This week: “I’m a 40-year-old part-time library and council officer from the West Midlands. I’ve been working in libraries for 14 years in various library assistant-type roles. I volunteer as a unit helper at a Rainbow Guide unit, which I love and have been doing for over 10 years. I live in a three-bed semi-detached, in a market town with my husband, S, and we’ve been married for eight years. Our house has been a project — the fixer-upper we didn’t realise was a fixer-upper until too late. We currently have enough saved for new windows but also have the kitchen to finish, a new bathroom and a patio on our list.
I was diagnosed with autism a couple of years ago, which made a lot of sense after a lifetime of struggles, misunderstandings and exhaustion. I had a nervous breakdown (they don’t diagnose it as that anymore but it’s definitely what it felt like) during COVID lockdown, when my routine suddenly changed and I was redeployed to making NHS Track and Trace phone calls. I reached breaking point, which led to a lot of therapy, which led to an autism diagnosis. Autism manifests in me as difficulty with social situations, sensory problems and difficulty with executive function, which means I find it hard to manage things like cooking, life admin, time management — what seems like basic adulting. I have to do a lot of positive self-talk to remind myself that autism is actually a disability and I’m not just a lazy, rubbish human. I also have anxiety and depression, which ebbs and flows (currently I’m feeling alright). I try to be kind to myself and remember that only three in 10 autistic people are in any kind of employment, so I’m doing okay!”
Occupation: Library service and council officer
Industry: Local council
Age: 40
Location: West Midlands
Salary: £15,250
Paycheque amount: £1,202 (after tax, NI and pension).
Number of housemates: One: my husband, S.
Pronouns: She/her
Monthly Expenses
Housing costs: £229.50 is my half of our mortgage, plus half of our £120 monthly overpayment.
Loan payments: £0
Utilities: My half of the utility bills is £60 gas and electric, £56.50 council tax, £35.75 water, £6.50 TV licence, £14 internet, £17.50 home insurance.
Savings? I save monthly into different online saving pots. Long-term I have £11,000 in an ISA, only to be touched in a dire emergency. Short-term I save into three websaver accounts, there’s about £1,000 divided between accounts for emergencies (such as the washing machine breaking, which happened last month), adventures (theatre tickets or holidays or visiting friends) and healthcare (I started this one when I needed to pay privately for therapy. I now have a good buffer if I need it again in the future, which is reassuring). S and I have £13,000 in our joint account, which is earmarked for new windows. We each pay £600 into our joint account monthly. What doesn’t go on bills is saved for house maintenance and holidays.
Pension? I pay 5.5% and my employer pays 10%.
All other monthly payments: £20.50 phone. Subscriptions: £5.50 Netflix, £8.99 Amazon Prime, £16 Sugar and Sloth stationery box, £11 NHS prescription prepayment, £2.50 Trefoil Guild membership, £2.49 milkman (or orange juice man in my case).
Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes, I went to uni for English literature, and then again a few years later for a PGCE. At the time my undergrad tuition was free, because I’m from a single-parent family. I took out the full loan amount for living expenses, which was £3,000 per year. My mum was receiving child maintenance payments from my father of £150 per month, which she passed on to me. For my PGCE I received a government grant to pay my tuition fees and a bursary to pay my living expenses. I took out a student loan of £4,000 but luckily I didn’t need it so I paid it back fully at the end of my course. I haven’t worked in any jobs where I earn enough to pay back my loan, and it’s unlikely I will, so it currently sits at £11,000.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money?
My parents worked as a supply teacher and a tax man, my mum worked for money for holidays and things like new carpets. We weren’t super rich but we were fairly well off. They split when I was 10, and I remember my mum suddenly having to find full-time work to be able to pay the bills. It was an acrimonious split and my father cancelled all the household direct debits, without informing my mother. The most noticeable for me was the lack of cable TV but he also cancelled the council tax and several other important bills. I remember my mum being really upset and stressed about this, and it was a really scary time for me as a child. The result is that I’m cautious with money, prioritise saving and S and I keep separate finances apart from the joint account.
If you have, when did you move out of your parents’/guardians’ house?
