This week: “I’m a 24-year-old Open University student and full-time cam girl. I started camming in February when my mental health made it difficult for me to hold down a typical nine-to-five job. I have several mental health issues and it’s been a constant battle to get the right treatment or any treatment at all. When I left my fourth job I really struggled with not only my self-confidence but also my self-worth. I measured myself against people I knew who had jobs in their chosen field while I couldn’t hold down the simplest of jobs.
I was scrolling through Instagram one day when I saw a picture of a group of ladies, all different sizes and ethnicities, modelling together. I clicked on the page and it took me to an agency for cam girls. I loved how inclusive it looked and how they focused on all body types. Within two weeks I had signed up and had become a full-time cam model!
I live with my boyfriend of five years, M, in Kent where we rent a flat. We moved out of his parents’ house after two years of dating and originally looked at the Help to Buy scheme. Unfortunately, a month before the big move we had a call from the loan company we had chosen to say they had messed up some of our paperwork and we now had no house to move into. It turned out to be a blessing in disguise (at the time there were a lot of tears and a lot of stress over what to do next) because my boyfriend is auditioning for acting schools in January so we are taking the plunge and moving to London! Right now we are both saving like crazy, something both of us will admit is not our strong point, but I’m really proud of how well we are doing thus far. In the past I lived paycheque to paycheque, even having to take out loans and overdrafts to afford rent and my expenses, but being self-employed has finally started to give me some well-needed financial discipline.”
Industry: Cam girl/adult industry
Age: 24
Location: Kent
Salary: This really depends on how much I work but right now it’s looking like £35,000-£38,000.
Paycheque amount: Again this really depends on how busy it is online etc. but average £2,900-£3,200.
Number of housemates: One, my boyfriend, M.
Monthly Expenses
Housing costs: £650, split between me and M. We split everything evenly but once we move to London it’ll be on a pay basis, mainly because I want a flat that actually has a separate bathroom and kitchen – he’d be happy with just a roof over his head!
Loan payments: £110 for both loans and £23 for my overdraft. I had to take two loans out last year as I hadn’t been working due to my mental health, and the overdraft just kept getting bigger and bigger until I finally sat down a few months ago and started paying it off.
Utilities: £110 council tax, £12 water, £32 electricity, £32 broadband, split evenly.
Transportation: £0. I still haven’t done my driving test and I don’t need to go anywhere as I work from home.
Phone bill: £33. I get Spotify included but I still don’t feel like what I get is worth that much.
Savings? £4,500. I am so proud of myself! At the beginning of June I had nothing and now, finally, at the age of 24 I have learned how to save. It’s very easy: don’t buy yourself ANYTHING but if there is something you see that you really, really want, DON’T BUY IT. I have slipped up now and then but I haven’t bought myself any new clothes since May, which is a win.
Other: M pays for Disney+ and Netflix (yay!). The only other expense I have is £3.99 a month for my QuickBooks app. It’s a lifesaver and I’ve become addicted to it. Lockdown really does have you doing strange things…
7.30am: Wake up to find myself alone in bed. Very tempted to press snooze but I have to go to the doctor’s to have my implant removed and another put in.
8am: Really don’t want to leave the bed. Best purchase ever: a huge kingsize bed that pretty much takes up our whole room but is so comfy!
8.30am: Quick cup of tea and log onto the camming site I use via my phone. Barely made any money last week as I gave myself five days off. I’m such a great boss. See that a lot of my videos have sold and I reply to some emails from clients. Message my sugar daddy and ask if he’ll be sending my allowance today. My current one has been around for a few months but I think this will be the last payment from him; he’s started getting really protective and saying he wants to “save me from this way of life”. Erm, what about me actually liking my job? People like that really get on my tits. I chose this life, just like you chose your nine-to-five. Maybe I feel sorry for you, stuck at a desk all day!
9am: Walk to the doctor’s surgery with my mask on for the first time. This will be my third implant and, touch wood, so far they’ve been pretty good for me. It took me a while to find the right contraceptive – I was always forgetting to take the pill and I didn’t really like the sound of the coil so I went with this. I wish they would teach more sex education in school. I had a teacher tell us that when we had our periods they didn’t hurt and it was a teaspoon of blood. Thanks for letting me know!
10am: Ugh the wooziness. The numbing injection has made me feel so dizzy, so I’m going to sit with my cup of tea and do nothing for a few minutes.
10.30am: Feel a bit better so I grab my mask again and head out into the high street. It’s my best friend’s birthday and I want to spoil her. I am well known in my family for my presents, mainly for overbuying.
