This week: “Hi fellow R29ers, I’m 34, live in Cambridge and am an operations director for a large tech company. I didn’t set out to work in such an incredible industry with fantastic benefits as I didn’t really see myself as motivated by pay but was passionate about project management so I did some formal training nine years ago, took a punt and it really just went from there. Yes I work hard (but everyone works hard) but luck and circumstance has played a huge part.
My role is very varied and I enjoy being part of a successful and exciting organisation but I find that I spend a lot of time worrying about it and about my team and their success. I find it quite lonely being the boss rather than part of a large team and I miss the camaraderie of working on projects with other people, and being friends with colleagues. As a senior leader it was a difficult realisation that everyone just views me differently now and may not want to be best mates with me. Sometimes you just need to be annoyed/frustrated with your boss. Also I think my team might wonder what I do all day!
I’m currently WFH and will be for the foreseeable, thankfully this is an option for me and I have worked right through lockdown. As I get a lot of my energy from being around other people and moving around the office and travelling to other locations I’ve found it really difficult to maintain energy when I just sit in one room all day, every day, although I have a big fat cat for company so it’s not all bad.
I own my own house and live with my cat and also my boyfriend (B). Thankfully he’s worked right through lockdown (the boyfriend not the cat) so we haven’t been under each other’s feet too much.
I am quite private (read: I find it difficult to share) and feel embarrassed/guilty about how much I earn. My pay has increased rapidly over the past five years and I have quickly fallen into bad habits of not really thinking about what I spend day to day as I have very little need to budget… Having said that, I tend to like a bargain and I don’t think I lead an overly extravagant lifestyle but I’m sure the readers will give me their honest views.”
Industry: Tech
Age: 34
Location: Cambridge
Salary: £91k rising to £122k with cash bonuses paid this year.
Paycheque amount: Averages about £4,300 per month once pension, holiday buy scheme, charitable giving, tax etc taken into account (not including bonus).
Number of housemates: One cat, one boyfriend.
Monthly Expenses
Housing costs: £800 mortgage
Loan payments: £0
Utilities: Approx £400 (B contributes £300 to cover half the bills and some of the shared subscriptions so in reality only £100 for me).
Transportation: Virtually nonexistent right now – maybe £50pm on fuel (plus all the normal annual car costs).
Phone bill: £13 SIM only.
Savings: £70k spread across current account, ISAs, various saving pots and a stocks and shares ISA. I transfer all my spending money and some savings to Monzo each month and just leave my current account to get on with paying all the direct debits. At some point I need to make a firm decision and stop letting money sit around earning me no interest in case of a ‘rainy day’ or my perennial fear of redundancy. I do try to overpay my mortgage regularly but again have this fear of not having accessible cash.
Other: I have a disgusting number of subscriptions… Netflix £5.99, Prime £79pa, Apple Music £9.99, Audible £7.99, Beauty Pie £20pm, Dermatica subscription £20pm, lottery syndicate £20pm (worst thing I ever started doing, have paid into this for seven years and never won anything worth writing home about but daren’t leave now – I rage about it every month), gym £150pm (including PT now that my gym is open again).
5.30am: Alarm goes off. B gets up pretty quickly to feed the cat and put coffee on. I scroll on my phone for a while before lurching downstairs to partake in morning coffee and more scrolling.
7am: I swap to my work phone to scan my meetings and emails – I always try to do this early in the morning to mentally flag what meetings I have and which emails I must respond to that day. Major regret at having a cheeky day off yesterday as emails have piled in and none of the problems have magically solved themselves while I was at the beach enjoying a dip in the sea. Although the sea was glorious.
8am: Head to my desk with my third coffee of the morning. Terrible habit. I’m a complete slave to my coffee but I do have a strict no coffee after 4pm rule so it’s all about getting as many as possible in before then. Team review this morning which means total concentration required – I put my video on and ensure I close down my email as I am super easily distracted. I try to highlight the achievements that I know might not seem enormous but represent difficult and challenging obstacles overcome to get there and remind others of what it means. I have no idea if this is appreciated but I would appreciate it so I persevere!
10am: Meetings pretty much solidly through the day. Mostly catching up with the team and talking about plans for the next few weeks plus a couple of stakeholder meetings to talk through the business case for an upcoming project. It’s an absolute scorcher of a day and I miss the office air-con big time.
1.30pm: I take 20 minutes to grab some food. Fridge is a barren wasteland but half a cheese sandwich is cobbled together and stuffed in face. More coffee and then push through the rest of the day.