I moved out for uni at 18, travelled a little, lived in Spain for six months and worked several residential jobs at a holiday camp or charity fundraising, while basing myself at my mum’s house. At 25, after my PGCE, I moved home for a couple of years. I was having a hard time with my mental health and it took quite a while to recover. After a couple of years, I started looking at renting with a friend but she had to move away for work. My mother then sold our childhood home, gave me some money and I was able to buy a very dilapidated one-bedroom flat, which I gutted and made into the pink palace of my dreams.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself? Does anyone else cover any aspects of your financial life?
When I finally moved into my flat at 27.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
I had a weekend job in a health food shop when I was at sixth form college, so from when I was 16 to 18. I used to work in the school holidays, too. I think I got paid about £3 an hour, which I spent on alcopops, going to the cinema and as many shiny accessories and face glitter as my heart desired.
Do you worry about money now?
A little. I’m a fairly low earner and I work part-time. But our living costs are also low and we have good savings. Socially, money is a worry. I’ve definitely had friendships drift because I can’t afford to spend hundreds of pounds on a girls’ holiday.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income?
Yes, I am aware I am hugely privileged to have been given a large sum of money when my mum sold our family home. My sibling and I were given £38,000 each as deposits for houses, on the understanding that this was our inheritance given early. I used mine (combined with my own savings) to buy a flat outright, which meant I could live mortgage-free for a few years. When I met my husband we bought a house together and were able to put down a £50,000 deposit, which means our mortgage payments are low.
7:57 a.m. — My alarm is set for 8 a.m. but I’m awoken by the sound of my husband, S, blowing his nose. Or shouting into a tissue, as I think of it. Why are men so loud when they blow their noses?
8:24 a.m. — S opens the curtains to let some natural light in, otherwise I will fall back asleep. I do my morning routine of get up, open the windows, make the bed and take my meds.
8:47 a.m. — I get dressed (a black and pink floral dress today, from Vinted) and walk to the bus station.
9:08 a.m. — Get on the bus to work. I use my disabled bus pass so it’s free (this is the only benefit I claim and very worth it as I don’t have the coordination to drive a car). I eat half a flapjack for breakfast — at least it has some fibre in it.
9:20 a.m. — Text O, who I run Rainbow Guides with, and ask if there’s anything I need to buy for next week while I’m in town. She says purple and green card so I add it to my list.
9:40 a.m. — I’ve come to town early to do some shopping. I spend £3 in Primark on a Wicked tote bag, £2.18 on period supplies and £5 on groceries from M&S (stir fry kit, salt and vinegar crisps, a pepper, a carrot and some mushrooms). Alas, no purple card to be found for Rainbows so we’ll have to rethink that.
10:22 a.m. — I sit down in the staffroom and eat some crisps from home. I pop my stir fry kit in the fridge and set an alarm to remind myself to take it home.
2 p.m. — Work has consisted of lots of shelving and a two-hour reception desk stint, helping people with computers and (mostly) directing people to the public toilets. I get the bus home and use my bus pass again so travel is free.
3:10 p.m. — I’m home and make myself a boiled egg and toast as I’m starving. I put the TV on and settle in to watch a Channel 5 Christmas movie — this one’s A Christmas Blind Date.
6:27 p.m. — The danger with watching an afternoon movie is I often fall asleep during it. S wakes me up with a bowl of broccoli pasta. We decide to continue watching Rivals on Disney+. S pays for Disney+, I pay for Amazon Prime and we get Netflix from the joint account. I’m a homebody so I appreciate having good TV options.
11:25 p.m. — I remember to do some gentle stretches, which I’m trying to get into the habit of. Then get ready for bed and read my book until I’m asleep. I’m currently reading What a Way to Go by Bella Mackie on my free library app.
Total: £10.18
8 a.m. — I wake up with my alarm but I’m off work today so spend a couple of hours scrolling on my phone and reading a bit more of my book.
10 a.m. — Get up, open the windows, make the bed, take my meds. It’s 16 degrees in here so I pop the heating on for an hour and turn on the dehumidifier.
10:22 a.m. — The BBC weather app has promised two hours of sunshine this morning so I grab a quick bowl of malted wheaties and head into the garden.
12:20 p.m. — The BBC weather app delivered. I’ve planted an apple tree that needed planting months ago (whoops), done some pruning and sorted the greenhouse out for winter. I LOVE gardening and I’m really glad when the weather cooperates.