12.30pm: Have definitely spent too much. Bought a few essential feminist books along with lots of other bits and pieces, which I’ve already forgotten. I think my favourite was a notebook with boobs on, the salesman didn’t know where to look. Squirm for me men! Get home and decide to have the day off as my arm hurts so I won’t be able to type. Any excuse is good enough for me right now. Make a cup of tea and start wrapping presents. £94.96
2pm: Put on Netflix and scroll through my phone. End up looking back through all my photos. I’m a camera addict and have a folder for every occasion. Makes me sad seeing how much we used to do but I’m sure once everything is back open, M and I will be out there, doing fun things.
5pm: Head off to the supermarket to buy some food we forgot. Do some window shopping on the way and see some jewellery I really like. Take a quick picture and see if I can find it cheaper online. Grab a basket and buy more food than we needed but I forgot the shopping list so I’m not really sure what I was meant to get. £45.38. Trudge home, put food away and wait for M to get in.
6.30pm: Check my work emails and confirm some bookings for the next day. Upload a few pictures so my profile stays relevant. Make myself a cup of tea and think about tomorrow. M asks if I want to join in with his evening workout routine. I manage to do some abs but I’m too lazy to do the whole set. Put on Brooklyn Nine-Nine, get some chocolate and plan out my working week.
8.45pm: Jump in the shower. Give lots of TLC to my body and spend so long in there, the hot water turns off. Put lotion on my body and check my face for any spots. Blow-dry my hair and feel very pampered. M asks me for a massage and I can’t stop myself from popping a few of his spots; it’s just so satisfying.
9.30pm: Get into bed nice and early so I feel refreshed for tomorrow. Downstairs neighbours choose this exact moment to get into a row. It’s like they know when I need to sleep.
10.30pm: Still going. Try putting in some ear plugs but they make my ears itch.
11.15pm: Think it’s finally over now. Turn over my pillow and try to sleep.
Total: £140.34
6am: I don’t like it.
6.10am: No, don’t want to.
6.20am: Okay I am up! Ugh not working for a while really gets you out of sync. Must shower and make myself look less cavewoman and more sexy ‘I woke up like this’ kinda vibe.
7.30am: I need to buy more lingerie. It’s crazy how much I get through! Being online every day means guys can get pretty bored if you keep wearing the same stuff.
8am: Laptop is on, music is going and I am ready to make some money. Update my profile with new pictures and add another blog entry. As I haven’t been on in a while I’m hoping all my regulars come back. There’s a big misconception with camming that the girls make lots of money for doing very little. NOT TRUE! I work constantly, whether that’s texting potential clients, replying to emails, creating new content or updating my social media. I don’t clock off when I finish work, I have to be accessible to my clients in order to keep them and gain potential new clients. Computer starts ringing. And here we go…
11am: Phew, first half of my shift done. Really good morning, busy and I had some tippers too. Plus I had a customer ask me to change into my pyjamas so spent half an hour all cosy and drinking tea! Fingers crossed it will be a good day. Change into leggings and a top and jump on my exercise bike for an hour, listening to Lizzo.
12.30pm: Check my emails and see universal credit has emailed me. I was on UC for about two months when I was out of work. It really helped me not have to worry about money and just focus on getting myself into a good headspace. I took out an advance payment and they’ve emailed saying I need to pay it back. Log into my account and check the amount I need to pay: £333.59. Call them up and have a chat with a lovely lady who was really funny when I told her about my job! All paid off and now back to work.
4pm: Great, great day. Smashed my daily target and had regulars all day. Also have a new sugar daddy as I’ve gotten rid of the last one so I’m really pleased. I prefer having paypigs (findomme) because it’s much easier to lay out the rules and be in charge but this new man seems really polite and interesting and I won’t have to send him anything, it’s more for company. Lockdown has really shown me how many people struggle with loneliness. A misconception about the webcam industry is that we all get our clothes off and it’s all about sex. It’s really not. Most of the time guys come in looking for company or to talk about passions that you might share. I’m pretty geeky and I have guys who come to me to talk specifically about comics and gaming. If I tell someone I’m a cam model it’s annoying that I know their mind jumps straight to that. It’s one of the reasons only my boyfriend and my best friend, V, know what I do. In fact, she started camming because of me.
6pm: M is home from work and we put on some Ricky Gervais podcasts and wait for V to arrive. I’ve got out some games and drinks so should be a good evening. I try not to gloat too much about what a good day I’ve had but I’m still buzzing!
6.30pm: V is here! Tell her about my day and she’s really happy for me too. She knows how up and down cam work can be so it’s really nice to have someone in the same industry to talk to. V brings over a new laser which we went halves on and I send her the money. £130. Never done laser before so I’m a bit nervous but what could go wrong?