6pm: Head downstairs to catch up with B on his day and sit outside for approx two minutes in the heat before I start melting. Tea is reheated Thai curry + noodles + some extra veggies in front of Netflix with a very hot cat who can barely move from the heat but can somehow still find the energy to beg for food.
8pm: Rest of the evening given over to reviewing a proposal and dipping in and out of a programme on the mafia. I have mounting anxiety about this particular proposal; since work from home began I’ve found my imposter syndrome really difficult to suppress and I get real dread about ‘big meetings’. I spoke with a female colleague in a similar level role to me and it sounds like she’s struggling too, which surprises me as I perceive her as some kind of superhuman hero – we’re hoping talking at each other will help.
9.45pm: Head up for shower and bed although sleep when it’s this hot is wishful thinking. Audiobook on timer is my ultimate sleep aid though.
Total: £0
5.30am: Cat is on my chest and wants feeding. Pathetic mewls and staring standoff occurs. I go to get up for the gym but realise I failed to book my normal slot so return to doze and B gets up for work and feeds the cat.
6.10am: I get up, make a massive pot of coffee and sit outside and make my usual rounds of social media, personal email and news. Find out my last festival tickets have been rolled over to next year. Normally my summer weekends are given over to festivals and sports events but all of these have been cancelled so next year is going to be busy. And, bonus, it will all be paid for already. Just hope that all the COVID stuff is better by then. Check out the shared shopping list and make some additions for the big shop. Fall into an internet hole looking for something to cheer my parents up as they are having a tough time. Purchase a cooling pillow insert and a handheld fan as they aren’t great in the heat and they’ll appreciate it. Pay extra for next day delivery. £25.49
7.30am: Switch to work phone. Looking ahead at the day I’ve got another team meet, a demo of a new application from a vendor, four 1:1 syncs, two meetings to work out a transition plan and two catch-ups on different initiatives that I sponsor. Thankfully I enjoy variety and don’t suffer too badly from context switching although I do get frustrated by the number of meetings and the lack of time to get on with ‘actual work’.
8.30am: Sit down at desk with more coffee and dive into the day.
1.45pm: A rare occurrence of a meeting finishing early so I grab some grub. Fridge still in dire state, settle for some tuna and Ryvita and big fat juicy tomatoes. I am never without tomatoes. Scoff down and grab more coffee and back to work.
5pm: Last meeting finishes. Wrap up a few emails that were half drafted and make a note of urgent things I need to get done. Finally break out of hottest room in the house and take my sweaty red face downstairs to catch up with B on his day.
5.30pm: Head out to Waitrose for the big shop. Have guilt about this because it’s so expensive but it’s the closest supermarket and my car doesn’t have air-con and I decide I’ve been hot/sweaty for too long today. At least I manage to stick to the list for once. Split the bill on Monzo with B. £36.53 my half.
6.30pm: Call my dad for a catch-up while sitting out in the garden, sweating gently.
7pm: Eat a super healthy grown-up tea of fish fingers, chips and peas and get drawn into a drugs documentary on Netflix.
8.10pm: Belatedly remember I need to review a business case and have no time to do it before a meeting tomorrow morning so get onto that with the documentary in the background.
10.20pm: Head to bed, audiobook on.
Total: £62.02
6am: Alarm/cat goes off. Urgh, stress work dreams mean I wake up feeling like I’ve just come out of a bad meeting, although in this particular bad meeting I was throwing biscuits at everyone who was being difficult. Analyse that.
6.30am: Get up, find B has left me a pot of fresh coffee. Hero. Scrolling commences. Stress about imploding economy and future of my job and then have immediate guilt as clearly in a very, very good position right now. Stress guilt spiral is assuaged by cat pictures and @goodnews_movement (great for escaping the grim reality of the current newscape). Note that Plum has taken £29.14 out of my account (not counting this as an outgoing because it’s just gone into an ISA). I started this because it automatically takes the money and invests it, otherwise I would just hoard it in my current account. In theory, the AI algorithm does it in a way where you don’t really notice or miss the cash. I’d like to get smarter with investing but I struggle to find time/motivation to shop around for insurance let alone start working out the ins and outs of investing so this works for now.
8am: Sit down to start work. Today is packed with stakeholder 1:1s and a couple of presentations to give (thankfully I have prepped them – I have been known to write a presentation half an hour before giving it).
8.40am: I just noticed I need to make an order for Feliway in case of cat anxiety. Order some more enzyme cleaner while I’m at it (£21.58). Work avoidance tactics totally in play here.