12:25 p.m. — I need a sit-down so I put a rerun of Friends on Netflix. Gardening is good exercise so I take the excuse to refuel with some Pringles S came home with yesterday.
12:30 p.m. — I need to wash my hair and I’m busy tonight so I decide to have a Sunday afternoon everything shower. My hair also needs cutting so I grab the hair scissors and take four inches off. It’s a shoulder-length bob and looks good from the front; the back is none of my business. Luckily my hair is wavy so it all bounces around at the same length once it’s dry. I started cutting my own hair during lockdown as the hairdresser’s is a bit of a social and sensory nightmare for me so I’m happy with DIY trims. After my shower I clean the bathroom and sweep the floors.
5:10 p.m. — S is home from work so we chat about our days and I make the M&S stir fry I bought yesterday.
7 p.m. — I’m in an online Trefoil Guild and it’s our meeting tonight. Trefoil Guild is Girl Guiding for adults; we have our own badges, awards, trips and meetings. We have technical difficulties with the Zoom but then chat about our guiding units and Christmas plans. I pay the monthly subs for this, £2.50.
8:30 p.m. — I watch some house-cleaning videos on YouTube and chat with my friends Z and Q about seeing Wicked. We’re excited to see it together but haven’t come up with a concrete plan yet.
10:30 p.m. — Head to bed and read my book until I fall asleep.
Total: £2.50
8 a.m. — I wake with my alarm.
8:58 a.m. — It’s a struggle to leave bed this morning but eventually I do get up and let in some air, take my meds and get dressed. It’s a black floral dress, pink tights and green shoes today. I’m lucky it’s a pretty casual dress code at work. I persuade my hair into little pigtails to hide the slightly wonky home haircut. Quite often I have no time for breakfast, or just don’t really feel hungry until later, and today’s one of those days.
9:43 a.m. — I walk to work. I’ve timed it and it’s a seven-minute walk.
12 p.m. — I spend the morning manning the library enquiry desk and doing loads of book shelving. For lunch I have leftover noodles from last night and a homegrown apple, and flick through a library book about gardening. I get a half-hour lunch break and make it a priority to get out and have a 10-minute mental health walk.
12:30 p.m. — We have a quiet afternoon so in between customers we decorate the library for Christmas. It’s felt snowmen and paper snowflakes galore. We’re a small team: only myself, K and G are in today. We’re going through some changes in funding and uncertainty about the future of our library so we’re making some nice distractions for ourselves.
5:15 p.m. — I walk home and decompress from the day. I have the house to myself so I can sit quietly and play my phone game for a while. I’m currently playing Cats & Soup and I have 106 cats.
7:30 p.m. — I watch Hollyoaks and find a half-open bar of chocolate on the sofa. The benefit of eating the sofa chocolate is that I don’t have to get up for a snack. I’m quite often wiped out by a day at work. Even if it’s a quiet day, the amount of social interaction and buzzy fluorescent lights takes it out of me.
10 p.m. — S is home! I realise I haven’t eaten any tea so I make myself toast, grab some sultanas and pistachios and take my daily multivitamins and omega capsule. While the toast is toasting I load some things into the dishwasher and sort some recycling. If I don’t multitask, nothing gets done.
11:27 p.m. — It’s bedtime and I’m glad to be finishing my ebook tonight. I keep getting reminders that it’s due back and there are seven other people waiting for it. I copy my friend Z, who saves £1 for each book they read during the year, then has a nice little pot of money to spend on lots of new books in the new year. I’ve been doing this since January and I have £70 saved. I’ve finished two books this week so I save another £2.
Total: £0
8 a.m. — I wake myself and S up with my alarm this morning. S gets up and tells me it’s snowed. I love snow! I text my colleagues and my Rainbow leaders’ group — alas no one is as excited about the snow as me. I also message T, my mother-in-law, about Christmas arrangements. S has managed to book Boxing Day off work and we’re looking forward to our usual post-Christmas meetup at S’ family’s.
8:35 a.m. — I wish I had some eggs so I could have one for breakfast, but we’ve run out. I order some free-range eggs from the milkman. They’ll come tomorrow, £2.99.
9:49 a.m. — I arrive at work after falling in the snow on my way in. My tights aren’t ripped but my knees are bruised and grazed. My kind colleague brings me a drink and a biscuit while I find the first aid kit.
