 p.m. — Spend the afternoon doing yet more soul-destroying job applications until C gets home at 6 p.m. Feed G and do meds as we catch up on our days.
7 p.m. — C makes the fanciest pasta bake I’ve ever seen, turning our home-grown veg into a divine sauce.
8:15 p.m. — In a pasta coma and really don’t feel like writing (this always happens when I put it off in the morning) but force 200 words out and do another online module instead. G keeps me company/tries to help by standing on my laptop.
10 p.m. — Normal bedtime routine of reading in bed. I don’t get to sleep until midnight because my book is so good I can’t stop until it’s finished.
Total: £3.50
5:50 a.m. — Morning routine with G then head straight back upstairs to my office. C is working from home today so I leave him to a lie-in.
6:30 a.m. — A good writing hour where I smash my 500-word target. Feeling on a roll and like I could keep going but stop in the hope that it will mean tomorrow’s writing session feels easier as I know exactly how I want the next scene to go.
7:30 a.m. — I’m really bad at having a proper breakfast but make myself yoghurt and granola before reluctantly getting on with some prep for my interview later. I’m pretty sure my lack of enthusiasm for the sector will shine through, but it’s good interview practice.
10 a.m. — Buy a new book on my Kindle, £0.99. Call a few local bookshops and see if I can manifest my fantasy life as a bookseller but no one has any vacancies. Next week I’m going to start looking properly for a temporary part-time job locally to tide me over until I find something permanent. I hope it will give me some structure and stop me feeling quite so anxious.
10:45 a.m. — Cheered up by getting my first cat-sitting booking on a pet-sitting app I recently signed up to. It’s quite a few days so I’ll get around £150 in total. Don’t know why I didn’t do something like this before as I think it could be a pretty good side hustle.
3 p.m. — Have my interview and it’s very strange. They don’t really ask any questions about my experience and can’t answer a lot of my questions about the specifics of the role. Confirmation it’s not the right job for me.
4 p.m. — Celebrate that C has finished work and now has just over a week of annual leave. It was too depressing to cancel all his holiday, even though we’re not going away anymore. We start thinking of fun (and inexpensive) things we can do so we don’t spend the whole week being sad. I’m feeling all the emotions this week because I also feel guilty for feeling sad about our cancelled holiday, when of course I would rather spend the time with G.
6.40 p.m. — C fancies a takeaway after the one I had earlier in the week and kindly pays out of his fun money he had saved up for our holiday. We have really limited options near us (the only thing I miss about living in London) but I’m delighted with more pizza as it’s my favourite. My Kindle book is amazing so I spend the rest of the evening inhaling it in one sitting before falling asleep around midnight.
Total: £0.99
Food & Drink: £77.15
Clothes & Beauty: £0
Home & Health: £0
Entertainment: £15.98
Travel: £0
Other: £0
Total: £93.13
Conclusion
“This is pretty reflective of my spending since I’ve been unemployed. I could spend even less but I’m trying to balance being frugal with spending a bit of money on the things I love so I don’t completely lose my mind, especially as recording everything this week made me see how brutal I’m finding the job hunt. I’ve been tracking my spending for a while now and what it has shown me is that when I was working, I spent a lot of unnecessary money (the total would probably have been five times the above). I ditched social media almost 10 years ago so I avoid a lot of spending temptation from that, but I’m very influenced by my environment. When I was working in a city, I spent loads on eating out and clothes and beauty stuff, most of which I’ve realised I can happily live without. I hope I can keep up this mindset when (if!) I finally get another job, and funnel most of my money towards savings and travel.”
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