9pm: Played some games and watched Extras, one of my favourite TV series. Laser is out and we have our glasses at the ready. Decide to start on a low setting as I have pretty sensitive skin but V goes straight in with the high. She is one brave girl. M watches from the kitchen while I try and convince him to let me do his chest – big turn-off for me.
9.30pm: No longer a laser virgin! Think I did okay for my first time but even on the low setting it burned. I’ve never really bothered with shaving, takes way too much time and I always leave bits but I feel pampered and all girly now.
10pm: Use my new face roller. Not really sure if it’s working or not but feels really nice. Slather on a new moisturiser too.
10.15pm: Time to sleep.
Total: £463.59
6am: I am alive, alert and (semi) enthusiastic. Roll out of bed and into the bathroom. Go to the mirror and HORROR! I am covered in spots. I stare at my reflection not knowing what to do. Get out the exfoliating cream and go to town on my face, then wash it with lots of water. I knew that moisturiser was a bad, bad idea.
6.30am: Start adding copious amounts of foundation and concealer to my face. I love Max Factor as they do a 3-in-1 foundation which has pretty good coverage. Try adding a bright eye shadow to distract the gaze.
7.45am: Computer is on, I’m in my reliable red nightie, tea next to me and ready for the day. My face doesn’t look too bad on the camera. I love my webcam because it blurs your face a bit so it’s perfect for situations like this.
9.15am: Really, really slow start to the day. Do some house chores in the background. At the moment we’re living in boxes as we were meant to have moved by now, but just before lockdown started we decided to hold off.
11am: Log off after a horrendous morning of making all of 30p. This is what I find hard with this job. Some days it’s crazy money and some days it’s, well, 30p. Get out of my sexy lingerie and into one of M’s T-shirts and jeans. It’s his mum’s birthday today so I grab my mask (yay I remembered!) and head into town.
11.30am: Go into Boots and stop myself from buying any more makeup. Get some fancy bath products and creams. £35
12.15pm: Stop at Waterstones and spend ages browsing. End up buying some books for me too. I am a book addict and should probably stop buying so many but I need them! Get a few books for M’s mum on flowers and a baking book, and I get a book on herbs. £64.95
12.45pm: Do some quick washing up. M is on a new diet right now which means lots of washing up for some reason. We do have a dishwasher but I’m very anti-dishwashers and I don’t know why? Stick my false eyelashes on, get into my underwear and I am back online.
5pm: Ended up changing out of my lingerie for a client with a swimming costume fetish. Who knew? Much better afternoon but didn’t make my daily goal. I have three different goals to hit. Even if it’s slow I will stay on until I make my money but I still haven’t wrapped the presents yet.
5.15pm: Get an email from a regular asking me to come back on. Ugh! So annoying but money…
6.05pm: NOW I’m off. Wrap presents quickly and then jump into the shower. M comes home and tells me off for buying too much. This is an actual problem I think. Both get changed then head off to his mum’s.
8pm: Back home and I make myself a chai latte. Add some squirty cream as a treat to myself for no reason other than I want it. Debate what to put on. We always end up watching the same things. I read somewhere that people with anxiety watch the same TV shows and films a lot because they know what happens. Definitely think this is true. We decide to watch the new Snowpiercer.
10.45pm: Where has the time gone? I don’t want to stop but we both have an early start. We debate what could happen next as we get into bed and spend the next half hour discussing end-of-the-world scenarios. Great subject before bed.
Total: £99.95
6am: Been up for a while, scrolling through potential flats in London. M and I have very different ideas about what we want but I’m hoping he can be swayed to something I want.
7.45am: Really raining today so I don’t think M will be able to work. He’s a construction worker so it’s really weather dependant. I tell him I’ll see him soon as I’m pretty confident he’ll be back. I don’t mind him not working but I find it hard to concentrate when he’s there trying to make me laugh on camera.
9.30am: M is back. He’s not happy he’ll be missing a day of pay so I suggest he works with me for the day and I’ll give him a cut. I’m surprised when he says yes. This is going to be fun.
11am: Well that was a first! M always takes the mickey out of my job but I think he now sees that it’s pretty full on. I’m glad he got a taste of it. He’s really supportive of my job and whenever I hit a goal he joins in with the celebrations. It can be awkward sometimes as I earn more than he does, which is a first, but I love how in this industry a woman makes more than a man. This needs to happen with more industries so this isn’t an exception to the rule.