12:30 p.m. — I’ve spent the morning on the council enquiry desk. As well as library work, we do some council admin jobs like putting through bus passes and helping with blue badge applications. I also add a lovely, shiny pile of donated books to library stock, which is one of my favourite jobs. I head to Greggs for lunch and buy a vegan sausage roll, potato wedges and a packet of crisps for £3.45.
4 p.m. — I have the late afternoon hungries so I eat half a flapjack from the emergency stash in my locker.
5:15 p.m. — Work is finished. I sit in the staffroom and eat my crisps then walk to the church hall for Rainbow Guides. It’s Parliament Week this week and we have a free pack of activities to do. We set up some games and a craft: rosettes in suffragette colours. One of the other leaders has a sick child at home and leaves early so I stay for Brownies too. Lots of the Brownies have moved up from my Rainbow unit so it’s nice to catch up with them and see how much they’ve grown. I stay and plan for next week, tidy up and don’t get home until 8.30 p.m.
8:15 p.m. — I’m home and put a frozen veggie bake in the air fryer and pop some random TV on in the background. I love helping at Rainbows but it’s really tiring after a day of work.
3 a.m. — I don’t remember falling asleep on the sofa but at some point I must’ve. Whoops. I get up and go to bed.
Total: £6.44
9:30 a.m. — I miss my alarm and have a lie-in. It’s my day off work so I enjoy not having to get up.
10:36 a.m. — I finally get out of bed. The milkman has delivered orange juice and eggs so I have a boiled egg for breakfast and a glass of juice. I have a shower and get dressed in a blue dress, blue tights, a long black cardigan and floral Doc Martens. I wear the same type of outfit every day (soft jersey dress, tights, cardi), which makes getting dressed very easy.
11:30 a.m. — S and I walk into town. We have a family funeral to attend next week and he needs a new suit. My friend recommended a charity shop that has men’s suits for £2 each. We buy S a lovely dark charcoal grey suit jacket for £2.
12 p.m. — There are no suitable trousers or shirts in the charity shop so we get a taxi to the shopping centre to continue our mission, which S pays for. We get lunch at Lounge. I have a vegan all-day breakfast, S has a burger and we both have a lemonade. It’s £32.50, I pay.
1 p.m. — We head to M&S and S tries on some options. He gets a nice grey pair of trousers and a black shirt and looks very smart. While I’m hanging around outside the changing rooms for him, I’m tempted by a sparkly purple ring but I can’t justify spending £25 on it. I file it away in the ‘look in the sales’ section of my brain.
2:15 p.m. — We get a taxi home, which S pays for. Neither of us drives so getting a taxi is unavoidable some days when we don’t want a quick errand to take up several hours of travelling time.
2:30 p.m. — It’s still snowing so I decide to treat myself to the ultimate cosy snow day. I put on the heating, the electric fire, tuck myself under a blanket and watch whichever Channel 5 Christmas film is on.
2:30 p.m. — It’s too warm and cosy so I obviously fall asleep. I’m super tired so I’m quite happy to catch up on some rest.
7 p.m. — S wakes me up to watch Bake Off.
8:30 p.m. — S goes to bed as he has an early shift tomorrow so I watch Hollyoaks. I’m still not massively hungry after our lunch out but I manage a bowl of Coco Pops.
9:19 p.m. — I’ve been looking for a new wash bag and spot a Liberty one on Vinted so I impulse-buy it, £13.34 including postage.
11:30 p.m. — Off to bed. I start a new book, The Most Wonderful Crime of the Year by Ally Carter, and read until I fall asleep.
Total: £47.84
8 a.m. — I wake up with my alarm and do my usual routine, make the bed, let in some fresh air and take my meds. I put the heating on and make breakfast.
8:30 a.m. — I have a shower, brush my teeth and wash my face. My skincare regimen is to wash my face with hand soap (currently a bar of rose soap from The Body Shop) and moisturise with Simple SPF moisturiser. Not very fancy but I do have quite good skin so I can keep it simple. I get dressed in an orange dress, red cardigan and brown tights.