1.20pm: Rubbish morning thanks to a piece of brutal feedback which knocks me for 10. I have found WFH has really taken a toll on my resilience. Manage to take it gracefully (seething inside) and talk about how we might fix. Come up with no conclusive answers as I know this is a systemic issue but still feel like a failure that this reflects badly on me and the team. Mechanically eat sushi bought yesterday as a treat although am too busy overanalysing (still seething) and don’t take the time to enjoy it.
6pm: Finish last meeting of the day, do a bit of admin and emails and head downstairs to catch up with B and make a big panzanella salad. It is 50% sourdough and 50% salad and totally delicious.
8pm: Call Mum to talk about meeting up on Saturday and arrange a location.
8.45pm: Feeling shattered, head to shower/bed/audiobook.
Total: £21.58
5.45am: Alarm goes off. Drag carcass from bed and get dressed, feed cat.
6.15am: Head out the door to the gym.
7.30am: Return from gym. Have survived. Feel better. Make coffee. Scroll.
8.30am: Sit down to start meetings. Day has a couple of gaps in so hopeful of getting some breaks and clearing some backlog of actions/emails.
12.10pm: Break for lunch – leftover salad and some apples (+ more coffee obvs).
3pm: Final push through to the last meeting of the day. The one I have been dreading…
5pm: As expected, absolute car crash of a meeting but as usual we all ended on the old favourite platitudes – “really useful meeting”, “yeah great to get this out on the table”, “it’s moving in the right direction”, “we appreciate your hard work” etc. – despite none of it really being true!
6pm: Final emails out, head downstairs to have large glass of wine and make tea of spicy chicken, spicy rice and salad (not spicy). B has also bought some nice beers so crack one open to celebrate surviving another week (£0 as his treat). One of my friends who lost their dad to COVID is doing a charity challenge to raise money in memory of him. Donate £20 and send a message of congratulations for doing something wonderful to celebrate him – am in awe of people’s resilience and it puts my work stress into a lot of perspective. I feel better as a result and make personal pledge to not stress so much and enjoy things more. Discuss this with B and he agrees pledge is a good thing and we open a sweepstake to see how long I last. Heading out early doors tomorrow up north to meet my parents so will need to get sorted for that this evening but will likely have a couple of wines from the box of wine (don’t judge me) to close out the week. I will be annoyed at myself for this in the morning but for now, future me can pipe down.
11.30pm: Head to bed a little tipsy and having not packed.
Total: £20
6.30am: Alarm/cat. Realise I have a headache, entirely wine-induced. I hate past me and my poor decision-making.
8.30am: Have packed up, eaten some eggs on toast and made it out the door on route up north, hopefully in time to meet my parents for a picnic lunch.
12.40pm: Disaster. Car has broken down (it’s 18 years old so always a risk). Have to wait an absolute age for the AA who eventually announce it is not fixable at the side of the road. We’re not too far from parents and AA bloke offers to take car to a garage near them but he can’t take us because of COVID. Ring my parents and beg them to come and get us (parents still forever bailing me out, it’s a fact of life – no matter how hard I try to adult, they just adult so much better than me).
2.30pm: Get back to my parents’ and spend a stressful hour trying to organise alternative transport as no local garages are open and it’s going to need some parts ordered. Trains are RIDICULOUS and would take an age so in the end manage to find car rental. £127.
Feeling very tired and a little deflated about our plan for a nice weekend so we head for a walk and grab a drink (B pays) and I feel a million times better (NO not because of the drink, because of the fresh air).
6.30pm: Head out to dinner with my parents, lovely meal and a glass of wine and a proper catch-up. I feel tons better, the meal is delicious and the restaurant has just the right ambiance. They pay and I try to cover the tip but the world has gone cashless and Dad has covered it on his card already. Head back to my parents’, they are pretty pooped so settle down to reading while me and B head to the local pub for a nightcap (or two). We take turns on rounds. £17.80
12.30am: Return home to do the textbook drunk loud whispering as we quietly stumble around the house trying to find water and shushing each other in efforts not to wake parents. Get to bed and feel very pleased with ourselves for not waking anyone. Absolutely nailed it.
Total: £144.80
9.30am: A rare lie-in as no cat demanding food (he has an automatic feeder so we can manage to get away for one night without any drama). Get up, have coffee so I can call on the power of speech again and head to local Co-op to get some breakfast treats. Find some salmon, cream cheese and nice bread, my treat for everyone. £12.70
10.30am: Parents ask how my hangover is, I lie and say I don’t feel too bad while smiling my best sunny bright smile. I suspect it comes across as a bit manic and frightening but I’m trying to sell the lie so I persevere. This is their way of informing us that our super quiet impression of mice tiptoeing elegantly into the house late last night was more like a pair of drunken rhinos crashing through the house, Jumanji style.