1.15pm: We’ve just bought the new game The Last Of Us Part II and it’s so good I really don’t want to go back to work but I have to think of the money. I found it hard when I first started to treat this as a job with set hours. I would always flit on and off when I pleased but I’ve become more business-minded recently. I write out all my hours on my calendar and try to stick to them. I also do a mix of hours so I can meet new clients.
5pm: Get a text from my sugar daddy that he’s sent me some money as I was telling him about wanting to game instead of work. Change into my pyjamas and get straight back to the game.
9pm: We’ve run out of some essential food so M and I walk to the shops. Grab some milk and veg for M, which he pays for, and I buy fags and scratch cards. £10.79. Walk home in the rain and feel all connected to Mother Earth. Get in and I look like I’ve been swimming. M makes some food and I eat my way through two bars of chocolate. I know who enjoys their food more.
10pm: Feel very tired. Remember I’m not working until 1 tomorrow – result!
Total: £10.79
8.20am: Wonderful lie-in today. Feel all groggy so lie in bed for another hour. M texts asking for money for fags. Send it over with an additional £2 for chocolate. £10.85
9.30am: Get on the exercise bike and put on Unsolved Mysteries. Become so involved with the episode that it’s not even like I’m exercising, which is great. Spend just over an hour riding before collapsing onto the sofa. Feel very Bridget Jones.
11am: Get an email from the university reminding me that I still haven’t chosen my modules for the next year. I had to stop my course in October because I was in hospital but I’m aiming to be back for the September start. Scroll through my options and decide on philosophy and literature of ancient Rome.
11.10am: Immediately start regretting choosing philosophy.
11.20am: Why would I choose philosophy?
11.45am: Start putting on makeup and I can feel a headache starting. If I overthink things or become too stressed, I get really bad migraines. I find it hard not to be in control, which just makes me more stressed. I’m worried about how busy it will be online, which is making me worried for how much I’ll make this week, which in turn is making me stressed about savings. Take some paracetamol and try to relax as I finish putting on my face.
1.20pm: Really quiet online. I’ve had days where I’ve wished it would be quieter just so I can drink my tea or go for a fag but I take it all back now. Text my bestie and ask if she’s working tonight. It’s great having a friend online too because you get some moral support, like if you get a rude client or to discuss some of the funny kinks we get asked about. She’s an amazing domme, whereas I specialise in role plays. I tried to be a domme for a bit but it’s the complete opposite of my personality. The more like yourself you are online, the more clients you will get. Plus it’s easier than having to adopt a whole new persona.
3.45pm: Just had a really, really rude client. Try not to let it get to me but I come offline as I’ve had enough. You have guys who think that because they pay you, they can treat you like dirt. My room, my rules. Ended up letting him stay for longer than I normally would as I need the money but it got too much. Call M and he says he’ll be home soon and has a present for me. Get into my dressing gown and put on Lilo & Stitch (my go-to movie when I’m sad) and eat another bar of chocolate.
4.15pm: M bought me some McDonald’s fries. Love him.
6pm: Really don’t want to work tonight. Can feel myself getting down about earlier and I don’t feel very pretty. M tempts me with a Netflix binge and food. I give in easily. Take off my makeup and settle down for a chilled evening.
10pm: Having a great evening off, haven’t even looked at my phone which is rare for me. M has the weekend off so he’s going to stay up but I have work at 7am. Go to the bathroom to exfoliate my face and spend 10 minutes critiquing every part of me. M picks me up and takes me to bed where we have a quick play fight, accumulating with me trying to go all Mountain and squidge his eyes out. He easily pushes me off and tells me to go to sleep. I’m too full of adrenaline now so scroll through H&M, adding things to my basket.
11.45pm: Eyes getting heavy…
Total: £10.85
5am: No.
5.10am: Not happening.
6am: Still no.
6.10am: I don’t want to!!!!
8.20am: So I’m obviously not working. Decide I’ll do a late instead and cuddle with M for a bit. I show him some of the flats I’ve found but he’s not impressed with the rent. I try and convince him otherwise but he’s having none of it so I go all grumpy and roll over. Next thing I know there’s a very lethal tickle attack and I surrender.
9.45am: M is off to the gym for the first time in months so I have an hour to myself. Wash up and clean the flat a bit, then make a quick video for work which takes longer than it should have. I keep getting the angle wrong so all you see is my feet.
11am: M comes back all sweaty but happy. I jump on the bike while we watch another Unsolved Mysteries. He gets really into it and we start coming up with theories. I make him promise that if I ever go missing he won’t stop looking. Sealed with a pinky promise.