12 p.m. — I’ve been on shelving duty this morning, replacing all the books that have been returned by customers. I live in a market town and there are some lovely food stalls so I take a walk to pick up some lunch. I get a vegetable samosa and some crisps and a satsuma from the greengrocer’s, £2.84. There’s a charity shop to walk through on the way back and I buy a retro angel Christmas ornament for £1.
5 p.m. — It’s been a pretty boring afternoon. The library is in a building with the leisure centre, registry office and town council. The swimming pool is closed for remodelling until next year so the whole building is getting lower footfall as a result.
6 p.m. — I walk home and scroll on my phone for a bit to relax. I play Cats & Soup and check Instagram. I get a message from O about paying for a Rainbows trip to see Paddington In Peru at the cinema so I log into the banking app and sort it out. In the group chat with Z and Q we decide on a time to see Wicked. Q books it and I transfer her £13.50 for the ticket.
7:30 p.m. — S makes baked potatoes, beans and salad, and we eat it while watching Interior Design Masters.
9 p.m. — S goes to bed early again. He works in retail and does a mix of late and early shifts. I put a relaxing Studio Ghibli music video on YouTube and read a graphic novel I picked up in the library today, I Shall Never Fall in Love by Hari Conner. It’s a really sweet story and I read for a couple of hours.
11 p.m. — Bedtime. My nighttime skincare routine is to wash my face with the hand soap and moisturise with either argan oil or a night cream from Facetheory with hyaluronic acid and retinol in. Now I’m getting older I find I need something a little stronger. I’m not quite sure what I’m doing with skincare but this one seems to help. I read my book until I fall asleep. If I don’t read until I fall asleep then my mind starts to wander and I end up awake all night, feeling anxious. Thank goodness for books!
Total: £17.34
9 a.m. — I’ve woken up too late to be able to get the bus to work. I set multiple phone alarms and have an old-school alarm clock but unfortunately I turn them off in my sleep. I quickly get up, shower, put on a green top, a long black pinafore dress, stripy tights and my floral boots, and book a taxi to work.
9:30 a.m. — I eat a digestive biscuit for breakfast while standing on the doorstep waiting for the car to arrive. The taxi costs £8.50.
9:45 a.m. — I work at two different libraries, one in my home town and one by the main shopping centre. I’m in the big library today so it’s nice to catch up with my colleagues here for a few minutes before work.
2:15 p.m. — It’s my half-day at work today so I’m finished nice and early. I’ve been religiously checking our HR website all week for my paycheque to appear. I don’t get paid until next week but I’m due a load of backpay for a pay rise we should have had in April. The payslip is there and after tax etc. I’ll get £400 extra in my wages. Yay! There’s a bus waiting for me at the station so I happily hop on and scan my bus pass for a free journey home.
3:30 p.m. — I walk home from the bus stop and quickly make egg on toast. I was a strict vegan for 20 years and I’ve only reintroduced eggs to my diet this year. I wondered if I was so tired all the time because I was missing a key nutrient. I don’t think I am missing a key nutrient; fatigue is really common in autistic people. For me it’s because I work in customer service and have to be sociable all day. But anyway, I realised I really missed eggs and they make a nice easy meal.
5 p.m. — I put a load of washing on, run the hoover round downstairs and wipe down the kitchen and bathroom so the house is slightly more presentable.
5:30 p.m. — S is working a late shift tonight so I have the TV to myself. I make an excellent choice of The Merry Gentlemen on Netflix, wherein a city girl returns home to save her parents’ music venue by making Chad Michael Murray repeatedly take his top off.
7:45 p.m. — I start making a big pot of vegan chilli. Onions, garlic, lots of spices, four cans of beans, a tin of tomato puree and a jar of passata later, it’s bubbling away.
8:30 p.m. — I make myself a bowl of chilli with microwave rice and put the other six portions in the fridge and freezer. Batch cooking always makes me feel like I’ve reached top-tier adulting.
10:30 p.m. — S is home from work and we chat about our days while he eats his bowl of chilli. We then watch a bit of TV together. S likes whatever’s on Food Network.
11:30 p.m. — Off to bed, to read my book and sleep.
Total: £8.50
“I write a list of spending priorities at the start of each month, just so I don’t get distracted and spend all my money without realising. On it this month is to be able to buy lunch on my work days, cinema tickets and taxis when I’m tired or late to work. S and I have a meal out together every month, so that was in the budget too. I think I’ve done okay!”
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