1pm: Chill out with my parents for a bit and catch up on a myriad of topics but eventually pack up ready to pick up rental car and head home. Long drive and a lot of traffic but make it home eventually after dropping car off. £28.17 for petrol…seems super cheap to me as my car is a bit of a petrol guzzler.
6pm: So glad to see the cat. He’s annoyed with us for not being around for a night so he gets all the fuss and first refusal on the best seat on the sofa (to be fair he always gets first choice of seats). Eat some soup we already have in while watching something random on Netflix.
9pm: Shower/bed as totally exhausted and have the work fear kicking in (for anyone who took part in the sweepstake and guessed two days…well done, you were correct).
Total: £40.87
6.15am: Cannot ignore alarm/cat any more. Get up, feed cat, check emails/meetings for today and head out to the gym.
8.30am: Back from gym feeling virtuous and call garage who don’t sound too hopeful for sorting car out any time soon or even at all. Will have to wait and see. Text my dad the news and try not to stress about it (must. Remember. The. Pledge). Coffee time and see my Beauty Pie membership has gone out which means I’ve got fresh allowance. Log on and find that the stars have aligned and the serum that has been out of stock forever is back in. Rush to purchase two of those, plus eye cream and another serum I’m running low on (£46.49 inc postage but excluding membership as this was counted above). Suddenly feel like I have WON the morning.
9.05am: Realise I need to start work and haven’t showered yet… Genuine benefit of WFH, no one can smell me while I work so opt for making coffee and getting on with it. Back to reality and feeling very Monday again.
1pm: Day of various management meetings and emails full of problems that need responding to. Break at lunch to grab some snacky food out the fridge (tomatoes, Quorn mini sausages and a vegetable samosa + coffee obvs). Only have a few meetings this afternoon which should be good as can do actual work things but feel extremely tired and unmotivated today. Procrastination follows, which I know I’ll have to pay for either this evening or later in the week.
2pm: Speak to my dad who has been up to the garage today and they are going to look tomorrow. I’m glad as they hadn’t called me back yet and for some reason I have a pathological aversion to chasing people up as feel like I am bothering them. Finish up day at 5.30.
6.30pm: Tuna pasta for tea because carbs are king. Watch Wild Wild Country for a bit and take delivery of the big shop. I tend to prefer to do the food shop in person as I like to fight everyone for the yellow stickered reduced foods but this week I’m so glad we ordered online (£28.92 for my half, which seems cheap but I bought a lot of staples in the last shop).
8pm: Know I should do some work tonight ahead of tomorrow but feeling super tired so figure I’ll get up early and do it in the morning. Reply to some emails to assuage guilt while watching telly.
9.30pm: Head to shower/bed like the rockstar I am. Audiobook and out.
Total: £75.41
Food/Drink: £95.95
Entertainment: £0
Clothes/Beauty: £46.49
Travel: £155.17
Other: £67.07
Total: £364.68
Conclusion
“Reading back through the week, I think it’s pretty typical for me nowadays and I don’t feel too bad about the size of the spend overall. Since C-19 and WFH began I’ve saved so much money because 80% of my food is cooked/eaten at home. I would also say this is a pretty typical week in terms of random purchases of things I feel I needed (beauty products, cat stuff, presents etc) and does highlight actually that this is where a lot of my spends go without much mindfulness of the cost. Often I might put things in baskets but not purchase, go away to have a think before coming back to it to see if I really want it. It seems I was a bit more impulsive this week which might be because I was a bit more tired than usual. One to look out for in the future.
This was an unusual weekend in terms of activity (waiting for the AA) and spending pattern (meal paid for and hire car). I normally like to push for one night out a week but in Cambridge that could be £100-£150 out the door without too much effort at all so I saved from that perspective. The car thing was an additional expense but it’s one of those things that you just have to do. I know I have signed up to spend money on maintaining my car because it’s such a decrepit wreck and I saved money by buying something cheap a few years back.
I have found this week to be really insightful, keeping a diary shows me how quickly my week flies by in a quite repetitive work/eat/TV/sleep cycle and also how pervasive work is. Because there is no physical distance from it I find it hard to separate my work and non-work life so the guilt and stress creeps in. I definitely live for the weekends and even those have been a bit repetitive recently so I’ll be making more effort to do interesting things and be generally more active and continue to try and get away from the house as much as possible (while we can!).”
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Money Diary: A Consulting Manager On 83k