12.20pm: My dad comes over and we all decide to go to the nearby shopping centre. M wants a burger and I just want to browse. Grab my wallet, just in case, and check my account balance online. Move £40 into my current account and hope I won’t need any more.
1.15pm: Get to the shopping centre and it is manic! People with masks, some without, no way of following the two metre rule. M goes to get some new shoes while Dad and I queue up for Five Guys. I treat M and Dad to lunch and decide to steal some of their chips as you always get so many. £23.59
1.40pm: M comes back with a new pair of shoes as the food arrives. Steal some chips and talk about the possibility of a holiday. Would love to go away somewhere, even in the UK, but Dad thinks we should wait until next year as he’s convinced there will be a second lockdown. I suggest a weekend away in London at the end of August to M and he agrees. Will be good to have a look at potential areas to move to and it’ll be nice to be away from the flat. Maybe even find a hotel with a spa, if they still have them open.
2.15pm: Carry on walking round the centre. Dad stops in a shop and goes on about some nail scissors. He doesn’t buy them, saying he’ll look on Amazon but I know he won’t treat himself. Get M to distract Dad while I run back and buy them for him. £37.89. M buys some doughnuts, then we head towards the car park.
4pm: Dad comes back with us and I remember he’d asked me to make some bread for him to take up to our family tomorrow. I won’t be going as I went last week and I’m seeing my mum. Run to the shops and get the ingredients plus chocolate. £13.74
7pm: Bread is finally in the oven. Had to make the dough twice as I messed up the first time. Play a game of Scrabble with Dad while we wait. M suggests we get a takeaway which I use as my excuse not to work later. Order myself some chicken wings and pizza and M says it’s his treat.
7.45pm: Give bread to Dad and his small present from earlier. Add a blogpost to my profile online saying I won’t be on this weekend and we put on a new documentary on Netflix: Fear City: New York vs The Mafia.
8.10pm: Food!!!!!
11pm: M makes cocktails but I still feel completely stuffed and get into bed. Watch some cute dogs on Instagram. I’ve been looking at flats that allow pets but they charge so much more. M and I both want a dog but we need to sort out a flat first.
11.20pm: Feel a bit down so M comes and cuddles me until I’m almost asleep.
Total: £75.22
5am: Can’t sleep. Go for a cigarette and make myself a cup of tea. Feel awake now so I might as well stay up.
5.30am: Put on my makeup and decide to work for a few hours. Have my mum coming over later so I have time to try and make some money.
7am: Log on, last about 10 minutes before I start crying. I don’t know what’s happening to me. Take off my makeup and just lie on the sofa. Go on my phone and catch up on some articles.
9am: Jump in the shower. M is still asleep and he said he’d wash up before Mum comes but I don’t want to wake him. Clean the bathroom, kitchen and wash up. Make afternoon tea for when Mum arrives. M wakes up, hungover, and steals a few sandwiches.
10.30am: Walk to the shops and buy some chocolates and flowers for Mum, along with more fags. £31.29
12.15pm: Mum finally arrives. She brings some old books of mine from when I was younger. I think about giving them to the charity shop but they hold so many memories, I don’t want to get rid of them. Serve sandwiches while we catch up.
1pm: Put on Hamilton as Mum hasn’t got Disney+ but I can feel a headache coming on. Try and concentrate but the pain starts to get worse. Have some tablets and a sandwich and snuggle up on the sofa with Mum.
2.15pm: Get halfway through but I don’t think I can watch too much more. Play some card games and show Mum the potential flats and then she’s off. Get into bed and try and make myself sleep but the pain won’t stop. Hear M playing The Last Of Us and I don’t want to miss out so take the whole duvet and snuggle on the sofa.
6pm: Pain still really bad. M puts on Lord Of The Rings while he cooks and I close my eyes…
9.40pm: Wake up in bed. Feel really hot. Set an alarm for tomorrow as I have to work, roll over and try to get some sleep,
Total: £31.29
Food/Drink: £82.71
Entertainment: £0
Clothes/Beauty: £165
Travel: £0
Other: £584.32
Total: £832.03
Conclusion
“Well I know the majority of my money spent was on paying back universal credit (well done me!) but that is way too much to be spending on other people in a week. It was my bestie’s and M’s mum’s birthday though so normally I wouldn’t be spending that much. Plus, during the majority of lockdown I didn’t spend any money on anything other than food and bills. Maybe it’s because shops are open again. I was really good at not spending money on myself though, which I used to find really hard.
I also need to start remembering my shopping lists so that I’m not overbuying food and then just putting it in the freezer. I think the rest of the summer should be better as there’s no one else’s birthday coming up, so I can just focus on saving.”
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